Sex Advice

Sex advice that’s practical, pleasure-focused and grounded in real life.

Welcome to my Sex Advice hub. This is where I keep my most useful guidance on intimacy, confidence, communication, boundaries and desire, alongside kink-aware advice that’s consent-forward and emotionally safe. If you’re here because you want better sex, less confusion, more connection, or simply a clearer understanding of what you like, you’re in the right place.

A lot of sex advice online is either painfully vague or wildly unrealistic. I write about sex as it actually happens in real bodies and real relationships, with real-life factors like stress, hormones, disability, ageing, parenting, trauma history and fluctuating libido in the mix. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s more ease, more confidence, and more pleasure on your terms.

What You’ll Find In My Sex Advice Posts

This category pulls together articles and guides across a wide range of sex and relationship topics, including:

  • Intimacy and connection in long-term relationships, plus practical relationship advice
  • Sex tips that focus on comfort, pleasure and confidence, not performance, including my main sex tips archive
  • Solo pleasure, self-discovery and confidence building via my masturbation guides
  • Real-world guidance on exploring toys, sensation and variety in my sex toy advice posts and sex toy guides, including practical deep dives like my G-spot toys guide
  • Kink-aware discussions, from curiosity to confident play, in my kinky sex advice section
  • Consent-forward BDSM information and emotional safety in my BDSM advice archive
  • Chastity-focused guidance for those who are exploring control, anticipation and power dynamics in my chastity advice posts

Why Read My Sex Advice

I’ve been writing about sex, relationships and pleasure for years, and I keep my approach grounded and human. I’m not here to sell you a perfect version of sexuality. I’m here to help you make sense of what you want, what you feel, and what actually works in your life. You’ll see a mix of practical tips, honest reflections, and the kind of nuance that gets lost when people pretend sex is simple.

If you prefer your learning with a side of storytelling, you might also like my sexy stories and kinky sexy stories, where desire and intimacy get explored in a more imaginative way.

Featured Topics

Browse the most popular areas of Sex Advice and jump straight to what you need right now.

Scroll down to read the latest posts in my Sex Advice category.

Can You Be Just Friends With An Ex?

Whether the ex was a regular booty call or a long-term partner in a relationship, many of us have people we've been emotionally and physically intimate with in the past. This prior closeness engenders strong emotion, and they say love and hate are two sides of the same coin. Are you friends with any of your exes? Is it even possible? Can you ever be just friends with an ex?  

The Wedding: What’s Yours Is Mine

The whispers of those seated at the back were muffled by the whoops surrounding the drawn-out kiss of joy at the altar, until a natural settling revealed the click-clack of my heels on the stone. A wave of anxious whispers and angry mutters accompanied my approach to the still lost-in-each-other bride and groom, which turned to gasps of shock as I undid and threw off the hideous overcoat without breaking stride. 

Can You Make Your Own Sex Toys At Home?

When the budget's stretched thin it's sensible to cut costs by cutting out luxuries. And I'd wager that most people view sex toys as a luxury. With the popularity of crafting, plus incentives to be eco-friendly wherever possible, it could be tempting to try and make your own sex toys at home.

How To Use Menstrual Cups: Why You Should Try Mooncups!

Menstrual cups (also known as Mooncups, Diva Cups & Period Cups) tend to get two contrasting reactions from the women I've spoken with. There's the vehement & judgemental: "ewww, no I just couldn't... anyway, aren't they a hippy thing?" Or the seasoned menstrual cup user: "YES! Every woman should use them, they're awesome".

Real Life Handjobs: How I Give Him A Hand Job

There’s something intensely erotic about looking directly into someone’s eyes as you’re sexually stimulating them... Making eye contact with him while you’re using your hands to pleasure his penis is sure to be an enormous thrill, while he’s struggling not to just let his eyes roll back, eyelids fluttering closed against the orgasmic stimulation as he lets out guttural groans of pleasure.

What’s the Difference Between Kink and Fetish?

With increasing awareness of and interest in BDSM, much of the related jargon and terms have made their way into common parlance. Two such words are 'kink' and 'fetish'. They're often used interchangeably, but as they are two different words it's natural to wonder what the actual meanings are.

