Kinky Sex Advice

Do you have a stale sex life… or simply want to discover how to take your current sex life from 'good' to 'spectacularly breathtaking'? Enjoy learning how to do just that in my kinky sex advice articles here on the Cara Sutra sex blog.

Whether something is kinky or vanilla is completely defined by your own experiences and comfort levels. Sex acts and interests viewed as extreme by one person might be another person’s everyday delight. Most people agree, however, that sex and intimate pleasures which include an element of power exchange are clearly kinky. Power exchange is where someone is, or is role playing as, Dominant, while someone else is, or is role playing as, submissive.

Sexual acts where the word "no" might not always mean "no", and where safewords are instead required, are also regarded as kinky. For example begging your partner to stop spanking you while secretly loving it and hoping they carry on. "No" and "stop" aren’t the safewords, therefore they know to carry on satisfying your kinky desires.

The main aim of kinky sex and BDSM is the pleasure and enjoyment of all involved. The pre-requisite is active consent, throughout. That leaves a lot of scope for kinky activities and shared perverted enjoyment of many fetishes, such as spanking, bondage, chastity, name-calling, hair-pulling, biting, collars and leashes, slavery, cuckoldry, ageplay, objectification and a whole lot more.

Read more about BDSM safewords, the importance of active consent and the hundreds of other kinky sex advice articles here on the blog.

Just An Hour

It was just an hour from when I got her message to when I arrived. Just an hour. Now, looking back, it seems almost impossible that there was just an hour of intermission between my old life to my new reality.

Chastity Cage Keyholding Services

By Cara Sutra: I've written various articles on the subject. What I get out of locking a guy up in a chastity cage. Female chastity. Slaves have written their experiences, and there are several chastity device reviews. This year, I'm focusing on Keyholding services.

Watching My Boyfriend Suck Another Man’s Cock

His mouth, with all its masculine bearded surround, enveloping the cock tip. My boyfriend's lips forming the O around the collar of his friend's dick, as if it were second nature. I moistened my own lips, as if in readiness. I could almost taste and feel every millimetre for myself, so familiar were the actions. I've sucked cock a thousand times and know the tricks. What I didn't know was that I'd been giving my boyfriend lessons.

What Are Limits In BDSM?

What are BDSM limits? And, in a BDSM relationship, is pushing limits OK? Or should both partners just find out what makes them tick and keep right on doing those things without moving the goalposts?

Chastity Release – Unlocking & Orgasm

By Cara Sutra: He looked up at me from where he knelt on the kitchen floor, a solitary tear running down his defeated face. That just caused my cunt to become wetter in beautifully cruel empathy. Finally, he’d completed the distasteful task. His expert tongue protruded, but not out of rudeness or as a plea for pussy. On the tip was a small, very shiny key.

Chastity Release – Her Icy Response

Tilting his chin up so I could look into his embarrassed face properly, I relished the fight between humiliation, hate and the most intense arousal in his eyes. My other hand reached down and felt the weight of his chastity locked cock in my hands. He jumped as my cool hands came into contact with his hot straining balls under the metal device.

How To Be More Dominant In The Bedroom

By Cara Sutra: This week’s anonymous advice-hunter needs some tips to become a more dominant woman in the bedroom, which will turn both her and her partner on.

Puppy Play: The Human Pups Kink

I don't have a kink for pretending to be a dog. I'm not even a 'dog person'. However, the national furore surrounding people who want to be a human puppy this week really made my hackles rise. The cause of the outrage? TV shows giving an insight into the puppy play scene and/or fetish, including a Channel 4 documentary entitled The Secret Life Of The Human Pups.

What Do Dommes Fantasise About?

By Cara Sutra: Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if you were completely submissive to me. My mind tends to stray towards a sexual kinky fantasy - a Domme's fantasy. They're not talked about much, right? Usually all eyes are on the submissive - the submissive male, in the majority of FemDom - but what does a Domme dream about?

Bondage Hogties Guide

The favourite bondage hogtie piece I have in my own collection is the Shots Media Ouch! Wrist and Legcuffs Restraints, which isn't readily available in the UK any more but you can take a look at my review here. There are definitely other, good quality bondage hogties you can purchase to give you the session you desire, however.

