Sex Advice

Sex advice that’s practical, pleasure-focused and grounded in real life.

Welcome to my Sex Advice hub. This is where I keep my most useful guidance on intimacy, confidence, communication, boundaries and desire, alongside kink-aware advice that’s consent-forward and emotionally safe. If you’re here because you want better sex, less confusion, more connection, or simply a clearer understanding of what you like, you’re in the right place.

A lot of sex advice online is either painfully vague or wildly unrealistic. I write about sex as it actually happens in real bodies and real relationships, with real-life factors like stress, hormones, disability, ageing, parenting, trauma history and fluctuating libido in the mix. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s more ease, more confidence, and more pleasure on your terms.

What You’ll Find In My Sex Advice Posts

This category pulls together articles and guides across a wide range of sex and relationship topics, including:

  • Intimacy and connection in long-term relationships, plus practical relationship advice
  • Sex tips that focus on comfort, pleasure and confidence, not performance, including my main sex tips archive
  • Solo pleasure, self-discovery and confidence building via my masturbation guides
  • Real-world guidance on exploring toys, sensation and variety in my sex toy advice posts and sex toy guides, including practical deep dives like my G-spot toys guide
  • Kink-aware discussions, from curiosity to confident play, in my kinky sex advice section
  • Consent-forward BDSM information and emotional safety in my BDSM advice archive
  • Chastity-focused guidance for those who are exploring control, anticipation and power dynamics in my chastity advice posts

Why Read My Sex Advice

I’ve been writing about sex, relationships and pleasure for years, and I keep my approach grounded and human. I’m not here to sell you a perfect version of sexuality. I’m here to help you make sense of what you want, what you feel, and what actually works in your life. You’ll see a mix of practical tips, honest reflections, and the kind of nuance that gets lost when people pretend sex is simple.

If you prefer your learning with a side of storytelling, you might also like my sexy stories and kinky sexy stories, where desire and intimacy get explored in a more imaginative way.

Featured Topics

Browse the most popular areas of Sex Advice and jump straight to what you need right now.

Scroll down to read the latest posts in my Sex Advice category.

Watching My Boyfriend Suck Another Man’s Cock

His mouth, with all its masculine bearded surround, enveloping the cock tip. My boyfriend's lips forming the O around the collar of his friend's dick, as if it were second nature. I moistened my own lips, as if in readiness. I could almost taste and feel every millimetre for myself, so familiar were the actions. I've sucked cock a thousand times and know the tricks. What I didn't know was that I'd been giving my boyfriend lessons.

BDSM Beginner’s Guide: How Curious Minds Can Explore Safe, Kinky Fun

The enduring popularity of BDSM cannot be attributed in its entirety to the relatively recent appearance of Fifty Shades Of Grey, no matter how much the media would love for that to be the case. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism are all power exchange activities, either including sex or entirely and deliberately absent of it, which have been practiced for centuries.

Chastity Keyholding Services: Finding the Right Keyholder

By Cara Sutra: I've written various articles on the subject. What I get out of locking a guy up in a chastity cage. Female chastity. Slaves have written their experiences, and there are several chastity device reviews. This year, I'm focusing on Keyholding services.

Imaginative Sexual Role Play Ideas

The world of sex advice is awash with tips in this regard, with ‘trying out role-play with your partner’ being a popular one. But what sort of role-play situation is sexy? And what type of role-play suits your sort of relationship, in particular? Today, I’d like to share with you 10 steamy role-play ideas to try with your partner.

How To Get Free Sex Toys

By Cara Sutra: We all do. Everyone loves freebies, and no matter really want it is, we all want that something for free. Why pay when you can get it for nothing?

What Is Urethral Sounding? Guide to Penis Sounds

Once you're ready, lube up the sound (and the end of your penis) and slowly slide the tip in. Once in, keep hold of both the sound and your penis, then slowly allow gravity to pull the sound deeper. Once you're at the base of the penis, stop for a moment and slowly pull the sound out, ever so gently. This is approximately where the best sensations are to be found.

The Wedding: What’s Yours Is Mine

The whispers of those seated at the back were muffled by the whoops surrounding the drawn-out kiss of joy at the altar, until a natural settling revealed the click-clack of my heels on the stone. A wave of anxious whispers and angry mutters accompanied my approach to the still lost-in-each-other bride and groom, which turned to gasps of shock as I undid and threw off the hideous overcoat without breaking stride. 

