Sex Advice

Sex advice that’s practical, pleasure-focused and grounded in real life.

Welcome to my Sex Advice hub. This is where I keep my most useful guidance on intimacy, confidence, communication, boundaries and desire, alongside kink-aware advice that’s consent-forward and emotionally safe. If you’re here because you want better sex, less confusion, more connection, or simply a clearer understanding of what you like, you’re in the right place.

A lot of sex advice online is either painfully vague or wildly unrealistic. I write about sex as it actually happens in real bodies and real relationships, with real-life factors like stress, hormones, disability, ageing, parenting, trauma history and fluctuating libido in the mix. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s more ease, more confidence, and more pleasure on your terms.

What You’ll Find In My Sex Advice Posts

This category pulls together articles and guides across a wide range of sex and relationship topics, including:

  • Intimacy and connection in long-term relationships, plus practical relationship advice
  • Sex tips that focus on comfort, pleasure and confidence, not performance, including my main sex tips archive
  • Solo pleasure, self-discovery and confidence building via my masturbation guides
  • Real-world guidance on exploring toys, sensation and variety in my sex toy advice posts and sex toy guides, including practical deep dives like my G-spot toys guide
  • Kink-aware discussions, from curiosity to confident play, in my kinky sex advice section
  • Consent-forward BDSM information and emotional safety in my BDSM advice archive
  • Chastity-focused guidance for those who are exploring control, anticipation and power dynamics in my chastity advice posts

Why Read My Sex Advice

I’ve been writing about sex, relationships and pleasure for years, and I keep my approach grounded and human. I’m not here to sell you a perfect version of sexuality. I’m here to help you make sense of what you want, what you feel, and what actually works in your life. You’ll see a mix of practical tips, honest reflections, and the kind of nuance that gets lost when people pretend sex is simple.

If you prefer your learning with a side of storytelling, you might also like my sexy stories and kinky sexy stories, where desire and intimacy get explored in a more imaginative way.

Featured Topics

Browse the most popular areas of Sex Advice and jump straight to what you need right now.

Scroll down to read the latest posts in my Sex Advice category.

Is Pubic Hair Sexy?

Why have we even got pubic hair in the first place? It’s a sign that we’ve been through puberty and reached adulthood, true; but for those who choose to remove any trace of pubic hair from their body it can be an endless source of frustration...

Penis Chastity: Beginner’s Guide to Cock Locking

Welcome to my big beginner's guide to penis chastity and male chastity play! So, you want to try a chastity device? Or maybe your partner wants you to wear one? Perhaps you’re reading this as you want your partner to wear one for you. Whatever your reason is for being here, you’re doing the right thing!
What Are Dental Dams? A Beginner's Guide & Safe Oral Sex Tips

What Are Dental Dams? Where & Why Would You Use Them?

Dental dams aren’t overly expensive and they can be bought discreetly online. In addition, they’re slightly larger than condom packets but still flat, so you could keep a couple in your wallet or handbag when you go out.
cleaning silicone sex toy in warm soapy water for hygiene

How To Clean Sex Toys Safely: A Complete Hygiene Guide

Learning how to clean sex toys properly is one of the easiest ways to protect your sexual health, prevent irritation, and make sure every beloved toy you own stays safe to use, completely fresh...

Rapeplay Fantasies: Understanding Consensual Non-Consent Kink

It’s come to my attention recently that certain folks are against people having their fantasies and acting them out, consensually, with their adult partner(s). Rape fantasy, to be specific. Now, I’ve taken this a little bit personally, as rape fantasy is a very important part of my sex life - a very enjoyable part of my fantasy and real life.

Why Heterosexual Women Love Gay Porn And Erotica

There is something beautiful about the masculine form—the virility and raw power in the taut muscles, hard planes and sharp edges. I’m a sucker for sexy bodies, and have been obsessed with male nudity since I can remember. In fact, my high school art teacher told me I had to “tone down,” my drawing of naked men.

BDSM Wax Play Guide: How to Enjoy Candle Dripping Safely

BDSM wax play is an immersive form of sensory play. It's also one of my favourite ways to explore the intricate balance between physical sensuality and psychological intrigue that makes kink popular. Using wax play candles in BDSM incites anticipation and all-encompassing arousal, evoking physical sensation, emotional trust, and mesmerising aesthetics all at once. The agonisingly slow drip of warm wax is about so much more than the flicker of heat as it splashes on to soft, receptive skin. 

Fucking Yourself With High Heels: Kink and Safety

Dear Cara, I have quite a worrying obsession with my girlfriend's shoes. She doesn't know, but every time she's out and I'm left in the house I have to fuck myself in the ass...

Can I Stop Being Kinky? Can You Ever Leave BDSM?

I honestly believe it's naive to think you can just switch off your kinkiness for all time. You may be leaving BDSM when it comes to the community, you can get rid of your implements and finish any D/s relationships, but being a kinkster is simply too much a part of a person's character. It's up to you if you decide to act on those kinky impulses in your life or not.

Anorgasmia Explained: Why You Can’t Orgasm and What to Do

Anorgasmia is the medical term for struggling to reach orgasm, or not being able to orgasm at all. It affects people of all genders and at every stage of life. If you are wondering why you can’t orgasm, or why climax feels increasingly out of reach, you are far from alone. The experience can feel isolating, confusing and even shameful, yet there are many practical reasons behind orgasm difficulties. There are also realistic ways to explore your pleasure, rebuild confidence and discover what your body responds to.