Cara Sutra Sex Blog

Sex advice, pleasure guides, erotic stories and intimacy insights - all in one place.

Welcome to my main blog hub on Cara Sutra. This is where my guides, personal essays, relationship reflections, sex advice, erotic fiction, kink-aware discussions and behind-the-scenes posts all live together, in date order. If you landed here from search and you are looking for real-world, sex positive writing that does not talk down to you, you are in the right place. This archive brings together decades of writing across sexuality, relationships, pleasure and personal experience, with hundreds of articles spanning sex, intimacy and real-life experience.

Sex Advice, Pleasure Guides and Real-Life Intimacy

This category gathers my non-review content across sexuality, confidence, communication and connection. Some posts are practical and straight to the point, others are personal and reflective, and some are sensual and story-led. The goal is the same: to help you explore pleasure and intimacy in a way that feels safe, informed, and actually doable in real life.

What You Can Expect From the Cara Sutra Blog

  • Practical sex advice and how-to guides you can use without needing a handbook and a spotlight
  • Pleasure education grounded in anatomy, consent and real experience, not judgement or performance
  • Intimacy and relationship insights - communication, desire shifts, libido wobbles, and everything in between
  • Kink-aware, consent-forward discussions that keep emotional safety in the frame
  • Sensual and erotic stories exploring fantasy, desire and emotional intimacy
  • Personal essays and honest life updates when the story behind the advice matters

Where To Start

Not sure what you are after yet? Here are a few simple ways to explore.

  • For practical help, look for guide-style posts with clear steps and takeaways
  • Personal essays and relationship reflections are a good place to begin when you want connection or reassurance
  • Curious about kink? Start with posts focused on consent, communication, power dynamics and emotional aftercare
  • Prefer to explore freely? Scroll and follow whatever catches your attention - there are plenty of rabbit holes here

My Approach

I write from lived experience, with warmth and straight talk, and I don't pretend sex is one-size-fits-all. Bodies vary. Histories vary. Energy, confidence, hormones, disability, stress, trauma, ageing, parenting, identity - it all shows up in intimacy, whether we want it to or not.

This blog focuses on the real version of sexuality, not the polished one.

Featured Topics

Browse sex advice, pleasure guides, erotic stories and relationship topics to jump straight to what interests you most.


Scroll down to read the latest posts from the Cara Sutra blog and discover new ideas, insights and intimate conversations.

Bondage Hogties Guide: How and Why to Hogtie Safely

The favourite bondage hogtie piece I have in my own collection is the Shots Media Ouch! Wrist and Legcuffs Restraints, which isn't readily available in the UK any more but you can take a look at my review here. There are definitely other, good quality bondage hogties you can purchase to give you the session you desire, however.

Cunnilingus Doesn’t Work for Me: Living in a Body That Refuses to Conform

Today, I want to sit in the uncomfortable truth of the matter. And I’m inviting you to sit with me, as I gather my thoughts on what it’s like to be a woman who doesn’t achieve peak sexual satisfaction from lips and tongue, no matter how skilled they may be.

Sex and Disability: Intimacy, Desire, and Pleasure When Bodies Have Limits

This piece was written by a previous version of me, one who had higher libido, non-progressive deafness, and who didn’t yet know what it was like to live with chronic illness. It was before I moved into perimenopause, before I suddenly developed M.E. What follows is my early exploration into sex and disability, motivated by kindness and curiosity and a desire to create a place which resonates with anyone affected. I now count myself among that number.

Anal Sex Toys Guide: Finding The Best Butt Plug For You

Bums. Everyone has one, and very useful they are too. Our undervalued derrières not only house the exit which keeps our bodies functioning healthily, but offer comfortable padding when we need to take the weight off our feet. Did you realise that your bottom also has the potential to give you incredible pleasure, as well as a mere sigh of relief any time you sit down?

Sex and Religion: Exploring Erotic Religious Symbolism

Of course, it’s Easter, which is the Christian festival most associated with ‘fertility rituals’ and symbols that are not really that Christian at all – though there is still no agreement, let alone any proof, as to which specific ancient pagan feast inspired the annual celebration of eggs, bunnies, flowers and binging on chocolate. I wish you all joy and delight in the springtime, whether your bunnies are battery-powered or the sort that moan with joy when you wrap them up in rope, and if you want to mark the occasion by eating a Creme Egg off your favourite playmate’s naughty bits then go right ahead.

