Sex Advice

Sex advice that’s practical, pleasure-focused and grounded in real life.

Welcome to my Sex Advice hub. This is where I keep my most useful guidance on intimacy, confidence, communication, boundaries and desire, alongside kink-aware advice that’s consent-forward and emotionally safe. If you’re here because you want better sex, less confusion, more connection, or simply a clearer understanding of what you like, you’re in the right place.

A lot of sex advice online is either painfully vague or wildly unrealistic. I write about sex as it actually happens in real bodies and real relationships, with real-life factors like stress, hormones, disability, ageing, parenting, trauma history and fluctuating libido in the mix. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s more ease, more confidence, and more pleasure on your terms.

What You’ll Find In My Sex Advice Posts

This category pulls together articles and guides across a wide range of sex and relationship topics, including:

  • Intimacy and connection in long-term relationships, plus practical relationship advice
  • Sex tips that focus on comfort, pleasure and confidence, not performance, including my main sex tips archive
  • Solo pleasure, self-discovery and confidence building via my masturbation guides
  • Real-world guidance on exploring toys, sensation and variety in my sex toy advice posts and sex toy guides, including practical deep dives like my G-spot toys guide
  • Kink-aware discussions, from curiosity to confident play, in my kinky sex advice section
  • Consent-forward BDSM information and emotional safety in my BDSM advice archive
  • Chastity-focused guidance for those who are exploring control, anticipation and power dynamics in my chastity advice posts

Why Read My Sex Advice

I’ve been writing about sex, relationships and pleasure for years, and I keep my approach grounded and human. I’m not here to sell you a perfect version of sexuality. I’m here to help you make sense of what you want, what you feel, and what actually works in your life. You’ll see a mix of practical tips, honest reflections, and the kind of nuance that gets lost when people pretend sex is simple.

If you prefer your learning with a side of storytelling, you might also like my sexy stories and kinky sexy stories, where desire and intimacy get explored in a more imaginative way.

Featured Topics

Browse the most popular areas of Sex Advice and jump straight to what you need right now.

Scroll down to read the latest posts in my Sex Advice category.

Is Too Much Masturbation Dangerous? Can You Wank Too Much?

There are lots of myths and misinformation about masturbating, so I’m here to set the record straight. Can you masturbate too much? Is excessive wanking dangerous? Long story short: although masturbation is definitely a private pleasure, it’s also nothing to feel guilty about and it doesn't cause any harm.

Coconut Oil Sexual Lubricant Guide

Coconut oil is one of those things I've heard plenty about, but I'm still not exactly sure what I can and can't use it for, why I should consider using it and where I should put it. Should I cook with it? Slather it through my hair? Funnel it into the car? Create a tropical-scented slip 'n slide in the garden? Why should I choose it over other oils? What's a good price? What benefits can I expect? And, of course, are coconut oil lubes effective & safe for sex & masturbation?

Rabbit Vibrators Guide

What are rabbit vibes? How do you use a rabbit vibrator? You might be intimately familiar with this type of vibrating sex toy, or perhaps you're new to bunny-based self-love. Here in my rabbit vibrators guide you'll find out all about these consistently popular sex toys –as well as my absolute favourite buzzing bunnies.

How To Measure Your Breasts & Get The Correct Bra Size

A badly fitting bra can lead to a number of health problems from poor posture, nerve damage, headaches, digestive issues and even permanent breast sagging.  It can be painful, it can be irritating and it’s risking our health. That's why it's important to ensure that you get properly fitted for a bra, or read a bra fitting guide so you can do it yourself. Did you know that at least 80% of UK women are still wearing the wrong size bra?

BDSM Gear Guide: Essentials for Every Kinkster

I've written several 'sexy product' guides here at the Cara Sutra sex blog, advice guides for sex toys, lubes, and specific kinky sex accessories too. Today I'd like to present my big guide to BDSM toys / BDSM gear, where I will help you navigate the enormous and diverse world of kinky toys and tools used to enhance power exchange sessions.

Foot Fetish: Why Feet Turn People On

What do you know about foot fetishism? Maybe you've heard rumours of people who fetishize feet, or perhaps you have a foot fetish yourself. Or the concept of having a fetish for feet might be something new to you entirely! In today's BDSM guide, foot fetish 101, I'd like to explore both what this fetish is all about and gain some understanding into the reasons behind foot fetishism.

