Kinky Sex Advice

Kinky sex advice for safe, informed exploration, stronger consent, and pleasure that feels good in real life.

Welcome to my Kinky Sex Advice hub. This is where I keep my most practical guidance on exploring kink with confidence, care, and clear consent. Expect beginner friendly safety basics, realistic communication help, and deeper dives into power dynamics, play styles, gear, and specific kinks. Everything here is written for real people, real bodies, and real relationships.

For broader bedroom guidance, head to Sex Advice. For everyday techniques and quick wins, browse Sex Tips. For deeper reflections on desire, identity and sexuality, explore Sexuality Articles. For toy related kink gear, you might also like Sex Toy Advice and my Sex Toy Guides hub.

Jump straight to the section that fits where you are right now.

Start Here

New to kink, or returning after a long gap? Start with these. They cover consent, boundaries and safer frameworks, so the fun parts feel clearer and more relaxed.



Kink Basics

These are the grounding posts that help everything else make sense, especially when labels or expectations get muddy.



Types of Kink and Play

Hands on ideas, plus the safety context that stops curiosity turning into stress. Pick what suits your vibe and build slowly.



Power Dynamics and Relationships

Power exchange is not just “who does what”. It is trust, boundaries, compatibility, and staying connected when life is busy or messy.



The non negotiables. Clear limits, active consent, and tools for stopping or adjusting without shame or drama.



Fetishes and Interests

A grab bag of kink curiosities, explained with context and reality checks, without pretending every fantasy has to look the same in real life.



Where To Start

Not sure what you need? Pick the line that matches your current situation and start there.



My Approach

I write about kink with a strong bias towards consent, safety, and emotional reality. There is no single correct way to be kinky, and there is no gold star for intensity. Kink can be playful, gentle, intimate, awkward, and still deeply satisfying. The aim is to explore in a way that feels aligned, safe, and genuinely enjoyable for the people involved.

Real world factors matter here too. Stress, confidence, trauma history, disability, sensory needs, privacy, relationship dynamics, and experience levels can all shape what works. This space makes room for that, without judgement or pressure.

Browse popular themes and jump straight to what you need right now.


Scroll down to explore the latest posts in this category, and use the quick links above to jump to consent basics, play ideas, power dynamics, gear, or specific kinks.

What Is Gooning? Welcome To The Goon Cave

What is gooning? I hear you ask. Some of you might know exactly what it is, but gooning was new to me (the phrase, certainly not the activity!) so of course I did my research. This prolonged dance on the edge of orgasm is extremely interesting to me, as I’ve long been fascinated by the altered mind state that happens through extended masturbation, as well as orgasm tease and denial. Gooning is a trance-like style of self-pleasure where the goal isn't orgasm but sustained arousal, with the mind drifting into a floaty, immersive state often called the goon cave.

Monster Sex Fantasies Kink: Tentacles, Werewolves and Erotic Fear Play

Monster sex fantasies are the result of a primal force within us. These taboo desires blur the line between desire and danger, where pleasure is laced with fear. What do you dream about pleasurably devouring you?

Vampire Fetish Guide: Biting, Blood and BDSM Power Exchange

Through the centuries, there have always been people with a vampire fetish, folk fascinated with these elegantly erotic predators. Vampires may be dark and deadly, but they’re also incredibly alluring and seductive, with a commanding presence, otherworldly creature vibes and tantalising immortality. Sharp fangs and pale skin are the finishing touches to the power theme which blends Domination, submission and blood.

BDSM Symbols and Meanings: Triskelion, Flags and Collars Explained

Curious about BDSM symbols? This guide explains the BDSM triskelion, the BDSM flag, and other icons that represent kink culture and community. Learn their history, meaning, and how they are used today. Why Are Symbols...

The BDSM Rights Flag: Meaning, Colours and History

The BDSM Rights Flag is a symbol designed to represent consent, visibility and recognition for people within the BDSM community. This guide explains its origins, colours, design and how it is used today.

Can I Put Ice in My Ass? Anal Play With Ice Cubes

Experimenting with hot and cold during sex & masturbation can help you discover new ways your body likes to be stimulated, and it’s so easy to do. It’s vital to stay safe in all your explorations though. Sliding ice over your erogenous zones is one thing. But using ice cubes for anal pleasure? I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s idly wondered, ‘Can I put ice in my ass?’

Can You Suck Your Own Tits? Why People Love Nipple Licking

Following on from my popular guide on how to suck your own dick, I thought it would be good to expand to other parts of the body. Maybe you're just curious, or maybe you've already given it a go. The question I’m tackling today is can you suck your own tits? Let’s have a fun but informative, sex-positive look at whether it’s possible, how you can try safely, and why people love to lick their own nipples.