Submission in BDSM: Why It’s Not a Sign of Weakness

How do you feel about submission in BDSM? You could be fooled into believing it's a sign of weakness, but there is actually a great deal of strength in surrender. Read on to find out how submission in consensual kinky terms is extremely empowering as well as intensely arousing. 

Is It Possible To Orgasm At The Same Time As Your Partner? Let’s Talk...

The carnal need builds in her, orgasmic tendrils taking hold from throat to clit. Her g-spot is rhythmically drummed by his mighty cock. She barely hears his ragged breaths turn to loud grunts behind her... when she's taken by an earth-shattering climax as he explodes his hot seed deep inside her ravaged pussy.

London Fuck Doll: Fucked, Denied, Satisfied

I moaned aloud as he took me by the shoulders and drove the full length of his cock deep into my achingly hungry pussy. My slippery, soft labia were spread apart as they massaged his welcome penetration. My head turned to the side, flat on the bed as he pinned it there with his heavy hand in my hair, he rammed his cock into me repeatedly, frenziedly. This wasn't love-making. This was primitive, carnal rutting.

Does Spanish Fly Work? And Other Cheap Sex Supplements

Have you ever tried the little blue pill? Viagra (aka Sildenafil Citrate) has been hailed as a 'wonder drug' following the completion of its development in 1998 by Pfizer as a cure for sexual impotence. As it's only available on prescription, many men try out the cheaper, herbal offerings which are readily available from sex shops.

No Going Back

He was helpless. There was no going back.

Just An Hour

It was just an hour from when I got her message to when I arrived. Just an hour. Now, looking back, it seems almost impossible that there was just an hour of intermission between my old life to my new reality.

Slim Vibrators For Small Vaginas

By Cara Sutra: I must admit that when I look at vibrator features, size doesn't really register. I'm one of those women who assumes that vaginal vibrators are made in, well, vagina size. If they're tiddly then they might be more of a clit stim for me.

Chastity Keyholding Services: Finding the Right Keyholder

By Cara Sutra: I've written various articles on the subject. What I get out of locking a guy up in a chastity cage. Female chastity. Slaves have written their experiences, and there are several chastity device reviews. This year, I'm focusing on Keyholding services.

Watching My Boyfriend Suck Another Man’s Cock

His mouth, with all its masculine bearded surround, enveloping the cock tip. My boyfriend's lips forming the O around the collar of his friend's dick, as if it were second nature. I moistened my own lips, as if in readiness. I could almost taste and feel every millimetre for myself, so familiar were the actions. I've sucked cock a thousand times and know the tricks. What I didn't know was that I'd been giving my boyfriend lessons.

What Is Active Consent? Is It Required In A Relationship?

Consent is mandatory for any sexual, intimate or otherwise physically or psychologically invasive experience. We all know this, and if you don’t, you do now. It’s difficult to believe that there could be any confusion surrounding the issue of consent.

Change Where You Have Sex: Fucking Somewhere New

When you’ve been having sex for a while -and especially with the same sexual partner- you’ll likely find a sex position that really works for you. You’ll enjoy having sex in that particular way because it pushes your buttons. And that’s ok, until someone comes along and tells you you’ve got to ‘spice it up’ and ‘try these new positions today’. If you really want to try something new, why not consider sex locations rather than sex positions?

What Are Limits in BDSM? Setting Boundaries in Kink

What are BDSM limits? And, in a BDSM relationship, is pushing limits OK? Or should both partners just find out what makes them tick and keep right on doing those things without moving the goalposts?

Shower Sex Tips

By Cara Sutra: I’ve had some fantastic shower sex in the past. I’ve also had some pretty naff shower sex, and some shower sex which has been, quite frankly, dangerous. I’ve been thinking about shower sex recently because we’ve just moved into a sparkly new house, and have a couple of showers… one in the en-suite, and one over-bath in the family bathroom. Along with nostalgic memories of shower fun I’ve been thinking something else, too.

Scared Of Sucking Cock? You’re Not Alone

By Cara Sutra: For people who feel uncomfortable about or even scared of sucking cock, the pressure to perform in this specific way can be difficult to swallow. Do you have a fear of giving him a blow job?