Change Where You Have Sex: Fucking Somewhere New

Change Where You Have Sex: Fucking Somewhere New

Plenty of internet and women’s magazines articles will tell you that you should be trying all the sex positions you can imagine (and a few you never could). There’s no way your sex life can be exciting, they say, if you’re not having sex like this! There’s usually a generous helping of sex positions which would make trained contortionists wince at the very idea. When you’ve been having sex for a while -and especially with the same sexual partner- you’ll likely find a sex position that really works for you. You’ll enjoy having sex in that particular way because it pushes your buttons. And that’s ok, until someone comes along and tells you you’ve got to ‘spice it up’ and ‘try these new positions today’. If you really want to try something new, why not consider sex locations rather than sex positions?

That’s right – you can have the sex you love in the way that works for you. Just… somewhere new, that’s all. If you want to. I’m not saying you should drag your lover up the chimney flue or get jiggy with them on a park bench; simply look around your home environment and consider which parts of the house might make interesting new sex locations. It’s incredible how naughty, dangerous and exciting it can feel having sex in a different room instead of always shutting your bedroom door, flicking off the light and diving under the duvet.

Let’s take a look at some of these super exciting new sex locations.

The Bathroom

What do you mean you haven’t yet argued over who’s getting the tap end? You didn’t think ‘getting sexy in the shower’ meant doing your best Herbal Essences impression, did you?

Sure, plenty of us have attempted romance/intimacy/sex in the bath or shower -and to be honest, you either love it or hate it. For some people, the closeness of sharing a bath -yep, even if you’re at the tap end- makes up for limited movement of limbs. And there are plenty of sexy things you can get up to in the shower that aren’t PiV sexual intercourse.

If you’re the type who has tried but hated bath/shower sexy times, or just *know* you wouldn’t be a fan, then please take one more look at the bathroom as a new sex location. It’s one room of the house where there’s definitely a lock on the door (if you don’t have one, take a trip to B&Q this weekend), and where a locked door doesn’t arouse any suspicion. The bathroom is a haven where you can get intimate together – even if it’s on a few towels on the floor instead of having to get into hot water.

Let’s face it: you’re in the perfect place to clean each other up afterwards, too.

The Kitchen

Your kitchen is probably not the first place that springs to mind when thinking up exciting places to have sex. But take another look. How would you like to shove the laundry to the back of your mind and get forcefully taken over the kitchen counter? Still fully clothed, just enough lifted or pulled to the side to be entered, or fingered, or licked?

There’s definitely some bondage fantasy fulfillment in being fucked while ‘doing the dishes’. Your hands in rubber gloves, submerged in warm soapy water and restricted by a bowl full of crockery… it’s not like you can quickly and easily manoeuvre your hands to prevent your lover’s access. Not without causing a hot, wet mess. Which ironically, is… yeah. You get the picture.

If you are considering the kitchen as one of your new sex locations then I’d advise you approach it with caution, however. Don’t try to combine kitchen-based sexy times with cooking, ironing or anything else which might end up with a painful and embarrassing ambulance trip/visit to A&E.

On The Stairs

Ok, ok – bear with me on this one. I know the stairs aren’t exactly the comfortable sex location of most people’s dreams. That’s kind of the point, though. In that space between downstairs and upstairs, you feel ever so slightly more vulnerable. There’s more risk of being caught mid-naughtiness. What if the postman calls? What if you’re seen by someone peering through a window?

Risk assessment time: if the stairs do make it to your exciting sex locations list, I’d recommend keeping it to the bottom of the stairs or on the landing. Having suffered an excruciating fall down the stairs lately (heartbreakingly not even sex related) I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Especially not in the throes of passion with mutual danglies hanging out. Then in. Then out again.

In The Garage or Garden Shed

It’s like outdoor sex – without having to actually be outdoors. Take sexy playtime out of your house and into your garage or even the garden shed to add a stimulating, mischievous layer to your love making.

An unconverted garage or garden shed isn’t insulated like a home environment is. The natural chill in the air, turning to draughts on your semi-naked nookie, should satisfy any outdoor sex longings without having to risk the embarrassment of being caught.

Unless you’re a bit of a masochist you might want to take something padded for your knees – and do get the braver of you to check for spiders first!

In The Garden

If the semi-outdoor spaces of the garage or garden shed have upped your sex courage levels, then perhaps the garden is next on your sex locations agenda.

Here in England the garden isn’t top of most people’s list when it comes to ‘places I’d like to get naked’. Not just because people might see, but because the weather isn’t usually warm and dry enough to take off our jumpers. Never mind getting down to corset and bloomers.

If you do chance upon a dry sunny day (or you just don’t care about the cold air and muddy sludge, you animal you) then the garden could be a great sex location. Undoubtedly best if not overlooked; but there’s ways around that as well. A well-placed sheet or a pop-up tent (*ahem*) could give you the privacy you need during the outdoor fuck you crave.

The Great Outdoors

Wanting to take your passionate romps even further afield than your own garden? Although here in the UK the law is fairly relaxed when it comes to having sex outdoors, there are stricter laws related to public decency. This is fair enough; I wouldn’t like to happen upon a couple in flagrante while on a woodland walk or playing in the park with my kids.

What makes sex extra sexy is being safe while doing it. Safety covers a lot of aspects – trust between partners, active consent, the feeling of being able to get completely lost in the sensations & moment, prevention of unwanted pregnancies & STIs, avoiding legal trouble. And remember: sand gets everywhere, as does glitter. But that’s a story for another day.

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