How BDSM Empowers Women to Reclaim Sexual Control and Desire

For women in particular, BDSM can be an affirming space where we explore power on our own terms, breaking out of the boxes society loves to shove us into and where we reclaim our control and desire. Today’s article is the second part of my women's sexuality series, where I explore how BDSM empowers women — and anyone who enjoys feminine expressions of consensual power and submission — no matter your gender or identity in the D/s scene.

Celebrating Women’s Sexuality: Overcoming Shame Through Pleasure

For centuries, women’s sexuality has been silenced, shamed, mocked and dismissed as irrelevant. The Cara Sutra sex blog is my way of being loud and proud about my sexual pleasure, while sharing my experience and advice for the enjoyment of my readers. Today I am specifically focusing on celebrating women’s sexuality, exploring how women of the modern world are fighting shame with pleasure and slowly turning the tide on long-standing myths and stigma.

50 Kinky Tasks to Give Your sub: Domination Inspiration For Dommes

Constantly coming up with new ideas for tasks to set your sub or slave is an ongoing challenge in itself, and can be exhausting. If you feel like you’re out of ideas, low on energy and lacking inspiration, this handy list of 50 tasks to set your sub is exactly what you need.

Bondage Furniture Guide: How to Create Your Own BDSM Dungeon

Today I'm providing a versatile, discreet and pleasurable bondage furniture guide (and other sex accoutrements options) for your home. These options don't necessarily scream "red room of pain" - but with a little creativity, they can be just as thrilling. Whether you're after compact, multi-functional, or simply hidden-in-plain-sight styles, here's how to craft a BDSM dungeon at home even if you don't have as much room as your local fetish club.

Sleeping in Bondage: How to Safely Kink Your Bedtime

Have you ever slept in bondage? Would you? There are some fascinating psychological aspects as to why someone would want to sleep in bondage, as well as important safety considerations to consider. Let’s take a closer look at overnight restraint – and how to safely kink up your bedtime.

Sardax FemDom Art: Exploring Erotic Dominant Women

If you love FemDom, then you’re in for a treat with Sardax FemDom Art. I have an enduring love for these imaginative, inspirational and highly kinky illustrations from globally renowned artist, Sardax. His artistic depictions skilfully combine elements of Female Dominance, sensuality, delicious cruelty and male submission like nothing I’ve found elsewhere.

Dolcett Erotic Art: Vore, Fantasy and Culture

Dolcett art is a subgenre of fetish artwork which is undoubtedly extreme and therefore controversial. It explores themes of vore, cannibalism and extreme BDSM. On the surface, Dolcett artwork is simply shocking, but looking a little deeper we find that the imagery taps into psychological themes of power, control and transgression. This risky and risqué art blurs the line between fascination and fear, in a way which stirs a unique blend of eroticism and excitement for its many fans.

Temperature Play in the Bedroom: Blow Hot and Cold for Pleasure

As the darker nights of autumn and the frosty chill of winter sets in, staying cosy at home and enjoying the romance of candles or fairy lights is extremely appealing. Today I want to share my guide to temperature play in the bedroom, advice which will help you blow hot & cold during sex no matter what the weather is like outside your bedroom window.

How Women Get Pleasure From Pegging and Strap-On Sex

I don’t enjoy a slave’s physical stimulation from being anally pegged, it is more about a display of my power as the Top, a physical conquest of their body as well as their mind, plus there is always a chastity requirement in place with my submissives so they are not allowed to reach or experience orgasm.

Forniphilia: The Human Furniture Fetish

As a Domme of over twenty years, I've enjoyed many sessions dressing and treating my slaves and submissives as human furniture such as footstools and door mats and tables and much more. While it might sound unusual in terms of erotic role play, forniphilia combines elements of submission, objectification, bondage, and ritual in ways that many kink enthusiasts find incredibly erotic. In this guide, I will explain what forniphilia is, why people enjoy it, common types of human furniture play, and how to explore the fetish safely and consensually.

Prostate Milking Guide: P-Spot Pleasure and Health Benefits

Would you like to experience unforgettable, full-body orgasms? Do you have a prostate? In case you didn't know, there's a powerful connection between the two, and as a Domme who's spent a lot of time exploring exactly this with submissive men over the years, I can tell you it's a connection well worth getting acquainted with.

Cannibal Kink: Erotic Vore and Devouring Fantasies

For some, the idea of cannibalism arouses and excites the sexual part of their psyche. Why do some people have a cannibal kink? In this feature, I explore the heart of sexy cannibalism and take a look at what motivates an erotic fascination with the taboo practice of devouring human flesh.

How to Be Dominant Outside the Bedroom: 12 Lifestyle BDSM Tips

What if you and your partner would like a more 'everyday' style of Dom and sub relationship? A consensual power exchange which isn’t limited to kinky play sessions in the bedroom, but enhances every part of your life together? In today’s article I will explore lifestyle BDSM from the Dom’s point of view, revealing how to be Dominant outside the bedroom.