What's a girl (or guy) to do if buzzy vibrators just don't do the job? Well, you might want to look at sex machines: mechanical beasts that thrust relentlessly on command and keep hammering away until you say stop. The robot revolution is here, and I for one welcome my new orgasmic machine overlords.
Never have I stared upon a dildo as exquisitely handsome, and in equal measure, as bone-quiveringly terrifying. I think I'm in love. Let's back up a little before I gush some more. The Hankey's Toys Dragon Dildo is a toy of epic proportions, available from Mr Hankey's Toys from $130.
The Zumio S Spirotip Clitoral Vibrator is the smaller sibling of the Zumio X model, which Cara reviewed last month. While well-received by many, some felt even the lowest setting of the Zumio X model was almost painfully intense. The Zumio S not only lowers the overall intensity of motor, but has added a large, slightly squishy silicone tip to increase surface area and disperse the strength of the oscillations.
When your prostate demands a premium massage experience, look no further than the Nexus Revo range. This year, the line has received a small update with more functions and better water resistance. Thanks to the Cara Sutra Pleasure Panel and Nexus, I was given the pleasure of trying out the 2019 Nexus Revo Stealth Prostate Massager model.
Few of us have ever needed an excuse to lick our partner from head to toe, but no one ever turned down an offer of chocolate either. So I was helpless to resist reviewing the Lovehoney Oh! Chocolate Body Paint, available now from lovehoney.co.uk, priced £6.99 for a 120g tube.
The SVAKOM Tammy is a unique dual cock ring and clitoral stimulator, designed to worn during penetration to enhance the experience. The SVAKOM Tammy Vibrating Double Cock Ring is available to buy here.
Thanks to this month's Pleasure Panel, I got the chance to squeal like a piggy as I tested out the NS Novelties Oinkz Silicone Pig Tail Butt Plug. Are you ready to go the whole hog with this porcine plug?
Welcome to the future: the Vibease Smart Remote Control Vibrator is a new generation of toy that can sync with a smartphone or be controlled by someone on the other side of the world. But if you don't want to give control to someone else, you can also let a specially crafted audiobook dictate the action. Intrigued? You should be.
The MasturMate Handle looks more like a plumbing accessory than an essential solo sex toy, but after a few weeks of playing with it, I'm not sure how I lived without one. It's ingenious, and I can't get enough of it. It's so simple, yet absolutely mind-blowing fun.
Icicles is a range of hand-blown glass dildos and butt plugs from makers Pipedream. This week, I was offered the chance to review the Icicles No 74 Black Glass Heart Shaped Butt Plug. It's available from Bondara for £24.99.
The Locked In Lust Vice is the first male chastity device with an anti-pullout system, designed to make it completely inescapable. It's available now from Locked In Lust for $159.95. It comes in four colours (clear, chrome, purple, pink), and three cage sizes (mini, standard, and plus). Each model includes four rings, four spacers, and three anti-pullout clamps. Thanks to Cara's Pleasure Panel and Locked In Lust, I got the chance to be locked up in a regular pink size.
So Divine are a UK company known for their range of safe and affordable sex toys to suit all tastes. Their new Prosecco Lubricant is their first foray into the personal lubrication market, available now direct from so-divine.com for £7.99/100ml bottle. So should you crack out the bubbly, or is this one best left on the shelf?
I'm a sucker for big dildos, so I jumped at the chance to review the Silexd 9 Inch Realistic Silicone Dual Density Suction Cup Dildo With Balls. Using a new material for the inner core, Silexd claims a revolution in the sex toy market, aiming to destroy the scourge of toxic jelly toys, and bring safe, affordable toys to all. If this is their weapon of choice, viva la revolution!
Just before Christmas, I had the privilege of trying out the Strawberry Flavour Royal Condoms, and was impressed by the intense fruity hit and neutral aftertaste. Designed for great tasting oral play and more, the Strawberry review left me with one really important question: what's the chocolate flavour like?
The Royal Condoms Strawberry Flavour are a great tasting essential for safe blowjobs and more. Coming in packs of three lubricated and individually wrapped condoms for £6.50, they're also available in chocolate and natural.
The Nasty Boy Squirting And Warming Rabbit Vibrator, available for $70 from the NastyBoyShop.com, sounds delightful on paper, and I'm a sucker for anything that claims to squirt. So thanks to the Pleasure Panel this month, I had the honour of checking out this particular nasty boy, and seeing if it's worth your hard earned cash. Spoiler alert: it's really not.
The MEO Lockable Leather Bondage Collar With Time Lock is available now for €59, and thanks to the Cara Sutra Pleasure Panel toy fairies this month, we were given the opportunity to bring this into our bondage sessions.
I know what you're thinking: does the world need yet another rabbit? At first glance, you'd be forgiven for thinking this is more of the same. But astute readers will have noticed the word "thrusting" in the product title. This little rabbit doesn't just vibrate: it can move back and forth, too. Does it really feel like you're being penetrated?
...having gone through an immeasurable number of them, I'd consider myself a bit of an expert. It's with great pleasure then that this month I was given the opportunity to try out the Palm Power Throbbing Dong Inflatable Vibrating Butt Plug, available from online sex shops for the comparatively budget price of £17.95.
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