Kinky Sex Advice

Do you have a stale sex life… or simply want to discover how to take your current sex life from 'good' to 'spectacularly breathtaking'? Enjoy learning how to do just that in my kinky sex advice articles here on the Cara Sutra sex blog.

Whether something is kinky or vanilla is completely defined by your own experiences and comfort levels. Sex acts and interests viewed as extreme by one person might be another person’s everyday delight. Most people agree, however, that sex and intimate pleasures which include an element of power exchange are clearly kinky. Power exchange is where someone is, or is role playing as, Dominant, while someone else is, or is role playing as, submissive.

Sexual acts where the word "no" might not always mean "no", and where safewords are instead required, are also regarded as kinky. For example begging your partner to stop spanking you while secretly loving it and hoping they carry on. "No" and "stop" aren’t the safewords, therefore they know to carry on satisfying your kinky desires.

The main aim of kinky sex and BDSM is the pleasure and enjoyment of all involved. The pre-requisite is active consent, throughout. That leaves a lot of scope for kinky activities and shared perverted enjoyment of many fetishes, such as spanking, bondage, chastity, name-calling, hair-pulling, biting, collars and leashes, slavery, cuckoldry, ageplay, objectification and a whole lot more.

Read more about BDSM safewords, the importance of active consent and the hundreds of other kinky sex advice articles here on the blog.

The Hotness Of Body Piercings | List Of Genital Piercings

The Hotness Of Body Piercings

Body piercings, tattoos, or both? Whether you love being pierced or prefer getting inked, body modifications can still be controversial in some circles. Pretty stuffy circles, in my opinion. I'm focusing on the hotness of body piercings today, but I'm all for people celebrating their uniqueness and displaying their creativity through the many various forms of body art.

How To Find A Dominant Partner

So many of the emails I’ve received over the years have been from men looking for BDSM advice. Many men really want to find a Dominant woman to help them realise their kinky fantasies, or encourage their partner to become a Mistress –or alternatively, a female submissive. Did you know that there is an easy way to find a Dominant partner? Read on and I’ll let you in on the secret.  

How To Find Your Perfect BDSM Partner

Compatibility in BDSM relationships is important and should be taken into consideration from the outset. But just how do you go about finding that all too often elusive, but fantastic, kinky match? It can be tricky to find your perfect BDSM partner -and that's an understatement. 

Big Guide To Bondage Sex Toys, & Our Bondage Sex Toy Reviews

What can you use to restrain someone (or enjoy being restrained) in bondage? That's where bondage sex toys and bondage accessories come into their own. It helps having some background knowledge of just what's available in terms of bondage equipment, and why it's important to use items specifically designed for bondage rather than any old belt, strap or rope you happen to have around the house.

Big Guide To Spanking Toys, & Our Spanking Toy Reviews

Spanking is an erotic act between consenting kinksters and lovers. Do you prefer yours OTK (over the knee), strapped face-down to a bench, during sex or in some other fashion? Does the mere thought of a raised Dominant hand, or a spanking toy whistling through the air, stir the tendrils of arousal? You might be wondering which spanking tools are best for effective corporal punishment. Welcome to my big guide to spanking toys, in which you'll also find links to all our spanking toy reviews.

Beginner’s Guide To Bondage | Complete Bondage 101 & Top Tips

Despite Fifty Shades of Grey helping to spotlight the joys of BDSM in the mainstream in recent years, plenty of people have been enjoying the physical, psychological and emotional liberation that the power exchange in D/s role-play offers. Due to the recent sharp rise in mainstream interest, I wanted to share my bondage top tips and advice in this beginner's guide to bondage today. Welcome to my complete bondage 101!

Beginner’s Guide To BDSM | BDSM Tips For Beginners | BDSM 101

The enduring popularity of BDSM cannot be attributed in its entirety to the relatively recent appearance of Fifty Shades Of Grey, no matter how much the media would love for that to be the case. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism are all power exchange activities, either including sex or entirely and deliberately absent of it, which have been practiced for centuries.

Why We Love Sexy Corporal Punishment

I'd like to talk a little more about why we love sexy corporal punishment here today, and how it really hits our spot. Perhaps this intimate revelation will prompt more people out there to accept spanking and similar as being just as 'acceptable' as 'regular' sex antics, instead of mentally filing such habits as perverted, deviant and downright weird.

