Last Updated on 26 November, 2025 by Cara Sutra
During my years as a sex blogger, plenty of individuals and couples have approached me asking about techniques to help them last longer in bed. I’ve found that people with a penis often experience a lot of anxiety about their bedroom performance, which can lead to a lack of confidence during sex and impact upon an otherwise healthy, happy sex life. With this in mind, I wanted to discuss some tried and tested edging techniques for penis-owners, which can be practised to help gain better control over their orgasm and improve stamina during sex with a partner. This edging technique is also called the ‘start and stop method’.
What Is Edging?
Edging is a technique in which a person stops themselves from reaching climax just before they experience their personal pleasure peak. This method has been reported to help some people who struggle with premature ejaculation. In short, this involves stopping stimulation before you orgasm, waiting for a few seconds then starting again. Continue stopping and starting until you feel mentally ready to orgasm. This technique can be effective for everyone, regardless of gender.
Some people find they enjoy edging more than the eventual orgasm – in fact, I know several people who have a definite kink for it. Edging can be enjoyed (if that’s the right word) along with penis chastity -with or without a chastity cage, and with or without a Keyholder– to greatly enhance the mental and physical stimulation felt through staying chaste and being teased through orgasm denial.
Are There Any Benefits?
Experimenting with new bedroom techniques, positions and sensations is a great way to ensure your sex life remains healthy and varied. It’s easy to discount masturbation as not really part of your ‘sex life’, but don’t make that mistake – exploring new solo sexual ventures keeps things fresh and exciting. You’re worth it! The edging technique helps you to listen to your body and experiment with different ways to help intensify your eventual orgasm and improve bedroom stamina when you do want to get intimate with a partner.
What are the main benefits of practising edging during masturbation as well as partnered sex?
Greater Physical Arousal
There are four different stages to arousal – Excitement, Plateau, Orgasm and Resolution. Exploring the four stages of arousal will help you understand more about the first two stages of arousal, so that they last longer and extend your sexual pleasure.
Increased Confidence In The Bedroom
As you begin to master the edging technique, you will feel more in control of your own body. For those using edging techniques as part of a couple, the ability to last longer can help satisfy even the most insatiable partner. Also, holding back from orgasming too early could enable couples to orgasm together if simultaneous orgasms happens to be one of your sexual goals*. Discovering new longevity in the bedroom and spending more time during sexual intimacy together will result in a more fulfilling experience for both of you.
Control Over Ejaculation
Some people feel that they orgasm prematurely, which can leave them feeling unfulfilled and/or embarrassed. As many as 1 in 5 penis-owners will experience premature ejaculation at some point within their lifetimes, which can damage confidence in the bedroom and impact on personal relationships. Developing edging techniques are a natural way to last longer during sex without seeking professional help.
Enhanced Couple’s Play With Teasing
Edging can be a highly erotic, playful tease for both partners – depending on the setting and your sexual preferences/kinks.
For example, lots of people love to watch their partner orgasm. Try ‘denying’ them their voyeuristic thrill by stopping close to the point of climax, and holding off from starting again for a few moments. Only orgasm when you (or they) absolutely can’t take it any more. Begging is totally optional (but hot).
Or perhaps you’re the one watching, and you’d love to take control and be ‘in charge’ of when they can orgasm. Watch for signs they’re getting close, and sternly insist upon ‘hands off!’ at the right moment. This may take quite a bit of practice, but will result in a highly thrilling and erotically charged atmosphere, leading to an unforgettable intimate session.
Edging can help you both discover kinks you never knew you had, as well as providing sexual performance longevity and physical/mental health benefits.
How Can You Practice The ‘Edge’ Technique?
Because you need to focus on your own physical sensations, I advise practising edging during masturbation first of all, without a partner present, so you can concentrate on the task in hand (literally). This means that you will need allocate some time when you know you won’t be disturbed.
- Start by setting the scene and use your normal methods for self-arousal.
- Begin masturbation. But instead of using a firm grip, be gentler so that you can build up to a climax slowly while focusing on recognising when you’re about to orgasm.
- As soon as you feel that you’re about to climax, stop what you are doing and take a short break until the urge to orgasm has totally gone. For those who are just beginning to practice this technique, it is better to pause too early than too late. You can always explore boundaries later, when your experience grows.
- Begin masturbation again and repeat the process. Do this several times until you are ready to climax. Once you have orgasmed, make a mental note of the way that it made you feel. Did the orgasm last longer, did it feel stronger in intensity and/or more enjoyable?
Edging is a very personal experience and how long you choose to practice this technique will differ from person to person. There’s no right or wrong length of practice time. Do what feels good and make the most of the experience. If you accidentally go too far and orgasm before you wanted to, don’t worry – just put it down to experience. It certainly isn’t the worst accident to have!
Can You Use Sex Toys To Edge?
There are lots of penis-stimulating sex toys which can be used to improve edging and make it more effective.
Penis strokers (static or vibrating), cock rings and sex dolls are all effective methods of stimulation that enable the user to masturbate, then reduce stimulation when necessary.
Lots of vibrating sex toys offer multi-speed vibration which can be reduced in intensity when you feel yourself reaching the peak, whilst handheld sex toys enable the user to control the firmness of pressure and the speed of stroke.
It is important to remember that in order to get the best results with a penis-stimulating sex toy, it’s a good idea to use sex lube to reduce friction & aid glide. In addition, thoroughly clean your sex toys after each use to help avoid build-up of bacteria.
Are There Any Risks?
Whilst there are no actual risks to practising the edging technique. Some beginners have reported that they have experienced a ‘disappearing orgasm’ or a ‘half orgasm’. These can feel unfulfilling** and like you have ‘missed’ the climax. If this is the case, it may be that you are stopping too early. With some patience and a little more practice, you will master the technique.
Where To Get Extra Help With Sexual Health Problems
Sexual dysfunction or premature ejaculation can be debilitating and place strain on your relationship. If you are worried, please speak to your GP and ask to be referred for specialist help. These conditions are very normal and treatable so please do not suffer in silence.
*Don’t fall into the trap of seeing simultaneous orgasms as the ultimate sexual achievement, despite them being a regular feature in adult media such as books, movies and porn. Most people don’t orgasm, at the same time as their partner – I certainly don’t – and there’s nothing wrong with that. More on this subject in my related post: Simultaneous Orgasms During Sex – Are They Important?
**In BDSM, this is one type of ‘ruined orgasm’ which many compatible kinksters ‘enjoy’ during solo stimulation or as part of a partnered power exchange session.
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