No Limits Slaves in BDSM: What It Means and Risks Involved

Are there any true no limits slaves in BDSM? Do zero limits submissives exist? We can't even blame 50 Shades of Grey for the idea of 'absolute submission', because it's been around for at least 30 years. And, while Anastasia Steele might be a vacant fumbletrumpet who appears to have reached adulthood without even knowing what an email is, she does dump Creepy Christian more than once and even answers back from time to time.
Dominant Women Who Love Sucking Cock

Dominant Women Who Love Sucking Cock

By Zak Jane Keir: Do Dominant women love sucking cock? Would a dominant woman ever suck her partner’s cock? It doesn’t seem to fit the best-known dynamics of femdom, after all: the male slave/sub of many fantasy and widely-acknowledged scenarios exists to serve his Mistress in mostly not-particularly erotic ways, such as housework, errand-running and being beaten for sins both real and invented on the spot.

Total Power Exchange in BDSM: What TPE Really Means

In this guide to Total Power Exchange in BDSM, I explore what TPE really means beyond the fantasy image. From my own perspective as a Domme, it’s about more than scenes or sessions - it’s the reality of living in a relationship where control, obedience, and power are fully surrendered.

Fulfilling Our Hotel Threesome Fantasy

The noises coming from the girls now could make you come just to hear it. It was making my cock surge and pulse listening to them enjoy each other so much. Letting my cock spring free of my boxers, I manoeuvred myself so I was behind the pair of them. I used Raven’s waist to steady me, my hands on her sensational curves, occasionally putting a hand down to guide me in. I needed to be inside my girl first.

Girl date: The first fuck is the sweetest

I slipped first the tip of my index finger inside her pussy, then my middle finger alongside it. Slowly and gently at first, I finger fucked her while my tongue danced over and around her clit...

Reclaiming his territory

He moved on his side to face me, both of us on top of the bed. His nose almost touching mine. There’s no argument which could ever be brooked with those dark eyes, brooding doesn’t even come close. Determined? Of course. Expectant. Dominant. In control. To be obeyed without question or hesitation. To stare into them means to know this is what you really want, to know your own mind and be strong enough to go where it and he leads. I'm proud enough to face those eyes openly and without hiding or running. They were out of focus range, suddenly… and his mouth was on mine, tasting and invading. The first penetration.

Pretty When I Cry

Raising my hips in the usual way I can easily slip just the end of his still hard cock inside my incredibly wet cunt. Sucking him and making him cum hard down my throat always turns me on so much that my inner thighs are a sticky mess of arousal. I lean down to kiss him, my mouth still awash with the taste of his cum - but he loves the taste. It makes him kiss me all the more passionately, his tongue sweeping around my mouth, exploring, relishing every last remnant of his cum...

The Fuck Feast Fantasy

Chocolate cake and trifle and jelly and ice-cream and creamy sundaes and large bowls full of tiramisu and jam sponge and more. The women feed each other without cutlery, using their hands to daub the chocolate-rich, creamy messes both into each other's mouths and over each other's breasts and bodies.

Sploshing: Exploring the Wet and Messy Fetish

Sploshing. Say sploshing to most people on the street and they won’t know what you’re on about (they'll also give you a wide berth for randomly talking in their face). Sploshing in puddles? Get your wellies on and go for a run through the muddy woods after a good downpour? Erm, nope.

Electrosex Guide: How Beginners Can Use E-Stim Toys

Can electric and sex ever really unite to deliver pleasure, not pain? Are there any risks - and how on earth can you play with electric safely? Read on to discover the low-down in my electrosex guide, and find out how beginners can start using e-stim toys.

What Is Urethral Sounding? Guide to Penis Sounds

Once you're ready, lube up the sound (and the end of your penis) and slowly slide the tip in. Once in, keep hold of both the sound and your penis, then slowly allow gravity to pull the sound deeper. Once you're at the base of the penis, stop for a moment and slowly pull the sound out, ever so gently. This is approximately where the best sensations are to be found.

Hot Kissing Tips: How To Be A Fantastic Kisser

Kissing tips: Kissing is often a forgotten or at least neglected area of our love lives. Whether you’re in a relationship or a sassy single with a satisfying sex life, kissing adds a uniquely passionate element to sex and lovemaking.

The Time I Made Him Make Me Safe Out

It hurts SO much. Is this all I can take? Would someone else be able to take more? Am I being a wuss? I want him to be proud of me. It hurts. Fuck, that hurts so much. Ok I am going to say red. Any minute now…

Whirlwind of Fire

The evening passed in the usual blur where time speeds up and excitement is at a high. We got closer and closer during the evening and exchanged flirty banter and those looks. You know the ones. Curious, daring, challenging, knowing. Time was escaping us, rushing past in an echo of Alice in Wonderland madness. Swept up in her crazy hotness and wild fire we rebelled and kissed - and our lips then tongues meeting was fire to fire. The taste of not girl, but woman. Full knowledge and comprehension of actions, not some naive innocent who will later regret.

Is Pubic Hair Sexy?

Why have we even got pubic hair in the first place? It’s a sign that we’ve been through puberty and reached adulthood, true; but for those who choose to remove any trace of pubic hair from their body it can be an endless source of frustration...