Dildo Reviews

Dildo reviews based on real hands on testing, honest feedback, and how products perform in real use.

Welcome to my Dildo Reviews hub. This is where I publish detailed, independent reviews of dildos across many shapes, sizes, materials and design styles. Every review is based on direct experience, with real use insights, real photos, clear pros and cons, and realistic expectations so you can understand what a product is actually like beyond marketing claims.

This category sits within my wider Sex Toy Reviews hub, where you can explore all stimulation types and product categories.

I have been reviewing sex toys for over 17 years, testing a wide range of brands, materials and construction styles such as silicone, glass, metal and other body-safe options. Reviews are based on structured real use evaluation, not quick impressions, so you can compare products with realistic expectations.

Find out more about safe toy materials, porosity, phthalates and compatible lubes in my Sex Toy Materials Guide.

If you already know what type of dildo you want, use the quick links to jump to the right section. If you are browsing, scroll down to read the latest reviews first, then compare products across size, material, firmness and intended use.

Start Here

If you are new to dildos, begin by exploring the review list below to see how different sizes, shapes and materials feel in real use. If you are comparing specific models, open several reviews and look at differences in firmness, texture, weight, usability and build quality.

Types of Dildos You Will Find Reviewed

This category focuses specifically on non-vibrating insertable toys with realistic and fantasy designs across many styles, including:

  • Realistic dildos designed to mimic anatomical shape and texture
  • Non-realistic and artistic designs with unique forms
  • Double ended dildos for shared or versatile use
  • Strap on compatible dildos for harness play
  • Fantasy and novelty designs
  • Material specific designs including silicone, glass, metal and more

You can also browse related review categories:

How My Reviews Work

I review dildos through real use and structured evaluation, not quick impressions. Reviews include practical notes on size, firmness, texture, usability, weight, cleaning and overall experience. Many reviews also include real photos and non explicit product videos so you can see the item clearly before deciding.

Reviews are based on direct testing rather than manufacturer descriptions, and I update reviews where products change, are replaced, or are discontinued.

How To Browse This Hub

Use the sort menu to view the newest reviews first, then explore different dildo styles to compare designs, materials and performance. If you are researching before buying, pay attention to patterns across reviews such as comfort, durability, realism and ease of cleaning.

Before You Buy

If you want guidance on choosing or using dildos, explore my educational guides for safety, materials and finding the right size and style for your body.

Scroll down to explore the latest dildo reviews in this category.

Disclaimer: this page contains sponsored reviews & affiliate links

Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis Dildo Review

10 out of 10
Ever wondered what a perfect penis looks like? Hankey’s Toys have got the answer. And now so do I, because I've been lucky enough to receive the Hankey’s Toys Perfect Penis Dildo to enjoy, and to review here on the blog...
Sinnovator Cephalopod Tentacle Dildo Review

Sinnovator Cephalopod Tentacle Dildo Review

10 out of 10
Price:
£149.99
Materials:
Silicone
As a fan of ‘creature feature’ and monster-style dildos, I was delighted to be offered the chance to review something from the otherworldly Sinnovator sex toy collection. I chose the glorious purple tentacular delight that is the Sinnovator Cephalopod Dildo!

John Thomas Horny Platinum Silicone Stretcher Review

8 out of 10
Price:
£239.00
Horny is decidedly more abstract of a design than most of the John Thomas Toys range, though the official backstory is that it's the horn of the devil himself. But regardless of the backstory, each ring is a sinful challenge of its own to anyone brave enough to tackle it.

Velvet Thruster Thrusting Dildo Review | Frankie / New Lewis Silicone Top

9 out of 10
For those seeking a portable and affordable alternative to a full-size fucking machine like the Tremor, Sybian or Motorbunny, the Velvet Thruster Thrusting Dildo should be your first consideration. Sure, it’s noisy compared with a standard handheld vibrator, but this isn’t a standard vibe.

John Thomas Pod Platinum Silicone Stretcher Review

10 out of 10
Price:
£239.00
Officially, John Thomas Toys say that “Pod is an alien life form planted on Earth 88 million years ago by an alien race from Zeroth”. In my unofficial and unsanctioned by Games Workshop capacity, I'm calling it a replica of a pure-strain Genestealer’s tongue. And anyone who’s played Warhammer 40k has probably dreamt about being pleasured by a Genestealer at some point in their life. Well, now’s your chance.

John Thomas Arnie’s Extremity Fisting Dildo Review

9 out of 10
You get some respite at the wrist, but the feeling of fullness is akin to an inflatable plug. When you’re ready to continue, you'll find the overall girth grows again quickly, offering an even greater challenge; but at this point, it’s a slow, restrained stretch with no unexpected surprises and a more uniform expansion.