Introduction to E-Stim & the Electrastim Electro Sex Toys Range

You may or may or may not have heard the term e-stim or electrosex before. It's something that can inspire all sorts of emotions, from curiosity to nervous apprehension. It involves using specialised equipment to stimulate our genitals using electricity. It is a gender-free masturbatory activity that is fun on your own or with a partner.

How To Have A Kinky Valentine’s Day

Even if your plans consist of a couple of hours together tonight, without work or the kids, possibly with a cheeky tipple, a pizza and a DVD, you may be wishing for a more exciting way to spice things up between you and your partner. There is. Read on for some practical & romantic BDSM tips which will teach you how to have a kinky Valentine's Day.

Kink Compatibility In BDSM Relationships

You crave nothing more than her largest strap-on wedged firmly up your ass. She, on the other hand,  insists you spend the day doing the dishes dressed in sissy frills and heels. However, you're not a sissy and she doesn't own any strap on harnesses. How could things have gone so wrong? It's time to talk about kink compatibility in BDSM relationships.

Humiliating Objectification Fantasies: My Love/Hate Relationship

Guilty is the wrong word; I don't feel guilty about any of my pleasures, as P!nk famously said. I feel weird, and wired, and demanding. I have a high-maintenance imagination. Most notably, I have a private love/hate relationship with humiliating objectification –as a kink and as a popular foundation for my most extreme fantasies.

My Domination: Perception Vs Reality

How people perceive my domination, and the reality of it, is something which has fascinated me for some time. You would be amazed at some of the comments directed my way over the years simply for the ways in which I choose to enjoy my natural dominance, as well as how my actively consenting submissives enjoy it, too. Some of these comments are borne from ignorance, some from jealousy, some from malice, and others simply because the person spoke without properly thinking it all through.

Big Guide To Penis Chastity Devices, & Our Chastity Cage Reviews

Whether you’re looking for your first chastity device, or seeking to add a chastity cage to your *ahem* growing collection, it can be baffling when you realise just how many variants are available. This is particularly the case for lock-up fans who don’t have a Keyholder/Mistress/Top to guide them, and simply wish to explore chastity fetish by themselves. Welcome to my big guide to penis chastity devices!

Forced Orgasms – The Flip Side Of Chastity

I love the freedom to touch myself whenever I want –and I make the most of that freedom, as you can see by the thousands of sex toy reviews and erotic articles here on the blog. Chastity is definitely not for me, when I'm the one locked up I mean. How about the flip side of chastity: forced orgasms? There's still the element of external control -but rather than orgasm denial, I would be (consensually, of course) forced to orgasm over and over.

Watersports 101 | Complete Guide To Golden Showers & Piss Play

Does mention of watersports conjure up innocent images of surfing and jet skis -or raise a knowing smirk? For the non-vanilla activity, "golden showers" is probably a more familiar term to most thanks to tabloid coverage of various celebrity/political scandals, as well as good old internet porn.
Understanding Adult Babies And The Adult Baby Fetish

Adult Baby Fetish 101 | Complete Guide To Adult Babies & ABDL

Cards on the table: this is not my kink. Is it yours? As someone with an interest in another area of ageplay, I imagine that the adult baby fetish is viewed as extremely niche and is often misunderstood. Perhaps feared a little –even within the BDSM sphere.

Feminist Femdom! Making Femdom Sustainable

What if - here's a mind blowing thought - Femdom did what it said on the tin? Actually put her - you - in charge? What if Femdom was Feminist in the sense that it was about your emancipation, your agency, your empowerment?

Complete Sensory Deprivation 101 | Guide To Kinky Sensory Deprivation

Ever heard of sensory deprivation? If you have, chances are you’re either up on your psychology* or you’re into bondage. Or both, of course. Sensory deprivation is an enormous turn-on for many in the BDSM scene, but what is it that makes this particular practice so sexy?

Bound To Serve As A Sex Slave

After several months' training, both mental and physical, her slave was able to handle one of her ferocious whippings simply through tears, gritted teeth and with only a few sweary slip-ups. He'd learnt that lesson fast, she thought, her smile widening even further. An extra 5 minutes lashing for every curse he spat in her direction soon had him holding his tongue.