John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher Review
Tigerlily’s review of the John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher (medium size/12-inch, soft firmness)
Officially, John Thomas Toys say that “Pod is an alien life form planted on Earth 88 million years ago by an alien race from Zeroth”. In my unofficial and unsanctioned by Games Workshop capacity, I’m calling it a replica of a pure-strain Genestealer’s tongue. And anyone who’s played Warhammer 40k has probably dreamt about being pleasured by a Genestealer at some point in their life. Well, now’s your chance.
Related: John Thomas Toys reviews | Huge Dildo reviews | Huge Anal Toy Reviews
With four different sizes, two firmness ratings, and a selection of four colour styles (pink and black as reviewed, pastel pink and lime green, plain red, or a random mix), you’re sure to find a John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher to suit.
I opted for Medium size, which we’ll examine more in a bit, and Soft firmness. While I normally wouldn’t recommend Soft for any dildo because of how awkward it can be to get inserted anywhere, I figured that for the most realistic tongue-like experience, it should be somewhat squishy. I want to feel this slither right into me from the tiniest tip until the maw is touching my savaged hole. For easier full insertions, softer is definitely more forgiving.
What’s in the Box?
All John Thomas Toys are shipped in a plain brown box to protect your privacy, with nothing dodgy on the label. Of course, if your local postie is a fellow kinkster, they might know who JTT Trading Ltd is, but it’s quite unlikely. And if they are, hey—new friend to show off your collection to!
Inside you’ll find your chosen toy (plastic wrapped, but you should still wash it before first use), plus a strong, branded faux velvet storage bag, and a Vac-u-lock suction cup adaptor.
Although not an official Doc Johnson product, nearly all John Thomas Toys dildos are equipped with a Vac-u-lock compatible cavity in the base. That means you can affix your toy to any Vac-u-lock plug-equipped devices, such as the included suction cup adaptor, or a HiSmith Premium fucking machine. You can also use the suction cup in an O-ring strap-on.
Honestly, I find it very strange when a dildo doesn’t have a Vac-u-lock cavity, so while this is definitely a point in John Thomas’ favour, it really should be an established standard.
As with all John Thomas Toys, Pod is made of platinum silicone; the best money can buy. It won’t react with any kind of lubricant, nor will it will melt any other toys. It’s easy to rinse with soap and water, or you can boil it in a weak bleach solution, or just throw it in the dishwasher. You can be absolutely confident that anything you buy from John Thomas Toys is not going to mess up your body, or be difficult to clean.
Design and Sizing
The John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher has a nice curvature to it on one axis only, so you can only see it from the side. Rotate it 90 degrees and it looks straight.
There’s no random knobby bits to surprise you, though you will find sinews of tongue muscles running lengthwise down the shaft. They add a little subtle interest as your hole is being stretched in every direction, but nothing is discernible as being a specific progress marker. It just feels nice and smooth the whole way down. Until you get to the base, where you’ll find a sizeable set of lips awaiting you.
Thankfully, the texture of the John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher is much smoother than an actual tongue too, which tends to be quite scratchy (a human one, anyway, I can’t profess to have actually met a real-life Genestealer). This is one of the aspects of the newer marbled colour mixes that John Thomas Toys is doing—they tend to have a glossier surface that lubes up well.
In the Medium size pictured, you have 11.14 inches of insertable length, and it weighs around 1.3kg (though this isn’t an exact science, the exact weight will vary). Drop down to Small and this becomes 8.3 inches insertable (530g weight), or size up to 13.8 and 16.7 inches (2.5 and 4.3kg) on the Large and X-Large respectively.
Medium Pod tapers down uniformly and gently the entire shaft from the finger-sized tip to 12.6 inches circumference maximum near the base. On the Small size this is a “mere” 9.25 inches at the girthiest point, while Large and X-Large take that up to an eye-watering 15.7 and 19 inches.
How is it During Use?
There’s always a risk when choosing a toy in Soft firmness. If they’re too thin, it just flops over; no good for mounting it, but fine for depth play snake-style toys. But even in Soft the gently expanding structure of the John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher means it’s easy to fuck, either mounted on a shower tile, sat on top of, or any of your favourite positions. You might need to push the tip in, however, but after that it shouldn’t bend too much.
For me, the John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher is the perfect combination of deep anal probe, and hole-stretching. It starts to hit the back just as it gets tricky. So at the same time as having a little finger-sized top of the tongue probing into your deepest places, you’re simultaneously being gently pushed open, wider and wider. Few other toys can offer this dual sensation; John Thomas Toys Umbungo’s Finger being another.
I must admit, I’m also partial to making out with Pod before I let him probe my butt. One likes a little foreplay first, you know?
Ready to Be Stretched by POD?
I’d recommend the John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher for anyone who wants to:
– Feel their holes being stretched to their limits.
– Kiss an alien / Genestealer.
– Be probed in every orifice by an alien tongue.
Gimme some tongue, baby. Pod is gorgeous, fun, and full of fantasy opportunities. 10/10.
– Tigerlily
Bonus feature: Enjoy Tigerlily’s erotic flash fiction inspired by the John Thomas POD!
Click to read Lyra & Rael
Buy Yours Today
Thanks so much to Tigerlily for this fantastic & thorough sex toy review! Find more fab dildo & sex machine reviews by Tigerlily at CaraSutra -as well as at Tigerlily’s own website, sextoydb.com.
Buy your John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher directly from John Thomas Toys by clicking through the big green button below:
John Thomas Toys is a sponsor of carasutra.com
 with plenty of photos){kind=link}