Sex And Religion: Perverting Religious Symbolism

Of course, it’s Easter, which is the Christian festival most associated with ‘fertility rituals’ and symbols that are not really that Christian at all – though there is still no agreement, let alone any proof, as to which specific ancient pagan feast inspired the annual celebration of eggs, bunnies, flowers and binging on chocolate. I wish you all joy and delight in the springtime, whether your bunnies are battery-powered or the sort that moan with joy when you wrap them up in rope, and if you want to mark the occasion by eating a Creme Egg off your favourite playmate’s naughty bits then go right ahead.

No Limits Slaves In BDSM

Are there any true no limits slaves in BDSM? Do zero limits submissives exist? We can't even blame 50 Shades of Grey for the idea of 'absolute submission', because it's been around for at least 30 years. And, while Anastasia Steele might be a vacant fumbletrumpet who appears to have reached adulthood without even knowing what an email is, she does dump Creepy Christian more than once and even answers back from time to time.

Dominant Women Who Love Sucking Cock

By Zak Jane Keir: Do Dominant women love sucking cock? Would a dominant woman ever suck her partner’s cock? It doesn’t seem to fit the best-known dynamics of femdom, after all: the male slave/sub of many fantasy and widely-acknowledged scenarios exists to serve his Mistress in mostly not-particularly erotic ways, such as housework, errand-running and being beaten for sins both real and invented on the spot.

Total Power Exchange (TPE)

By Cara Sutra: I have a weakness for submissives who are firmly in the slave category of BDSM. I love total power exchange. I'm not the kind who gets off simply on Femdom sessions with a guy acting sub, tending to his fantasies for an hour then getting back to ‘normal’ roles. Much preferred is the day-to-day reality of being a Dominant woman to a 100%-of-the-time submissive man.

Sploshing: The Wet And Messy Fetish (WAM)

Sploshing. Say sploshing to most people on the street and they won’t know what you’re on about (they'll also give you a wide berth for randomly talking in their face). Sploshing in puddles? Get your wellies on and go for a run through the muddy woods after a good downpour? Erm, nope.

Electrosex & Electro Sex Toys Guide

You will need a main unit (known as the stimulator) to deliver the electric current. These are usually the basis of a starter kit, such as the ElectraStim Flick EM60-E Electro Stimulation Pack. This stimulator offers 24 intensity settings so you can increase the power in line with your desires. There is also the option to receive or deliver to a partner rhythmic stimulation in line with the movement of your hand. The ElectraStim Flick costs just £99 and comes with full instructions and electro pads so that you can get started right away. The ElectraStim SensaVox EM140 High Spec Stimulator (£299) is for those looking for a more advanced kit and experience. Not only are there an amazing 99 intensity levels, there’s also 9 pre-programmed patterns to enjoy. You can use SensaVox to create sophisticated stimulation patterns using either the included microphone or by feeding audio directly into the stimulator. The soundwaves are translated into a stimulation beat that rises and falls in sympathy with the audio, teasing and tantalising you with sensations that can be modified to match your desires.

What Is Urethral Sounding? How To Use Penis Sounds

Once you're ready, lube up the sound (and the end of your penis) and slowly slide the tip in. Once in, keep hold of both the sound and your penis, then slowly allow gravity to pull the sound deeper. Once you're at the base of the penis, stop for a moment and slowly pull the sound out, ever so gently. This is approximately where the best sensations are to be found.

The Time I Made Him Make Me Safe Out

It hurts SO much. Is this all I can take? Would someone else be able to take more? Am I being a wuss? I want him to be proud of me. It hurts. Fuck, that hurts so much. Ok I am going to say red. Any minute now…

Penis Chastity: A Beginner’s Guide To Locking Up Your Cock

Welcome to my big beginner's guide to penis chastity and male chastity play! So, you want to try a chastity device? Or maybe your partner wants you to wear one? Perhaps you’re reading this as you want your partner to wear one for you. Whatever your reason is for being here, you’re doing the right thing!
What Are Dental Dams? A Beginner's Guide & Safe Oral Sex Tips

What Are Dental Dams? Where & Why Would You Use Them?

Dental dams aren’t overly expensive and they can be bought discreetly online. In addition, they’re slightly larger than condom packets but still flat, so you could keep a couple in your wallet or handbag when you go out.