Kinky Sex Advice

Do you have a stale sex life… or simply want to discover how to take your current sex life from 'good' to 'spectacularly breathtaking'? Enjoy learning how to do just that in my kinky sex advice articles here on the Cara Sutra sex blog.

Whether something is kinky or vanilla is completely defined by your own experiences and comfort levels. Sex acts and interests viewed as extreme by one person might be another person’s everyday delight. Most people agree, however, that sex and intimate pleasures which include an element of power exchange are clearly kinky. Power exchange is where someone is, or is role playing as, Dominant, while someone else is, or is role playing as, submissive.

Sexual acts where the word "no" might not always mean "no", and where safewords are instead required, are also regarded as kinky. For example begging your partner to stop spanking you while secretly loving it and hoping they carry on. "No" and "stop" aren’t the safewords, therefore they know to carry on satisfying your kinky desires.

The main aim of kinky sex and BDSM is the pleasure and enjoyment of all involved. The pre-requisite is active consent, throughout. That leaves a lot of scope for kinky activities and shared perverted enjoyment of many fetishes, such as spanking, bondage, chastity, name-calling, hair-pulling, biting, collars and leashes, slavery, cuckoldry, ageplay, objectification and a whole lot more.

Read more about BDSM safewords, the importance of active consent and the hundreds of other kinky sex advice articles here on the blog.

Spanking Implements Guide

Spanking is an erotic act between consenting kinksters and lovers. Do you prefer yours OTK (over the knee), strapped face-down to a bench, during sex or in some other fashion? Does the mere thought of a raised Dominant hand, or a spanking toy whistling through the air, stir the tendrils of arousal?

Bondage Beginner’s Guide

Despite Fifty Shades of Grey helping to spotlight the joys of BDSM in the mainstream in recent years, plenty of people have been enjoying the physical, psychological and emotional liberation that the power exchange in D/s role-play offers. Due to the recent sharp rise in mainstream interest, I wanted to share my bondage top tips and advice in this beginner's guide to bondage today. Welcome to my complete bondage 101!

BDSM Beginner’s Guide

The enduring popularity of BDSM cannot be attributed in its entirety to the relatively recent appearance of Fifty Shades Of Grey, no matter how much the media would love for that to be the case. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism are all power exchange activities, either including sex or entirely and deliberately absent of it, which have been practiced for centuries.

Kinky Punishment: Spanking, Whips, Crops & Canes

I'd like to talk a little more about why we love sexy corporal punishment here today, and how it really hits our spot. Perhaps this intimate revelation will prompt more people out there to accept spanking and similar as being just as 'acceptable' as 'regular' sex antics, instead of mentally filing such habits as perverted, deviant and downright weird.

ElectraStim Sex Toys Guide

You may or may or may not have heard the term e-stim or electrosex before. It's something that can inspire all sorts of emotions, from curiosity to nervous apprehension. It involves using specialised equipment to stimulate our genitals using electricity. It is a gender-free masturbatory activity that is fun on your own or with a partner.

Being Kink Compatible In BDSM Relationships

You crave nothing more than her largest strap-on wedged firmly up your ass. She, on the other hand,  insists you spend the day doing the dishes dressed in sissy frills and heels. However, you're not a sissy and she doesn't own any strap on harnesses. How could things have gone so wrong? It's time to talk about kink compatibility in BDSM relationships.

The Humiliation Kink: Humiliating Objectification Fantasies

Guilty is the wrong word; I don't feel guilty about any of my pleasures, as P!nk famously said. I feel weird, and wired, and demanding. I have a high-maintenance imagination. Most notably, I have a private love/hate relationship with humiliating objectification –as a kink and as a popular foundation for my most extreme fantasies.

How I Dominate My Slaves: Domme Point Of View

How people perceive my domination, and the reality of it, is something which has fascinated me for some time. You would be amazed at some of the comments directed my way over the years simply for the ways in which I choose to enjoy my natural dominance, as well as how my actively consenting submissives enjoy it, too. Some of these comments are borne from ignorance, some from jealousy, some from malice, and others simply because the person spoke without properly thinking it all through.