Twisted Beast Bael Bull Dildo Review

10 out of 10
Price:
£89.95
There’s a new term in town for when a sex toy is so gorgeously girthy that it blissfully bulldozes your orgasmic orifices. I’ve been thoroughly bull-dildoed by the huge and horny Twisted Beast Bael, a wickedly monstrous pleasure cock that cows you into submission with zero red flags.
SMALL MR LIMPY REVIEW OF SMALLEST SIZE FLESHLIGHT PACKING DILDO HERO IMAGE

Small Mr Limpy Review: Squishy Soft Fleshlight Packer

9 out of 10
Small Mr Limpy Review: a squishy, soft Fleshlight packer that is comfy for daily, low-profile packing. In this hands-on I cover feel, size, fit and practical care, plus harness tips.
Wildolo Dragon Dildo Review: Large Fantasy Silicone Cock with Suction Cup

Wildolo Dragon Dildo Review

8 out of 10
This is a sex toy brand from HiSmith, who you’ll know from our enthusiastic sex machine reviews. The Wildolo Dragon Dildo is huge, pretty, silicone and has a suction cup base, and spoiler: I love it.

New York Toy Collective Love Bump Vibrating Ball Sack Review

7 out of 10
You can really enjoy the feel of a heavy set of balls slapping against you when you are having a vigorous play session. When I fitted them to a dildo on one of my Fucking Machines it really did hit the spot – there is something so feral about receiving a good pounding and having a heavy set of balls bouncing off your clitoris.

John Thomas Toys Curly Twirly Dildo Review

8 out of 10
Price:
£199.00
Looking for a dildo you can literally screw? John Thomas Toys, purveyors of all kinds of fantasy and monster cocks, has one that might be suitable in the form of the Curly Twirly.

Sinloli Extra Large Sparkly Purple Anal Dildo Review

8 out of 10
Price:
£45.00
Brand:
Sinloli
Shop:
Amazon
Materials:
Silicone
It's silicone, massive, marbled galaxy pink and purple colour, and has sparkly glitter bits in. That's at least four of my boxes on "ultimate dildo design wishlist" ticked right there. But you're probably expecting more of a review than that, so read on!

John Thomas Toys Thingy Bob Multi Cock Head Dildo Review

7 out of 10
Price:
£119.00
What's the best part of a dick? I think we can all agree it's the head. So what could possibly be more satisfying than a dildo with a big dick head on it? That's not a rhetorical question: a dildo with FOUR nice big dick heads on it would obviously be better.

John Thomas Dino Slug XL Silicone Anal Stretcher Review

9 out of 10
Price:
£239.00
In my search for ever more exotic alien and monster cocks to submit to, this week I've found myself on the prehistoric planet of Arrakis. After slipping on a particularly slimy rock, I found myself face to face with this sizeable slug-like entity. Suffice to say, I had no hesitation in dropping my space trousers and allowing it to explore my hole.

John Thomas XTRO Fusion Colour Dildo Review

9 out of 10
XTRO was trying to communicate his dark hunger for me. A series of guttural clicks were followed by a deep angry growl, as he grew impatient for me to understand, let alone reciprocate his need. I tried to scrabble away, but couldn't help myself glancing back to find that wasn't the only thing that was growing. Luminous green drool dripped down his gaping maw, landing on his now huge cock. I froze, but at least I could be confident he didn't want to devour me for dinner.
John Thomas The Twisted Hog Pink Pig Face Butt Plug Review

John Thomas The Twisted Hog Pink Pig Face Butt Plug Review

9 out of 10
I've been enjoying trying out some of the wondrous John Thomas toys recently, as you'll have seen from my recent Skittle Dildo and Buxom Lady dildo reviews. I also chose two butt plugs from the colourful and diverse range; the Sergeant Major butt plug and the item I'll review in full below: the John Thomas The Twisted Hog Pink Pig Face Butt Plug.
John Thomas The Buxom Lady Neon Green Silicone Dildo Review

John Thomas The Buxom Lady Neon Green Silicone Dildo Review

9 out of 10
I've been interested in trying out some of the JTT range for quite a while, especially as they've had rave reviews from resident reviewer Tigerlily. After much deliberating I chose the Skittle dildo, the Buxom Lady dildo, the Sergeant Major butt plug and the Twisted Hog butt plug. This review is for the John Thomas The Buxom Lady Neon Green Silicone Dildo, and I have the medium size in medium firmness.
John Thomas Skittle Yellow Anal Stretcher Dildo Review

John Thomas Skittle Yellow Anal Stretcher Dildo Review

9 out of 10
I decided to choose some John Thomas dildos and plugs to review for myself, and opted for the Skittle dildo, the Buxom Lady dildo, the Sergeant Major butt plug and the Twisted Hog butt plug. This review is for the John Thomas Skittle Yellow Anal Stretcher Dildo, and I have the small size in medium firmness. 

John Thomas Umbungo’s Finger Anal Probe Review

8 out of 10
Who is Umbungo, and why is his finger so unreasonably long? Your guess is as good as mine. But what I can tell you is that his finger feels utterly lovely going up my bum.

John Thomas Woody Purple Silicone Dildo Review

8 out of 10
The John Thomas Toys Woody is aimed at people who, while watching Lord of the Rings, saw the enormous Ents emerge from the forest, and thought to themselves "I wonder what an Ent's cock looks like? I'd love to fuck one and find out".