Sex Advice

Sex advice that’s practical, pleasure-focused and grounded in real life.

Welcome to my Sex Advice hub. This is where I keep my most useful guidance on intimacy, confidence, communication, boundaries and desire, alongside kink-aware advice that’s consent-forward and emotionally safe. If you’re here because you want better sex, less confusion, more connection, or simply a clearer understanding of what you like, you’re in the right place.

A lot of sex advice online is either painfully vague or wildly unrealistic. I write about sex as it actually happens in real bodies and real relationships, with real-life factors like stress, hormones, disability, ageing, parenting, trauma history and fluctuating libido in the mix. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s more ease, more confidence, and more pleasure on your terms.

What You’ll Find In My Sex Advice Posts

This category pulls together articles and guides across a wide range of sex and relationship topics, including:

  • Intimacy and connection in long-term relationships, plus practical relationship advice
  • Sex tips that focus on comfort, pleasure and confidence, not performance, including my main sex tips archive
  • Solo pleasure, self-discovery and confidence building via my masturbation guides
  • Real-world guidance on exploring toys, sensation and variety in my sex toy advice posts and sex toy guides, including practical deep dives like my G-spot toys guide
  • Kink-aware discussions, from curiosity to confident play, in my kinky sex advice section
  • Consent-forward BDSM information and emotional safety in my BDSM advice archive
  • Chastity-focused guidance for those who are exploring control, anticipation and power dynamics in my chastity advice posts

Why Read My Sex Advice

I’ve been writing about sex, relationships and pleasure for years, and I keep my approach grounded and human. I’m not here to sell you a perfect version of sexuality. I’m here to help you make sense of what you want, what you feel, and what actually works in your life. You’ll see a mix of practical tips, honest reflections, and the kind of nuance that gets lost when people pretend sex is simple.

If you prefer your learning with a side of storytelling, you might also like my sexy stories and kinky sexy stories, where desire and intimacy get explored in a more imaginative way.

Featured Topics

Browse the most popular areas of Sex Advice and jump straight to what you need right now.

Scroll down to read the latest posts in my Sex Advice category.

Edging In Masturbation How To Edge And Why You Should Try

What Is Edging In Masturbation? How To ‘Edge’ & Why You Should Try It

Experimenting with new bedroom techniques, positions and sensations is a great way to ensure your sex life remains healthy and varied. It's easy to discount masturbation as not really part of your 'sex life', but don't make that mistake - exploring new solo sexual ventures keeps things fresh and exciting. You're worth it!

Vaginismus: How To Ease Vaginal Tightness

Vaginismus is a condition where the muscles in and around the vagina spasm and painfully tighten during penetration. This tightening is involuntary; the person suffering with vaginismus has no control over it and is unable to make it stop.

Using Ice Cubes In Sex And Masturbation

I really struggle with the heat in summer. It's annoying being far too hot all the time –not to mention the resulting dent in my libido. That said, I've been using ice cubes during sex & masturbation for years, which is certainly a big help during a heatwave. Let me share some of my icy sexual pleasure tips with you here today.

Countries Where Sex Toys Are Banned

If you're a sex toy fan it's important that you do your research about the countries where sex toys are banned. Find out whether you can take your vibrators on vacation without legal repercussions or embarrassment while going through security.

How To Measure Your Penis For Best Cock Ring Fit

A cock ring might be worn for the wearer’s pleasure only, or to provide stimulation to both partners during sex. Because a love ring is worn around a sensitive part of the body, it’s imperative that you get the right size. Today I’ll explain how to measure your penis for best cock ring fit.

App-Controlled Sex Toys Guide

Every industry is striving to provide customers with the latest technological advancements in their products, and the sex toy industry is no different. That's right, there are smartphone app controlled sex toys! Read on to find out more about these app-controlled vibrators and internet enabled vibrators.

How To Recycle Your Old Sex Toys & Dispose Of Broken Vibrators

Ready to declutter and unburden yourself from any belongings which don't spark joy? For 'belongings' read sex toys, and for 'joy' read orgasms. Today I want to discuss how to recycle your old sex toys, and the correct way to dispose of broken vibrators.

Is Too Much Masturbation Dangerous? Can You Wank Too Much?

There are lots of myths and misinformation about masturbating, so I’m here to set the record straight. Can you masturbate too much? Is excessive wanking dangerous? Long story short: although masturbation is definitely a private pleasure, it’s also nothing to feel guilty about and it doesn't cause any harm.

