Kinky Sex Advice

Do you have a stale sex life… or simply want to discover how to take your current sex life from 'good' to 'spectacularly breathtaking'? Enjoy learning how to do just that in my kinky sex advice articles here on the Cara Sutra sex blog.

Whether something is kinky or vanilla is completely defined by your own experiences and comfort levels. Sex acts and interests viewed as extreme by one person might be another person’s everyday delight. Most people agree, however, that sex and intimate pleasures which include an element of power exchange are clearly kinky. Power exchange is where someone is, or is role playing as, Dominant, while someone else is, or is role playing as, submissive.

Sexual acts where the word "no" might not always mean "no", and where safewords are instead required, are also regarded as kinky. For example begging your partner to stop spanking you while secretly loving it and hoping they carry on. "No" and "stop" aren’t the safewords, therefore they know to carry on satisfying your kinky desires.

The main aim of kinky sex and BDSM is the pleasure and enjoyment of all involved. The pre-requisite is active consent, throughout. That leaves a lot of scope for kinky activities and shared perverted enjoyment of many fetishes, such as spanking, bondage, chastity, name-calling, hair-pulling, biting, collars and leashes, slavery, cuckoldry, ageplay, objectification and a whole lot more.

Read more about BDSM safewords, the importance of active consent and the hundreds of other kinky sex advice articles here on the blog.

What Are Dental Dams? A Beginner's Guide & Safe Oral Sex Tips

What Are Dental Dams? Where & Why Would You Use Them?

Dental dams aren’t overly expensive and they can be bought discreetly online. In addition, they’re slightly larger than condom packets but still flat, so you could keep a couple in your wallet or handbag when you go out.

Kinky Rape Fantasies & Rapeplay

It’s come to my attention recently that certain folks are against people having their fantasies and acting them out, consensually, with their adult partner(s). Rape fantasy, to be specific. Now, I’ve taken this a little bit personally, as rape fantasy is a very important part of my sex life - a very enjoyable part of my fantasy and real life.

Vorarephilia: The Cannibalism Fetish

Now here's an entirely new spin on the phrase “eating out”! Perhaps you’ve heard of vore but you’re not sure what it is. Vorarephelia is a fetish, and those who find themselves aroused by the idea of eating, or being eaten by, a person. Not in the literal eating of people, but more of a cannibalism fetish. Dolcett Girls falls under the vore kink category.

Kinky Wax Play 101 | Beginner’s Guide To BDSM Waxplay & Top Tips

BDSM Waxplay is the sensual art of using the heat of dripped wax on to the flesh in order to stimulate the body and mind. It provokes a harmonious physical and psychological reaction, which dips one toe into the alluring world of erotic sadism and masochism. In that regard, it's not unlike spanking.

Fucking Myself With High Heels: Is It Safe?

Fucking Myself With High Heels: Is It Safe? Dear Cara, I have quite a worrying obsession with my girlfriend's shoes. She doesn't know, but every time she's out and I'm left in the house I have...

Can I Stop Being Kinky?

I honestly believe it's naive to think you can just switch off your kinkiness for all time. You may be leaving BDSM when it comes to the community, you can get rid of your implements and finish any D/s relationships, but being a kinkster is simply too much a part of a person's character. It's up to you if you decide to act on those kinky impulses in your life or not.