Anal Lubes Guide

I promised to write about each of the main sub-categories of sex lube in greater detail, and today we're looking at butt-specific lubricants for all your anal pleasure needs. Welcome to my anal lubes 101: your complete guide!

Flavoured Lubes Guide (& Other Special Effect Lube)

Today, I'd like to discuss an extremely fun type of lube in more detail – sex lubricants which offer sensational intimate effects, plus lubes with mouth-watering flavours. Welcome to my special effects & flavoured lubes 101: your complete guide!

Hybrid Lubes Guide

In my recent overview article relating to the huge and diverse world of sexual lubricants, I talked about sex lubes in general, why they're fantastic, what not to use and briefly covered the various types. In this feature, I'd like to introduce one of those types in greater detail. Hybrid sex lubricants are relatively new to the sex lube scene -and are therefore at risk of being misunderstood and sadly avoided. Let's correct that today. Welcome to my hybrid lubes 101: your complete guide!

Oil-Based Lubes Guide

In my recent big guide to sexual lubricants, I looked at the huge and diverse world of lube. There are various types, each with their own pros and cons and recommended usage. Today, I'd like to take a closer look at oil lubricants in particular. What sort of oil can you expect to find in these lubes? What can you use oil lubes for – and what should you avoid? Welcome to my oil-based lubes 101: your complete guide!

Mile High Club: How to Have Sex on an Aeroplane

The Mile High Club is a source of endless fascination and speculation. How do people join this exclusive 'club'? More to the point, how do you join the mile-high club and get away with it? Does it even really exist, or are these airborne amorous adventures the stuff of myth and legend?

Silicone Lubes Guide

Recently, I wrote about the various types of sex lubes in my recent big guide to sexual lubricants. Today, I'd like to delve a little deeper into one of those types in particular, silicone lubricants. Why would you choose a lube which is silicone based? What can you use them for – and what are the pros and cons? Welcome to my silicone lubes 101: your complete guide!

Water-Based Lubes Guide

Water-based lubes are sexual lubricants with a formulation that has water as its main or 'base' ingredient. There may be various other components to the formulation, but water is the main one. As well as a descriptor of the main ingredient of these lubricants, the label 'water-based' helps to quickly and easily differentiate them from the various other types of lubes: silicone, oil-based, hybrid etc.

Complete Guide To Sex Lubes

LUBE. What is it? Who uses it? What are the different types? What is it used for? How and why is it used? Welcome to my big guide to sex lubes!

The Periodic Table of Kink: Explore the Fetish Poster

The Periodic Table of Kink turns a huge world of BDSM ideas into a clear visual poster. Below I explain what it is, how it is organised, smart ways to use it for exploration and education, and where to buy it.

Complete List of BDSM Fetishes and Kinks

For those who would like a handy list of BDSM fetishes and kinks, I believe I've found a fantastic resource. The UberKinky Periodic Table of Kink provides an easy to understand, visual representation of the majority of the recognised BDSM activities.

STIs List & Sexually Transmitted Infections Symptoms Checker

There's just no way to discuss sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and make it sound sexy, but adult sex education is undoubtedly a necessity. If even the thought of having an STI makes you feel ill, then it's best to be in possession of all the facts so you can make sure you're sexually cleaner than a t-shirt at the end of a laundry detergent ad.

What Are SSC and RACK? BDSM Safety Principles Clearly Explained

What are SSC and RACK exactly, what are the main differences, how do they relate to general BDSM safety principles - and which one do you feel most comfortable with? Welcome to my easy understand guide to the two safety frameworks every kinkster needs to know. Don't get kinky before reading through and choosing whichever is correct for you!

Sexual Foreplay Guide: Hot Pre-Sex Arousal Tips & Ideas

Brilliant sexual foreplay can mean the difference between a stagnant, monotonous sex life and keeping the spice and magic of a relationship alive. Are you stuck for ideas for fantastic before sex arousal and supremely arousing foreplay? Welcome to my comprehensive guide to lovers' arousal techniques: my sexual foreplay 101.

Safe Words and Traffic Lights: How to Say Stop in BDSM

Due to the exciting explorations of trust and vulnerability in kink play, the words "stop" or "no" don't necessarily mean what they usually would. They can be said as part of role play, or to enhance the atmosphere of the scenario. How can someone in the middle of a kink session unequivocally communicate that they need to stop proceedings at once? Welcome to my guide to saying stop when you really mean it in BDSM.