Forced Orgasms – The Flip Side Of Chastity
I’ve written plenty about chastity in the past. It’s no secret that I love the idea, and reality, of a guy with his cock locked up while I’m in control of the key, his orgasms, even his ability to touch himself there. By contrast, I love the freedom to touch myself whenever I want –and I make the most of that freedom, as you can see by the thousands of sex toy reviews and erotic articles here on the blog. Chastity is definitely not for me, when I’m the one locked up I mean. How about the flip side of chastity: forced orgasms? There’s still the element of external control -but rather than orgasm denial, I would be (consensually, of course) forced to orgasm over and over.
What Are Forced Orgasms, Anyway?
Not heard of forced orgasms? It sounds a bit strange at first, I know. How can you force someone to orgasm, why would you want to –and why would you want or need orgasms forced out of you? Surely if you’re in an intimate situation with someone you’re happy to orgasm with, you shouldn’t need anything ‘forcing’? It can sound very negative, very wrong, until you learn what the phrase ‘forced orgasms’ actually refers to.
Forced orgasms are generally enjoyed –yes, I said enjoyed– as part of BDSM. In a sex/adult pleasure situation where one person takes the role of being ‘dominant’ (‘in charge’) and the other takes the role of being ‘submissive’ (the one who obeys the dominant), the giving and obeying of orders is a highly arousing as well as mutually fulfilling scenario. It’s a scenario which clearly requires full and active consent at all times, high levels of trust, as well as safety measures such as setting a safeword or agreeing to use traffic lights.
BDSM scenarios don’t always take place in dimly lit ‘sex dungeons’ or kinky clubs, nor do the people involved need any specific equipment. My partner and I can get deeply into BDSM play while naked in the comfort of our own bedroom. It’s about the mindsets, the trust, the consensual control element; not the attire, equipment or location.
There are many ways this control or power exchange can be realised during a BDSM play session, one of which is forced orgasms. It’s where the one in charge (also known as the Dom, Domme, Master, Mistress, Top, Owner etc) ‘forces’ the one being controlled and obedient (also known as the submissive or bottom) to orgasm beyond when they’d normally stop stimulating themselves, continuing having orgasms over and over (where possible) until the Top decides otherwise –or the bottom uses their safeword, of course.
What Do People Get Out Of It?
Enjoying forced orgasms as part of consensual power exchange in BDSM is simply another avenue of surrendering control, from the part of the submissive, while the Top enjoys being in control, and reiterating that control by stimulating the sub to orgasm over and over, or else instructing the submissive to orgasm again and again. There is mutual pleasure, and mutual fulfilment. Physical fulfilment, from the orgasmic satisfaction, but also the mental and emotional fulfilment that BDSMers enjoy – the thrilling highs from deep levels of trust, surrendering of control, taking complete control, edge play within pre-agreed and communicated boundaries, being pushed as close to your limit as you desire (but not beyond).
Like a lot of BDSM activities, a session involving forced orgasms can appear harsh, brutal, mean and cruel to those uninitiated in the mental and emotional intricacies of this world. All activity is entirely consensual, and stops at once when the submissive uses their safeword (or says ‘red’ in traffic light use, or uses the pre-agreed signal if gagged) or otherwise when the Top/Dominant wishes to stop proceedings.
The combination of not only the physical satisfaction that comes from sexual pleasure and intimacy, and resulting orgasms, but also the handing over of control, the exchange of power and feeling safe to explore within deeply trusting and respected territory, is what gives BDSMers the thrill. Forced orgasms, like I say, is just one route to mutual fulfilment in BDSM –of many.
How Are Forced Orgasms Done?
The action of giving forced orgasms can be done in a variety of ways. Like much of BDSM, the only limits are those of the people involved, consent, and your imagination.
Forced orgasms tend to come easier from a penis (excuse the pun), although this obviously depends on how easy it is for the person in question to orgasm generally. I’ve been lucky enough to know a couple of vulva-owners who orgasm extremely easily – much easier than I do, certainly. Unless a penis-owner has a history of erectile and ejaculation problems, it tends to be fairly easy to bring them to orgasm. Orgasms are of course not (always) purely down to physical stimulation, but also the headspace of the person attempting to reach orgasm. A good BDSM session will ensure that the proper headspace has been reached.
Orgasms can be self-made, through masturbation, or the result of external stimulation from a person… or an object. Same with forced orgasms. The submissive might be ‘ordered’ to masturbate until orgasm, then beyond that until more orgasms are experienced, or the orgasms might be given in a ‘hands-on’ way by the dominant. I’ve seen objects used to give the forced orgasms fetishist climaxes beyond where they’d usually stop of their own volition, such as wanking/milking machines for those with a penis, and a held-in-place or harnessed wand vibrator over the clitoris of a vulva-owner.
Could I Ever Enjoy Forced Orgasms?
I love the idea and reality of indulging in ‘forced orgasm play’ with a submissive male or female partner, in my dominant role. I am intrigued by the idea of enduring and being fulfilled by having enforced repeated orgasms myself…
There are two main issues with forced orgasms for me.
Firstly, the physical aspect. Am I capable of having more than one orgasm in fairly quick succession? Even if the second (third, fourth etc) orgasms aren’t so close to the first, would the pressure to obey and submit be too off-putting for my body to actually comply? So much of my orgasms stem from the headspace I’m in rather than whatever physical stimulation I’m enjoying.
Secondly, that headspace. As well as being mentally ready/able to orgasm at the same time as enduring the ongoing stimulation, I don’t naturally identify as submissive. Such a loss of/handing over of control to a dominant partner doesn’t come easily –or at all – to me. It isn’t something that I want to do, unless it’s in the highly sexual and bedroom-only setting with my long-term partner. And we very much see our BDSM playtimes as mutual sexual fun and exploration, roleplay, rather than staunchly remaining in serious dominant and submissive identities.
I have a feeling that when all is said and done, my mind and body would rebel from being able to orgasm beyond the first time. The easiest way for me to orgasm while I’m with my partner is through the use of a strong bullet or wand vibrator, as I get very focused on his pleasure as well as feeling self-conscious during sex and it can interfere with how easily I reach orgasm in other ways. Using such powerful vibrations has a negative effect beyond that first orgasm, however – my clit can become too sensitive to reach climax, or else suffer from the ‘white finger’ sensation, feeling pretty numb to anything until the nerve endings have calmed enough.
Related: My Different Types Of Orgasm
It’s a real shame, because watching movie clips of women being forced to orgasm over and over looks incredibly hot –and I’m sure my partner would love to be the voyeur as I do the same, performing and thrashing under his fingers and command.
Have you ever considered including forced orgasms in your sexual and/or BDSM play? Would you give them a try? How do you think things would go –or if you’re already a fan, what tips would you give?
As always, looking forward to your comments below.
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