Why I Love Locking Men’s Cocks In Chastity Cages

Why I Love Locking Men’s Cocks In Chastity Cages

Sexual pleasure is so… well, pleasurable. One of the main perks of being a sexually interested adult is the freedom to indulge in sex or masturbation any time I like. Why then, do some people enjoy locking away their genitals to actively prevent any physical pleasure? Why do some people hand over total chastity control of their genitals to another person? And why do I love locking men’s cocks in chastity cages so much? Am I just an out-and-out, despicably cruel, evil bitch?

Well, yes.  But also, chastity as part of enjoyable power exchange in BDSM is a consensual, globally popular activity. If you’re not sure what chastity is or how to ‘do it’, you can read up on this kinky topic in my other chastity advice guides & free erotic chastity stories:

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• Beginner’s Guide to Chastity
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• Real-Life Chaste Slave Diary
• Chastity Story Pt 1: Her Icy Response 
• Chastity Story Pt 2: Unlocking & Orgasm

Recommended: Visit & bookmark the Total Chastity blog for varied insightful articles covering such topics as benefits of male chastity, how to put on a cock cage, what to expect during your first week in lock-up, female led relationships and permanent chastity revelations & top tips.

Whether you’re new to the world of chastity or a locked cock afficionado, you might be wondering how someone can gain pleasure and fulfilment from locking away another person’s genitals – even when it’s all consensual and at their (usually, pitifully begging) request. Today I’ll explain why I love locking men’s cocks in chastity cages, providing a rare insight into the enjoyment and intense sexual pleasure a Dominant Woman can gain from this popular kink.

In this article I describe chastity from a Femdom point of view, ie. my own perspective as a Domme, locking a man’s cock into a chastity cage. However, chastity is enjoyed by a wide variety of kinky partners around the world. Chastity devices exist for whatever genitals you might have, and the roles of Dominant/Keyholder and sub/slave/bottom could be people of any gender or sexuality. Because male chastity as part of Femdom is my personal experience and preference, that’s what I’ll be talking about here today – but it shouldn’t be viewed as the ‘norm’ or the ‘only way’ to enjoy BDSM or chastity.

Why I love locking cocks in chastity devices

As it is the submissive’s cock which is being locked into a chastity device, and on the receiving end of any tease and denial associated with chastity as well as having their key held by a Keyholder, it would be easy to think that the Dominant involved is merely providing a service. That the Domme gets nothing from the situation psychologically or sexually, and that they are simply fulfilling a role. I can only speak for myself, so while that may be true for some women, it certainly isn’t the case for me.

Here are some of the ways in which I experience intense pleasure and arousal by locking cocks in chastity:

It’s a natural progression after building a connection

When I lock a submissive or slave into a chastity cage, the psychological bond I have with that person, the D/s relationship, is important. I’m not interested in locking just any old cock into a device, there needs to be a kink compatibility, mutual respect and trust built between the submissive and I. Therefore, I don’t accept chastity keys from simply anyone. I have found that this fact works well for my submissives and slaves, too, because they benefit from a Domme/Keyholder who is genuinely interested in and will toy with their locked chastity situation rather than doing it simply from a sense of obligation while actually being disinterested.

Yes, neglect is also a kink, but at the heart of the neglect kink there is a genuine interest, care and connection.

I enjoy their fear

Once a sub/slave and I have established a good D/s connection with the respect and trust that requires, I find that I naturally progress to wanting that submissive to be locked in a chastity device. I enjoy the full control that comes with having the keys to a locked cage in my possession, and all the additional fun that comes as part of cock chastity. Their apprehension, the fear and the fact they will lock and hand over the keys anyway, their reaction to being locked without any access to freedom, and the ensuing tease and denial.

I benefit from their enhanced attitude & behaviour

Another benefit I enjoy as the keyholding Dominant is the change in a sub’s attitude and behaviour once they’re locked in a device. I have found that they generally become more attentive, respectful, and polite. Having their cock locked away and being unable to achieve erection never mind orgasm really focuses their mind on me as their Domme, the only one who can grant freedom and sexual relief.

I relish the satisfaction of conquest

Holding the keys to my sub or slave’s chastity cage feels victorious for me, as a woman. There is the potent symbolism which is connected to the phallus in our persistently patriarchal world. The penis is often central to a man’s ego and identity, his masculinity and sense of power. There is a whole lot of history relating to the phallus, and historic phallocentric art, which I won’t go into in this article, but which you can read about elsewhere such as on Wikipedia, the Guardian and in this fascinating essay.

Therefore, it is extremely arousing and satisfying as a woman, and as a Dominant woman in particular, to not only consensually lock away this part of a man’s anatomy, but also to hold the keys to his phallic freedom and any sexual relief.

