Dildo Reviews

Dildo reviews are fabulous when it comes to choosing the specific dildo to fit your particular needs. There are many different types of dildo so it’s incredibly important that you read up prior to purchase to increase your chances of finding the perfect one for you.

Of course, dildos come in all shapes and sizes much like the people who use them. Are you a large dildo fan or do you prefer slender and petite? It’s important to note the exact size of the dildo before you buy -and that includes the maximum circumference as well as just the length.

Dildos are made from a variety of materials and it’s important to be aware of what you’re using for your intimate pleasure. You can find out much more information about this subject in my Sex Toy Materials Guide. If you’re looking for a flexible dildo then silicone is the sex toy connoisseur’s material of choice as it’s non-toxic and non-porous as well as supremely soft and smooth. You can also find glass dildos, metal dildos -even wooden dildos and stone dildos which have been buffed and polished to an incredibly smooth finish and sealed for safe intimate use.

Most of the major sex toy brands produce dildos, including Lovehoney, Doc Johnson, Tantus, NS Novelties and Shots Toys. Some recent and noteworthy brands producing fab dildos are Loving Joy, GODEMICHE, Ylva and Dite and Fun Factory.

What type of dildo would you like? As well as size and material you can choose between realistic, non-realistic (abstract and artistic designs), double ended dildos, strap-on compatible and even wild creations such as tentacles and dragon tongue designs.

Find out more about pegging dildos in my Big Guide To Strap-On Dildos. I hope you enjoy all our dildo reviews here on the blog.

Sinnovator Cephalopod Tentacle Dildo Review

Sinnovator Cephalopod Tentacle Dildo Review

10 out of 10
Price:
£149.99
Materials:
Silicone
As a fan of ‘creature feature’ and monster-style dildos, I was delighted to be offered the chance to review something from the otherworldly Sinnovator sex toy collection. I chose the glorious purple tentacular delight that is the Sinnovator Cephalopod Dildo!

John Thomas Horny Platinum Silicone Stretcher Review

8 out of 10
Price:
£239.00
Horny is decidedly more abstract of a design than most of the John Thomas Toys range, though the official backstory is that it's the horn of the devil himself. But regardless of the backstory, each ring is a sinful challenge of its own to anyone brave enough to tackle it.
Velvet Thruster Sex Toy Review (Frankie, 7-Inch)

Velvet Thruster Sex Toy Review (Frankie Thrusting Dildo, 7-Inch)

8 out of 10
Absolutely mind-blowing sensations. I didn't think I'd be able to enjoy a similar experience to a full-size fucking machine like the HiSmith or Gigolo in a hand-held, portable dildo toy - but there I was, getting sensationally fucked by this extra-large dildo with powerful motor mechanism.

John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher Review

10 out of 10
Price:
£239.00
Officially, John Thomas Toys say that “Pod is an alien life form planted on Earth 88 million years ago by an alien race from Zeroth”. In my unofficial and unsanctioned by Games Workshop capacity, I'm calling it a replica of a pure-strain Genestealer’s tongue. And anyone who’s played Warhammer 40k has probably dreamt about being pleasured by a Genestealer at some point in their life. Well, now’s your chance.

John Thomas Arnie’s Extremity Fisting Dildo Review

9 out of 10
You get some respite at the wrist, but the feeling of fullness is akin to an inflatable plug. When you’re ready to continue, you'll find the overall girth grows again quickly, offering an even greater challenge; but at this point, it’s a slow, restrained stretch with no unexpected surprises and a more uniform expansion.

Twisted Beast Bael Bull Dildo Review

10 out of 10
Price:
£89.95
There’s a new term in town for when a sex toy is so gorgeously girthy that it blissfully bulldozes your orgasmic orifices. I’ve been thoroughly bull-dildoed by the huge and horny Twisted Beast Bael, a wickedly monstrous pleasure cock that cows you into submission with zero red flags.

Fleshlight Mr Limpy Small Packer Penis Review

8 out of 10
Price:
£13.99
Shop:
Bondara
Materials:
TPR
I really love manhandling my Mr Limpy; it's great stress relief via a bit of harmless CBT (cock and ball torture). Maybe a Domme thing. My slave loved the above photos and the video below, so I thought I'd share them here in case anyone out there shares our kinky interests... 😈
Wildolo Dragon Dildo Review: Large Fantasy Silicone Cock with Suction Cup

Wildolo Dragon Dildo Review

8 out of 10
Price:
£50.00
Brand:
HiSmith
Shop:
Amazon
Materials:
Silicone
This is a sex toy brand from HiSmith, who you’ll know from our enthusiastic sex machine reviews. The Wildolo Dragon Dildo is huge, pretty, silicone and has a suction cup base, and spoiler: I love it.

