Cara Sutra
Sex blogger, Domme, Sex toy tester. My guilty secret is that I'm boring.
Welcome To My Midlife Rebellion
This piece is the introduction to a sub-category of my Life Unscripted series of personal reflections here at CaraSutra, a category I’m calling The Midlife Rebellion: Ageing, Body & Womanhood. In the immortal and only slightly edited words of Bon Jovi, “It’s my midlife”. But whose rebellion is it? Mine or my body’s? Or is it both? Let’s find out together. Welcome to my midlife rebellion.
Womangift GAIA Cordless Wand Vibrator Review
This toy has proven that I can have the best of both worlds. The powerful buzz of GAIA gets me off, and the vibrator is like a hugely upgraded version of a bullet vibrator. Now for the tricky part: which colour will you choose?
Best BDSM Apps for Couples: Find the Right App for Your Dynamic
There’s an app for everything these days, so why shouldn’t that include BDSM? While researching the best BDSM apps for couples, it became clear that ‘best’ really depends on what you want from the app. Read on for my top picks of apps for partners in a kink relationship, to support your unique power exchange dynamic.
Do Vibrators Desensitise You? The Truth About Sensitivity and “Addiction”
Do vibrators desensitise you? I hear this worry about sex toys quite regularly from readers; that using vibrating toys leads to desensitisation of the body and reliance on them, so that you're unable to orgasm without using a vibrator. Is there any truth to this fear, or is it yet another sex toy myth? That's the heart of today's feature, where I'll answer this question with calm, clear facts backed up by medical research and scientific evidence.
BeMoreKinky App Review: A BDSM App for Couples
If you’ve been looking for a BDSM app for couples that actually helps you explore kink, communicate clearly, and navigate consent without awkward guesswork, this one promises a lot. After testing its features, from play planning and kink quizzes to habit tracking and partner matching, here’s what BeMoreKinky really offers, and whether it’s worth using in a real BDSM relationship.
Chastity in BDSM: Cages, Keyholding, Orgasm Denial and Power Exchange
Chastity in BDSM is about so much more than wearing a locked chastity device. It’s about power and control, vulnerability and surrender, consensual denial of pleasure and highly erotic discipline. From male chastity cages and keyholding to orgasm denial and release rituals, this hub is your handy resource for exploring my guides, reflections and real life experiences with chastity play.
Parenting in a Neurodivergent Household: A Mother’s Reflection
Parenting is different for everyone, but what most parents agree on is that it isn't easy. The practical and emotional challenges shift through the years as you raise a child from newborn needs to independent adulthood and, one day, watch them fly the nest. That’s how it usually goes, anyway. But when you're raising neurodivergent children, all the usual expectations have to be let go.
Fetish Psychology: Why Kinks Turn Us On and What They Mean
This hub brings together my writing on kinks, fetishes, taboo fantasies, and the emotional mechanics behind arousal. If you've ever wondered why something turns you on, why people find certain fetishes alluring, why a fetish can feel so intense, or why fantasy doesn't always match up in real life, start here.
BDSM Foundations: Safety, Consent, Communication and Risk Awareness
BDSM foundations cover safety, consent, communication, and risk awareness, so that you can explore kink with confidence, clarity, and genuine care for everyone involved.
Speaking as an experienced Domme of twenty years, I created this hub because BDSM is not just what you do, it's how you do it. Technique matters, but the basics matter more.
Dominance in BDSM: FemDom Power Dynamics, D/s Relationships and Control
Dominance in BDSM is not just about control. It involves power exchange, consent, confidence and understanding the emotional and psychological layers behind authority. This hub brings together my guides on FemDom, bedroom dominance, lifestyle power dynamics and practical Dom techniques.
BDSM Aftercare Guide: Emotional Drop, Recovery and Staying Connected After Play
This article is your comprehensive BDSM aftercare guide. It's easy to understand, practical and useful. It's also realistic, because it's important to know how aftercare actually works in real relationships, casual kink play, D/s events, and long-term dynamics.
Beyond the Sex Blogger Label: Revealing the Rest of Me
What follows is the hardest post I've ever written here on my blog. It's a confession of all the things I never said at the time, because I was ashamed and embarrassed. I was afraid of being seen as less. Less of a person, less of a woman, less of a sex blogger. I have changed. It's time to reveal and to heal.
Turning Post-Sex Clean-Up Into Intimate Reconnection
Real sex is often hot, sweaty, squelchy, messy. Once the lusty passion is quenched, you're left breathless, exhausted... and needing a wash. Today I want to talk about the part you don’t often see discussed in sex advice articles: cleaning up after sex. There are loads of ways to turn post-sex clean-up into intimate reconnection, making this practical aspect romantic and an additional way for you to demonstrate your care for each other.
Aftercare After Sex: How to Reconnect, Recover and Deepen Intimacy
Sexual aftercare has taught me that the intimacy doesn’t end when the physical pleasure does. It is carried through in how we look after each other once our bodies physically separate and the lusty arousal fades. The mutual care that comes after the eroticism is where the true strength of our relationship resides.
From FitBit to Visible: Learning to Live with M.E.
It truly is devastating. Life looked a certain way, before; bright, active, hopeful. Now, life is darker, restricted, depressing. I’ve gone from running a busy life juggling motherhood, my relationship, my sex life, my hormones in perimenopause, my fulltime self-employment and my exercise and fitness goals, to a needle-scratch moment of life where the record was changed without warning or consent to an ominously slower pace. Of course I’m upset. Wouldn’t you be?
Trusting That I’m Loved When I Struggle to Love Myself
Postponing love until some day which never actually comes is learnt self-cruelty. I’m rejecting self-cruelty and embracing self-kindness. How will I go about fully believing in his love for me? I don’t have all the answers, but I know I have to do the work dismantling my old belief systems.
Writing With a Spine
I may not have a spine on the bookshelf, but I've got one in my body. And I'm freshly committed to writing with a backbone. Wherever my writing is published.
Living with Low Libido: Where I Am Right Now
If you’re expecting an advice post, or a triumphant “problem solved!” write-up, you’re going to be disappointed. I’m right in the middle of this frustrating situation, and right now, there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. I’ve taken all my own advice about increasing your sex drive, followed all the usual sex tips. Nothing is working.
Why I Love Winter: A Slower Rhythm, Darkness, and the Permission to Rest
I enjoy winter as a natural pause, a time for clarity and introspective focus. This transitional period is a great annual opportunity to properly consider what I’d like to work on, what my plans are and how I’ll move forwards into literal and metaphorical spring.
Winter lets my feelings exist exactly as they are, and that authenticity is perfectly aligned with my core values.
Why I’m Writing a Survivor’s Journal
It’s important to me to tell my own story in my own words, rather than continuing to be psychologically affected by other people’s versions of my lived reality. Fighting against past gaslighting which echoes around my psyche is a daily battle. I’m no longer willing to minimise, distract from or ignore my experiences for my own or other people’s comfort. It’s my life, no-one else’s.
