Kinky Sex Advice

Do you have a stale sex life… or simply want to discover how to take your current sex life from 'good' to 'spectacularly breathtaking'? Enjoy learning how to do just that in my kinky sex advice articles here on the Cara Sutra sex blog.

Whether something is kinky or vanilla is completely defined by your own experiences and comfort levels. Sex acts and interests viewed as extreme by one person might be another person’s everyday delight. Most people agree, however, that sex and intimate pleasures which include an element of power exchange are clearly kinky. Power exchange is where someone is, or is role playing as, Dominant, while someone else is, or is role playing as, submissive.

Sexual acts where the word "no" might not always mean "no", and where safewords are instead required, are also regarded as kinky. For example begging your partner to stop spanking you while secretly loving it and hoping they carry on. "No" and "stop" aren’t the safewords, therefore they know to carry on satisfying your kinky desires.

The main aim of kinky sex and BDSM is the pleasure and enjoyment of all involved. The pre-requisite is active consent, throughout. That leaves a lot of scope for kinky activities and shared perverted enjoyment of many fetishes, such as spanking, bondage, chastity, name-calling, hair-pulling, biting, collars and leashes, slavery, cuckoldry, ageplay, objectification and a whole lot more.

Read more about BDSM safewords, the importance of active consent and the hundreds of other kinky sex advice articles here on the blog.

What Is A Female Led Relationship Really Like? The Reality Of Lifestyle FemDom Relationships...

I'm typing this wearing a penis chastity device and I don't get an orgasm until Monday. We haven’t had penetrative sex for a couple of years, but I do get regular beatings depending on how many demerits I’ve clocked up. Oh… and Xena once made me go for 152 days without an orgasm.

Tips For Spring Cleaning Your Sex Life

In a long-term relationship, it’s easy to fall into the trap of comfortable but ultimately monotonous sex with each other. That’s why I wanted to share my top tips for spring cleaning your sex life. While everything else is getting a spring clean, don’t neglect your personal and shared sexual pleasure!

Real-Life Slave Diary: Locked In A Chastity Cage

Are you curious about how it feels to be locked in a chastity cage but you’re too scared or unable to slide the lock home on a device of your own? Perhaps you are locked, teased, but denied in a locked chastity device and want to hear others’ similar experiences for companionship or further torment? These diary entries from my locked-up chastity slave are for you.

BDSM Identities Guide: Are You Dominant, Submissive or Switch?

What are your thoughts on labels? Understandably, many people don’t like to be strictly categorised in this way. We’re all individuals; unique. However, labels do have their place in society as they’re a handy way to quickly describe yourself. The same is true when it comes to the D/s scene.

BDSM Collars: Symbolism & Collaring Ceremonies

BDSM collars are an extremely important visual symbol of submission and ownership. Although bondage collars are also worn simply as a kinky accessory in a play scene, there are plenty of kinksters for whom wearing a BDSM collar signifies a deeper commitment between Dom and sub, Owner and slave, Top and bottom. Some may even take part in collaring ceremonies, a celebratory event which publicly or privately marks the commitment between Dom and sub in a similar way to the vanilla wedding rituals of marriage.

YKINMK: Your Kink Is Not My Kink

There should be no shame or judgement when it comes to safe sexual & kinky activities alone or between consenting adults. However, YKINMK regularly proves itself a relevant and important philosophy.

Turned On By Sniffing Dirty Panties? The Worn Knickers Kink

The scent of a warm, fresh, eagerly aroused pussy is intrinsically sexy. It’s therefore no great surprise that this scent, which can linger on worn underwear, is always in great demand. If you are turned on by sniffing dirty panties, rest assured that you’re not alone. The worn knickers kink is quite common, and I have some personal experience with it too.

What Does BDSM Stand For?

BDSM is an acronym, so each initial stands for a different word. Appropriately, it’s an unusual one: there are three sets of two couplets within this acronym.