Chastity Release – Her Icy Response

Tilting his chin up so I could look into his embarrassed face properly, I relished the fight between humiliation, hate and the most intense arousal in his eyes. My other hand reached down and felt the weight of his chastity locked cock in my hands. He jumped as my cool hands came into contact with his hot straining balls under the metal device.

Slim Vibrators For Small Vaginas

By Cara Sutra: I must admit that when I look at vibrator features, size doesn't really register. I'm one of those women who assumes that vaginal vibrators are made in, well, vagina size. If they're tiddly then they might be more of a clit stim for me.

Anal Sex Toys Guide: Finding The Best Butt Plug For You

Bums. Everyone has one, and very useful they are too. Our undervalued derrières not only house the exit which keeps our bodies functioning healthily, but offer comfortable padding when we need to take the weight off our feet. Did you realise that your bottom also has the potential to give you incredible pleasure, as well as a mere sigh of relief any time you sit down?

Guide to Prostate Massagers & P-Spot Toys

Although I spoke briefly about P-spot stimulation devices in my recent blog post, today I want to offer a deep delve into prostate toys. Welcome to my guide to prostate massagers, where I’ll outline what specifically makes a toy a prostate massager and the most effective P-spot toys available.
Big guide to lesbian sex toys - best sex toys for lesbians

Lesbian Sex Toys Guide

Our heteronormative, phallocentric society loves to promote the myth that sex begins and ends with penis-in-vagina. That the only true definition of sex is thrusting a penis into a vagina which then ejaculates at some point, which signals the End Of The Sex. I'm here to tell you that such a view is wrong on so many levels.

Female Chastity and Orgasm Denial: Do Women Enjoy Locking Up Their Pleasure?

Female chastity is a BDSM topic very close to my Mistress heart, and one I've been thinking and writing about for well over a decade. I've covered male chastity at length over the years, written extensively about chastity cage reviews and keyholding, and explored just about every angle of locking a partner up. But the question I keep coming back to, and one I get asked often, is this: what about us? Does female chastity really exist as a kink in its own right, and how can women genuinely enjoy orgasm denial?

Just An Hour

It was just an hour from when I got her message to when I arrived. Just an hour. Now, looking back, it seems almost impossible that there was just an hour of intermission between my old life to my new reality.

Watersports Kink: Curious About Piss Play and Golden Showers?

Does the mention of watersports conjure up innocent images of surfing and jet skis, or raise a knowing smirk? If you're here, I'm guessing it's the latter. For the non-vanilla version of watersports, "golden showers" and "piss play" are probably the more familiar terms, thanks to tabloid coverage of various celebrity and political scandals, and a healthy dose of internet porn.

Spanking Toys Guide: Implements, Tools and Techniques

Does the mere thought of a raised Dominant hand, or a spanking toy whistling through the air, stir the tendrils of arousal? You might be wondering which spanking tools are best for effective corporal punishment. Welcome to my big spanking toys guide, in which you'll also find links to all our spanking toy reviews.

Why I Love Locking Men in Chastity Cages: A FemDom View

As the locked chastity continues, I enjoy every renewed realisation that they’re unable to have an erection or an orgasm. Of course, being a cruel and evil Bitch, I heighten the sub/slave’s torment with frequent teasing, whether by words, images or demanding that they perform in various perverted ways for me in person.

Coming Full Circle

The spotlight centred on my naked, kneeling body is bright enough to just reveal the dark forms stood in a circle surrounding me. I feel the men's presence, rather than see them; I'm seeing the scene through my mind's eye in any case, with my eyes squeezed tightly closed, blocking out reality, even while it commands my full sensory attention. 

Penis Chastity Devices Guide: How to Choose and Use a Cage

Whether you’re looking for your first chastity device, or seeking to add a chastity cage to your *ahem* growing collection, it can be baffling when you realise just how many variants are available. This is particularly the case for lock-up fans who don’t have a Keyholder/Mistress/Top to guide them, and simply wish to explore chastity fetish by themselves. Welcome to my big guide to penis chastity devices!

Chastity Release – Unlocking & Orgasm

He looked up at me from where he knelt on the kitchen floor, a solitary tear running down his defeated face. That just made my cunt even wetter in beautifully cruel empathy. Finally, he’d completed the distasteful task. His expert tongue protruded, but not out of rudeness or as a plea for pussy. On the tip was a small, very shiny key.