Ruined Orgasms: How To Ruin An Orgasm (& Why You’d Want To)

Ruined Orgasms: How To Ruin An Orgasm (& Why You’d Want To)

Orgasms are a sublime pleasure enjoyed by billions of sexually interested adults worldwide. While orgasms are not the goal of sex with a partner, they’re often a highlight. Then there are all the orgasms enjoyed by people during solo pleasure sessions – masturbation. Why then, do some people pursue and enjoy a ruined orgasm? What are ruined orgasms? How do you ruin an orgasm, and why on earth would you want to?

What Is A Ruined Orgasm?

A ruined orgasm is an orgasm during which the physical stimulation leading to climax is stopped right at the moment of orgasm. This leads to extreme frustration through what would have been a typical orgasm, but instead, due to the sudden absence of physical stimulation, is a sense of ‘ruined’ orgasm, one which doesn’t feel anywhere near as full or satisfying as one where the stimulation continues throughout.

How Do You Ruin Your Orgasm?

A person may choose to ruin their own orgasm, or have their orgasms ruined by a partner.

You might be into solo ruination, where you stop the self-stimulation during masturbation just as the climax hits, meaning the waves of orgasm simply fizzle out frustratingly.

Or you may choose to experience ruined orgasms during partnered play, in a kinky sex session or during BDSM power exchange role play. Your Dominant might command that you “stop touching yourself immediately!” if they instructed you to masturbate for them, or they could be the one stimulating you manually or with sex toys, stopping just as your arousal tips over the edge.

The piteous cries and body spasms of a submissive enduring the ruination of an orgasm is extremely enjoyable for a sadistic Dominant partner.

Why Do People Enjoy Ruining Their Orgasms?

Ruined orgasms are usually sought out by those with a kinky submissive nature or ‘bottom’ traits. The activity falls within the BDSM realm, as ruining a climax isn’t a typical, or vanilla, sexual pursuit. The kinky fans of ruined orgasms find that the physical sensations endured during the experience aligns with their submissive tendencies.

Most people who are into ruining their orgasms do it as part of power exchange kinky role play, or during a BDSM session. That said, I did know someone who ruined their orgasms every type they masturbated, even without a Dominant or Top involved in their life, simply because it had become a habit and doing it any other way felt ‘wrong’.

As a part of a BDSM power exchange relationship, obeying the command to ruin their own orgasm (or enduring having it ruined by the Top) provides a unique pleasure. The psychological fulfilment which comes from submissive obedience and the masochism of enduring ruined orgasms is greater for them than the physical sensation of a traditional, full orgasm.

A Slave’s Perspective

As part of my further research into ruined orgasms when writing this article, I asked my long-term slave penny for his thoughts on the subject. I hope you enjoy reading what he had to say. Bear in mind that these are the thoughts and feelings of a submissive man entirely into the FemDom aspect of BDSM, therefore his perspective on ruined orgasms is from a ‘hetero sub male submitting to a Dominant woman’ point of view.

As a submissive man, I perceive arousal in a very different way than most men. I see arousal as a form of weakness. From my point of view, that arousal and the person I am being attracted to is inducing that weakness, and therefore achieving power over me.

At some time during my development, the message that sex was bad or even evil, embedded itself in my psyche. Naïve parents, at a time in my past, when I may have commented on sexually explicit images or made inappropriate remarks regarding sex for my age, may have suggested to me that sex was wrong, bad, or even evil and that innocent message has had a permanent effect on my sexuality.

To me, the source of this attraction, the person who arouses me, to whom I am attracted, is in control, very much aware of the effects of that arousal, and is intent on making me weak and under their power.

As is the case with physical attraction, I become focused on the source of that attraction and any sexual arousal stimulated by it tends to intensify.  I become weaker and the conquest of the other party is complete.

Conceptually, a conquered submissive man perceives pleasure, especially sexual pleasure, as not being for him, but solely for his new owner, his Mistress, Goddess, or Master.

The ruined orgasm fits perfectly into this arena. It denies me the pleasure of orgasm and, in so doing, amuses the subjugator, my Owner.

Taking pleasure from my suffering in this way, my Mistress confirms my imperceptible, yet entrenched, belief and need for the instigator of my arousal to be, at least a little, evil.

Ruined orgasms will often be partnered with:

Chastity, in which release through orgasm is retrained and denied, normally physically with a cage for which the victor holds the key. Through which the maintenance of arousal intensifies the exchange of power, as well as:

Cuckoldry, where the sexual pleasure he is completely denied with the ruined orgasm, is flaunted by the victor who will have full, totally fulfilling, and ultimately pleasurable sex with another.

A ruined orgasm is akin to a husband going to a restaurant with his wife and her man friend.

The husband is allowed the appetiser, which achieves just that but is forbidden to partake of any other course.

With a ruined orgasm, I as the submissive male get tantalisingly close to the ultimate pleasure of orgasm but I am denied it by the removal of stimulation at that crucial moment.

When combined with cuckold, not only will I witness the rapture my victor receives from my denied pleasure, but I witness the pleasure they gain from what is denied to me, namely the partaking of the starter, main course, and dessert – whether that be food, or something even more delicious.

In Conclusion

Ruined orgasms are certainly an alternative way to experience sexual arousal and climax, whether they are during masturbation or as part of BDSM power exchange play.

As a Dominant Woman who prefers my submissives and slaves to endure ongoing torment through chastity with tease and denial, I’m loath to permit orgasms of any kind, ruined or not. That said, ruined orgasms can be a useful tool on those occasions where release is necessary for health reasons, permitted as a rare treat, or otherwise deemed to be earned as a privilege.

Often, the small taste of orgasm experienced at the start of a ruined climax can serve to intensify the cruel torture endured by those bound in ongoing chastity after the event. A small taste of forbidden fruit can make further abstinence painfully challenging – which of course delights and entertains a cruel Mistress.

Have you ever experienced a ruined orgasm? Would you dare to try? They’re not for everyone, but with the right nature & encouragement you could unlock a brand-new, tantalising kink.

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