BDSM Gear Guide

I've written several 'sexy product' guides here at the Cara Sutra sex blog, advice guides for sex toys, lubes, and specific kinky sex accessories too. Today I'd like to present my big guide to BDSM toys / BDSM gear, where I will help you navigate the enormous and diverse world of kinky toys and tools used to enhance power exchange sessions.

Foot Fetish: When You’re Turned On By Feet

What do you know about foot fetishism? Maybe you've heard rumours of people who fetishize feet, or perhaps you have a foot fetish yourself. Or the concept of having a fetish for feet might be something new to you entirely! In today's BDSM guide, foot fetish 101, I'd like to explore both what this fetish is all about and gain some understanding into the reasons behind foot fetishism.

Mile High Club: How To Fuck On An Aeroplane And Get Away With It

The Mile High Club is a source of endless fascination and speculation. How do people join this exclusive 'club'? More to the point, how do you join the mile-high club and get away with it? Does it even really exist, or are these airborne amorous adventures the stuff of myth and legend?

Complete List of BDSM Fetishes & Kinks (The Periodic Table of Kink)

For those who would like a handy list of BDSM fetishes and kinks, I believe I've found a fantastic resource. The UberKinky Periodic Table of Kink provides an easy to understand, visual representation of the majority of the recognised BDSM activities.

What Are SSC And RACK?

BDSM kinksters have hugely varied kinky interests, fetishes, and types of power exchange relationships. It's unsurprising, then, that there are also various schools of thought and approaches to how the consensual power exchange in D/s relationships is enjoyed. Two of the biggest consensual play templates in BDSM are SSC and RACK. What do these acronyms stand for, what are the main differences, and which one do you feel most comfortable with?

Sexual Foreplay Guide: Hot Pre-Sex Arousal Tips & Ideas

Brilliant sexual foreplay can mean the difference between a stagnant, monotonous sex life and keeping the spice and magic of a relationship alive. Are you stuck for ideas for fantastic before sex arousal and supremely arousing foreplay? Welcome to my comprehensive guide to lovers' arousal techniques: my sexual foreplay 101.

Safe Words And Traffic Lights: How To Say Stop In BDSM

During your explorations of the BDSM world, you may have come across the terms safewords and traffic lights. What are BDSM safe words, and what do traffic lights have to do with the exciting world of power exchange, kink and fetish?  

Female Chastity: Can Women Enjoy Orgasm Denial?

The chastity fetish is a BDSM topic very close to my Mistress heart. I've written plenty about male chastity over the years, as well as a guide to chastity devices and several chastity cage reviews. What about women? Does female chastity exist? And how can women enjoy orgasm denial?

International Male Chastity Day Info Hub

As a proud kinkster and huge fan of the chastity fetish in particular, it gives me great pleasure to share details of an official annual celebration of this highly erotic kink. International Male Chastity Day (also known as International Chastity Day) is celebrated on the 15th February* each year.

Bondage Toys Guide

What can you use to restrain someone (or enjoy being restrained) in bondage? That's where bondage sex toys and bondage accessories come into their own. It helps having some background knowledge of just what's available in terms of bondage equipment, and why it's important to use items specifically designed for bondage rather than any old belt, strap or rope...

Spanking Implements Guide

Spanking is an erotic act between consenting kinksters and lovers. Do you prefer yours OTK (over the knee), strapped face-down to a bench, during sex or in some other fashion? Does the mere thought of a raised Dominant hand, or a spanking toy whistling through the air, stir the tendrils of arousal?

Bondage Beginner’s Guide

Despite Fifty Shades of Grey helping to spotlight the joys of BDSM in the mainstream in recent years, plenty of people have been enjoying the physical, psychological and emotional liberation that the power exchange in D/s role-play offers. Due to the recent sharp rise in mainstream interest, I wanted to share my bondage top tips and advice in this beginner's guide to bondage today. Welcome to my complete bondage 101!