Penis Chastity Devices Guide

Whether you’re looking for your first chastity device, or seeking to add a chastity cage to your *ahem* growing collection, it can be baffling when you realise just how many variants are available. This is particularly the case for lock-up fans who don’t have a Keyholder/Mistress/Top to guide them, and simply wish to explore chastity fetish by themselves. Welcome to my big guide to penis chastity devices!

Forced Orgasms: What Are They & Why Do People Enjoy Them?

I love the freedom to touch myself whenever I want –and I make the most of that freedom, as you can see by the thousands of sex toy reviews and erotic articles here on the blog. Chastity is definitely not for me, when I'm the one locked up I mean. How about the flip side of chastity: forced orgasms? There's still the element of external control -but rather than orgasm denial, I would be (consensually, of course) forced to orgasm over and over.

Kinky Watersports: Golden Showers & Piss Play Guide

Does mention of watersports conjure up innocent images of surfing and jet skis -or raise a knowing smirk? For the non-vanilla activity, "golden showers" is probably a more familiar term to most thanks to tabloid coverage of various celebrity/political scandals, as well as good old internet porn.
Understanding Adult Babies And The Adult Baby Fetish

Adult Baby Diaper Lovers (ABDL): Kinky Grown-Up Babies Fetish

Cards on the table: this is not my kink. Is it yours? As someone with an interest in another area of ageplay, I imagine that the adult baby fetish is viewed as extremely niche and is often misunderstood. Perhaps feared a little –even within the BDSM sphere.

Complete Sensory Deprivation Kink: A Guide

Ever heard of sensory deprivation? If you have, chances are you’re either up on your psychology* or you’re into bondage. Or both, of course. Sensory deprivation is an enormous turn-on for many in the BDSM scene, but what is it that makes this particular practice so sexy?

Bound To Serve As A Sex Slave

After several months' training, both mental and physical, her slave was able to handle one of her ferocious whippings simply through tears, gritted teeth and with only a few sweary slip-ups. He'd learnt that lesson fast, she thought, her smile widening even further. An extra 5 minutes lashing for every curse he spat in her direction soon had him holding his tongue.

What Is FemDom? Is It The BDSM Scene Outsider?

FemDom is the Marmite of the BDSM world. Female Domination usually elicits a response firmly on one end of the scale or the other: yes please! or ...um, no thanks. While female submission has been warmly embraced by the masses, with sexualised imagery of restrained women now prevalent even in mainstream music and film media, FemDom is still viewed as extremely niche.  

Dacryphilia: Turned On By Crying & Tears

As the barrier crashes down within him, crumbling to reveal his true self, tears then finally begin to form. I see the subtlest glint and can't help wetting my own lips with my tongue in anticipation –in between my incessant tirade, the code to unlock his complete submissive self.  

Coming Full Circle

The spotlight centred on my naked, kneeling body is bright enough to just reveal the dark forms stood in a circle surrounding me. I feel the men's presence, rather than see them; I'm seeing the scene through my mind's eye in any case, with my eyes squeezed tightly closed, blocking out reality, even while it commands my full sensory attention. 

The Wedding: What’s Yours Is Mine

The whispers of those seated at the back were muffled by the whoops surrounding the drawn-out kiss of joy at the altar, until a natural settling revealed the click-clack of my heels on the stone. A wave of anxious whispers and angry mutters accompanied my approach to the still lost-in-each-other bride and groom, which turned to gasps of shock as I undid and threw off the hideous overcoat without breaking stride. 

What’s The Difference Between Kink And Fetish?

With increasing awareness of and interest in BDSM, much of the related jargon and terms have made their way into common parlance. Two such words are 'kink' and 'fetish'. They're often used interchangeably, but as they are two different words it's natural to wonder what the actual meanings are.

Submission Is Not A Sign Of Weakness – Quite The Opposite

Is submission a sign of weakness? Many are fooled into thinking so. I'm talking about submission in sexual or power exchange terms; submission as part of BDSM.