Coconut Oil Sexual Lubricant Guide

Coconut oil is one of those things I've heard plenty about, but I'm still not exactly sure what I can and can't use it for, why I should consider using it and where I should put it. Should I cook with it? Slather it through my hair? Funnel it into the car? Create a tropical-scented slip 'n slide in the garden? Why should I choose it over other oils? What's a good price? What benefits can I expect? And, of course, are coconut oil lubes effective & safe for sex & masturbation?

Rabbit Vibrators Guide

What are rabbit vibes? How do you use a rabbit vibrator? You might be intimately familiar with this type of vibrating sex toy, or perhaps you're new to bunny-based self-love. Here in my rabbit vibrators guide you'll find out all about these consistently popular sex toys –as well as my absolute favourite buzzing bunnies.

How To Measure Your Breasts & Get The Correct Bra Size

A badly fitting bra can lead to a number of health problems from poor posture, nerve damage, headaches, digestive issues and even permanent breast sagging.  It can be painful, it can be irritating and it’s risking our health. That's why it's important to ensure that you get properly fitted for a bra, or read a bra fitting guide so you can do it yourself. Did you know that at least 80% of UK women are still wearing the wrong size bra?

Pelvic Floor Exercises: How To Do Them & Why You Should

Your pelvic floor is the muscle responsible for those delicious clenches you feel during orgasm. Regular Kegel exercises help to tone the vagina and enable you to keep a better grip of your partner during PiV (penis in vagina) sex. As you climax, a more toned vagina will clench harder which intensifies sensation for both partners.

BDSM Gear Guide: Essentials for Every Kinkster

I've written several 'sexy product' guides here at the Cara Sutra sex blog, advice guides for sex toys, lubes, and specific kinky sex accessories too. Today I'd like to present my big guide to BDSM toys / BDSM gear, where I will help you navigate the enormous and diverse world of kinky toys and tools used to enhance power exchange sessions.

Foot Fetish: Why Feet Turn People On

What do you know about foot fetishism? Maybe you've heard rumours of people who fetishize feet, or perhaps you have a foot fetish yourself. Or the concept of having a fetish for feet might be something new to you entirely! In today's BDSM guide, foot fetish 101, I'd like to explore both what this fetish is all about and gain some understanding into the reasons behind foot fetishism.

Anal Lubes Guide

I promised to write about each of the main sub-categories of sex lube in greater detail, and today we're looking at butt-specific lubricants for all your anal pleasure needs. Welcome to my anal lubes 101: your complete guide!

Flavoured Lubes Guide (& Other Special Effect Lube)

Today, I'd like to discuss an extremely fun type of lube in more detail – sex lubricants which offer sensational intimate effects, plus lubes with mouth-watering flavours. Welcome to my special effects & flavoured lubes 101: your complete guide!

Hybrid Lubes Guide

In my recent overview article relating to the huge and diverse world of sexual lubricants, I talked about sex lubes in general, why they're fantastic, what not to use and briefly covered the various types. In this feature, I'd like to introduce one of those types in greater detail. Hybrid sex lubricants are relatively new to the sex lube scene -and are therefore at risk of being misunderstood and sadly avoided. Let's correct that today. Welcome to my hybrid lubes 101: your complete guide!

Oil-Based Lubes Guide

In my recent big guide to sexual lubricants, I looked at the huge and diverse world of lube. There are various types, each with their own pros and cons and recommended usage. Today, I'd like to take a closer look at oil lubricants in particular. What sort of oil can you expect to find in these lubes? What can you use oil lubes for – and what should you avoid? Welcome to my oil-based lubes 101: your complete guide!

Mile High Club: How to Have Sex on an Aeroplane

The Mile High Club is a source of endless fascination and speculation. How do people join this exclusive 'club'? More to the point, how do you join the mile-high club and get away with it? Does it even really exist, or are these airborne amorous adventures the stuff of myth and legend?

Silicone Lubes Guide

Recently, I wrote about the various types of sex lubes in my recent big guide to sexual lubricants. Today, I'd like to delve a little deeper into one of those types in particular, silicone lubricants. Why would you choose a lube which is silicone based? What can you use them for – and what are the pros and cons? Welcome to my silicone lubes 101: your complete guide!