New York Toy Collective Love Bump Vibrating Ball Sack Review

7 out of 10
You can really enjoy the feel of a heavy set of balls slapping against you when you are having a vigorous play session. When I fitted them to a dildo on one of my Fucking Machines it really did hit the spot – there is something so feral about receiving a good pounding and having a heavy set of balls bouncing off your clitoris.

John Thomas Toys Curly Twirly Dildo Review

8 out of 10
Price:
£199.00
Looking for a dildo you can literally screw? John Thomas Toys, purveyors of all kinds of fantasy and monster cocks, has one that might be suitable in the form of the Curly Twirly.
Lovehoney Couple's Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2021 Review

Lovehoney Couple’s Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2021 Review

10 out of 10
Price:
£120.00
Brand:
Lovehoney
Materials:
Plastic, Silicone
Time to introduce the sexy STAR of the festive season: the Lovehoney Couple's Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2021 (aka Lovehoney Best Sex Of Your Life Sex Toy Advent Calendar). Lovehoney's lingerie and sex toy advent calendars usually sell out before advent time rolls around, so please make sure you buy your choice from the varied range as soon as possible if you don't want to miss out.

Sinloli Extra Large Sparkly Purple Anal Dildo Review

8 out of 10
Price:
£45.00
Brand:
Sinloli
Shop:
Amazon
Materials:
Silicone
It's silicone, massive, marbled galaxy pink and purple colour, and has sparkly glitter bits in. That's at least four of my boxes on "ultimate dildo design wishlist" ticked right there. But you're probably expecting more of a review than that, so read on!

John Thomas Toys Thingy Bob Multi Cock Head Dildo Review

7 out of 10
Price:
£119.00
What's the best part of a dick? I think we can all agree it's the head. So what could possibly be more satisfying than a dildo with a big dick head on it? That's not a rhetorical question: a dildo with FOUR nice big dick heads on it would obviously be better.

John Thomas Dino Slug XL Silicone Anal Stretcher Review

9 out of 10
Price:
£239.00
In my search for ever more exotic alien and monster cocks to submit to, this week I've found myself on the prehistoric planet of Arrakis. After slipping on a particularly slimy rock, I found myself face to face with this sizeable slug-like entity. Suffice to say, I had no hesitation in dropping my space trousers and allowing it to explore my hole.

John Thomas XTRO Fusion Colour Dildo Review

9 out of 10
XTRO was trying to communicate his dark hunger for me. A series of guttural clicks were followed by a deep angry growl, as he grew impatient for me to understand, let alone reciprocate his need. I tried to scrabble away, but couldn't help myself glancing back to find that wasn't the only thing that was growing. Luminous green drool dripped down his gaping maw, landing on his now huge cock. I froze, but at least I could be confident he didn't want to devour me for dinner.
John Thomas The Buxom Lady Neon Green Silicone Dildo Review

John Thomas The Buxom Lady Neon Green Silicone Dildo Review

9 out of 10
I've been interested in trying out some of the JTT range for quite a while, especially as they've had rave reviews from resident reviewer Tigerlily. After much deliberating I chose the Skittle dildo, the Buxom Lady dildo, the Sergeant Major butt plug and the Twisted Hog butt plug. This review is for the John Thomas The Buxom Lady Neon Green Silicone Dildo, and I have the medium size in medium firmness.
John Thomas Skittle Yellow Anal Stretcher Dildo Review

John Thomas Skittle Yellow Anal Stretcher Dildo Review

9 out of 10
I decided to choose some John Thomas dildos and plugs to review for myself, and opted for the Skittle dildo, the Buxom Lady dildo, the Sergeant Major butt plug and the Twisted Hog butt plug. This review is for the John Thomas Skittle Yellow Anal Stretcher Dildo, and I have the small size in medium firmness. 

John Thomas Umbungo’s Finger Anal Probe Review

8 out of 10
Who is Umbungo, and why is his finger so unreasonably long? Your guess is as good as mine. But what I can tell you is that his finger feels utterly lovely going up my bum.

John Thomas Woody Purple Silicone Dildo Review

8 out of 10
The John Thomas Toys Woody is aimed at people who, while watching Lord of the Rings, saw the enormous Ents emerge from the forest, and thought to themselves "I wonder what an Ent's cock looks like? I'd love to fuck one and find out".
John Thomas Toys Depth Training Colon Snake Silicone Dildo Review

John Thomas Toys Depth Training Colon Snake Silicone Dildo Review

8 out of 10
...the Colon Snake is one of the longest on the market. Compared to other anal depth trainers which are of uniform width, the head provides a little extra stimulation on the way out too, without being so big that it might get caught on something. It's a fun little feature, and if your fantasy is a snake up the bum, you're sorted.