It appeals to my sadistic side

As a Domme, I’m a cruel Bitch – and I enjoy being a Bitch, too. The sadistic side of me thoroughly enjoys a locked up submissive’s ongoing struggle with their chastity device. It can be a real challenge, particularly for a sub who is new to chastity, to accept this unfamiliar situation, to be able to sleep in the chastity cage… and hearing of their torment waking up in the mornings locked in their chastity device brings me a unique sadistic pleasure.

As the locked chastity continues, I enjoy every renewed realisation that they’re unable to have an erection or an orgasm. Of course, being a cruel and evil Bitch, I heighten the sub/slave’s torment with frequent teasing, whether by words, images or demanding that they perform in various perverted ways for me in person.

Their submission is guided to new depths

As well as the delightful physical aspects of consensual cruelty and masochism, I gain fulfilment from the psychological aspects of controlling cocks in chastity. The combination of being physically locked in the device, my total control, and the strengthened mental and emotional bond throughout, means the locked submissive is forced to confront their submission head on. They may have never felt this depth of submission before, and being the one to guide them to these new depths, in a safe, sane and consensual while still fun and torturously cruel way, is exquisite.

Being SSC enables assertive Dominance

I have written previously about safe, sane and consensual/SSC BDSM practice. This is the type of BDSM I do. I always set a safeword, and traffic lights are always ‘in play’. This means that any activity, including locked chastity, can be done without worry that I’m going ‘too far’ or that I’m breaching the limits of my sub/slave.

SSC chastity means that, for me as a Domme, I can be fully assertive with how I control my chaste submissive, instead of tentative which could spoil the atmosphere or intensity of play. From my sub/slave’s point of view, SSC chastity means that they can feel the full force of my bitchy cruelty – but importantly, there is an ‘out’, a way to immediately stop, if required.

SSC BDSM practice and having safewords/traffic lights in play lets both Domme and sub engage in locked chastity or your choice of kinky activity fully, while making sure all involved remain happy, comfortable and safe both physically and psychologically. It can mean the difference between a spectacular D/s relationship and someone being badly broken in a power exchange disaster.

No sexual contact suits me perfectly

Male chastity/penis chastity is a kink that I enjoy and one I personally become aroused by – but handily it’s also a no sexual contact kink from my point of view, which suits my requirements. Of course, any kink or BDSM practice could contain as much sexual contact as both partners prefer, but my Dominance in the BDSM scene comes with a ‘no sexual contact’ rule attached.

Locked chastity is great for this, as the physical focus is on their caged genitals, their denied libido and the guidance and teasing from my perspective is heavily psychological with a sprinkling of visual teasing if I’m feeling generous. They do not get to touch my body, they only see parts of my body that I allow, when I allow it. They don’t even get to sexually handle their own genitals, achieve an erection or have an orgasm, never mind engage in sexual pleasure with their Keyholder!

For me and my compatible submissives/slaves, chastity is very much a psychological connection with physical highlights such as the ongoing sex drive vs locked chastity cage struggle, and the deep dive exploring their submission.

Choosing the right chastity cage

Buying a suitable chastity cage for yourself (or in conjunction with your soon-to-be-locked submissive) is so important. The two main aspects to consider before purchasing a chastity device are:

• The size of the chastity device
• The style of the chastity device

If you don’t select the right size, the device will either be too loose and unsuitable when you’re trying to achieve the intense pleasure of sadistic/masochistic locked up chastity play, or too tight and non-consensually painful/uncomfortable once locked around the cock and balls. This could easily become a physical risk, so research, careful measuring and remeasuring is crucial before you invest.

What do I mean by the right style of chastity device? Well, chastity cages are made from various materials and there is a wide assortment of designs. Some completely envelop the penis, while others leave the penis tip exposed or the shaft and head are visible through the frame. There are chastity cages made from flexible silicone, rigid plastic or completely unyielding metal. Read more about the type of chastity device and the difference between cage materials in this handy Beginners Guide To Chastity Devices.

Carefully consider the locking mechanism too. Metal padlocks look alluringly fierce, and feel satisfyingly solid, but may only be suitable when Domme and sub can regularly be in close proximity. For long-distance cocks in chastity D/s, numbered plastic tags may be more suitable as they are tamper-proof but can be removed in an instant if permitted or required. Also available online are app-controlled chastity cages as well as app-controlled safes which could house the chastity cage key until whenever the Domme decides to release it.

Where to buy your cock cages

My recommended penis chastity device stores are totalchastity.com (great for readers in the United States) and lockthecock.co.uk (ideal for readers in the United Kingdom).

Check them out & discover a fantastic selection of well-made & reliable chastity devices, plus get invaluable advice on measuring up for the perfect fit, fire up your imagination with creative chastity games and enjoy some sizzling chastity-based erotic stories.

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