Sex Advice

Sex advice that’s practical, pleasure-focused and grounded in real life.

Welcome to my Sex Advice hub. This is where I keep my most useful guidance on intimacy, confidence, communication, boundaries and desire, alongside kink-aware advice that’s consent-forward and emotionally safe. If you’re here because you want better sex, less confusion, more connection, or simply a clearer understanding of what you like, you’re in the right place.

A lot of sex advice online is either painfully vague or wildly unrealistic. I write about sex as it actually happens in real bodies and real relationships, with real-life factors like stress, hormones, disability, ageing, parenting, trauma history and fluctuating libido in the mix. The goal isn’t perfection. It’s more ease, more confidence, and more pleasure on your terms.

What You’ll Find In My Sex Advice Posts

This category pulls together articles and guides across a wide range of sex and relationship topics, including:

  • Intimacy and connection in long-term relationships, plus practical relationship advice
  • Sex tips that focus on comfort, pleasure and confidence, not performance, including my main sex tips archive
  • Solo pleasure, self-discovery and confidence building via my masturbation guides
  • Real-world guidance on exploring toys, sensation and variety in my sex toy advice posts and sex toy guides, including practical deep dives like my G-spot toys guide
  • Kink-aware discussions, from curiosity to confident play, in my kinky sex advice section
  • Consent-forward BDSM information and emotional safety in my BDSM advice archive
  • Chastity-focused guidance for those who are exploring control, anticipation and power dynamics in my chastity advice posts

Why Read My Sex Advice

I’ve been writing about sex, relationships and pleasure for years, and I keep my approach grounded and human. I’m not here to sell you a perfect version of sexuality. I’m here to help you make sense of what you want, what you feel, and what actually works in your life. You’ll see a mix of practical tips, honest reflections, and the kind of nuance that gets lost when people pretend sex is simple.

If you prefer your learning with a side of storytelling, you might also like my sexy stories and kinky sexy stories, where desire and intimacy get explored in a more imaginative way.

Featured Topics

Browse the most popular areas of Sex Advice and jump straight to what you need right now.

Scroll down to read the latest posts in my Sex Advice category.

Big guide to lesbian sex toys - best sex toys for lesbians

Lesbian Sex Toys Guide

Our heteronormative, phallocentric society loves to promote the myth that sex begins and ends with penis-in-vagina. That the only true definition of sex is thrusting a penis into a vagina which then ejaculates at some point, which signals the End Of The Sex. I'm here to tell you that such a view is wrong on so many levels.

Female Chastity and Orgasm Denial: Do Women Enjoy Locking Up Their Pleasure?

Female chastity is a BDSM topic very close to my Mistress heart, and one I've been thinking and writing about for well over a decade. I've covered male chastity at length over the years, written extensively about chastity cage reviews and keyholding, and explored just about every angle of locking a partner up. But the question I keep coming back to, and one I get asked often, is this: what about us? Does female chastity really exist as a kink in its own right, and how can women genuinely enjoy orgasm denial?

International Male Chastity Day: Date, Celebration and Devices

As a proud kinkster and huge fan of the chastity fetish in particular, it gives me great pleasure to share details of an official annual celebration of this highly erotic kink. International Male Chastity Day (also known as International Chastity Day) is celebrated on the 15th February* each year.

Bondage Toys Guide: Best Gear for Kinky Play

What can you use to restrain someone (or enjoy being restrained) in bondage? That's where bondage sex toys and bondage accessories come into their own. It helps having some background knowledge of just what's available in terms of bondage equipment, and why it's important to use items specifically designed for bondage rather than any old belt, strap or rope...

Spanking Toys Guide: Implements, Tools and Techniques

Does the mere thought of a raised Dominant hand, or a spanking toy whistling through the air, stir the tendrils of arousal? You might be wondering which spanking tools are best for effective corporal punishment. Welcome to my big spanking toys guide, in which you'll also find links to all our spanking toy reviews.

Bondage Beginner’s Guide: Safe, Sexy Rope Play Tips

Despite Fifty Shades of Grey helping to spotlight the joys of BDSM in the mainstream in recent years, plenty of people have been enjoying the physical, psychological and emotional liberation that the power exchange in D/s role-play offers. Due to the recent sharp rise in mainstream interest, I wanted to share my bondage top tips and advice in this beginner's guide to bondage today. Welcome to my complete bondage 101!

BDSM Beginner’s Guide: How Curious Minds Can Explore Safe, Kinky Fun

The enduring popularity of BDSM cannot be attributed in its entirety to the relatively recent appearance of Fifty Shades Of Grey, no matter how much the media would love for that to be the case. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism are all power exchange activities, either including sex or entirely and deliberately absent of it, which have been practiced for centuries.

Kinky Punishment: Spanking, Whips, Crops and Canes

I'd like to talk a little more about why we love sexy corporal punishment here today, and how it really hits our spot. Perhaps this intimate revelation will prompt more people out there to accept spanking and similar as being just as 'acceptable' as 'regular' sex antics, instead of mentally filing such habits as perverted, deviant and downright weird.

ElectraStim Sex Toys Guide: How to Use Electrosex Safely

Welcome to this ElectraStim Sex Toys Guide, brought to you by Joanne’s Reviews, an expert in electroplay and a trusted voice in the community. Whether you’re new to electrosex or curious about trying these unique toys, Joanne shares clear, practical advice regarding how to enjoy electrosex toys safely and confidently.

Being Kink Compatible: How to Find BDSM Relationship Harmony

You crave nothing more than her largest strap-on wedged firmly up your ass. She, on the other hand,  insists you spend the day doing the dishes dressed in sissy frills and heels. However, you're not a sissy and she doesn't own any strap on harnesses. How could things have gone so wrong? It's time to talk about kink compatibility in BDSM relationships.

Strap-On Dildos Guide

You may remember my last 'big guide' - the Big Guide To Strap-On Sex Harnesses I published last month. Obviously you'll need a fantastic dildo to attach to your new strap-on harness, so here's the follow-up feature: my big guide to strap-on dildos!

Humiliation Kink: Why Does Erotic Shame Turn Me On?

Why does humiliation turn some people on so intensely, even when the fantasy itself feels shocking, taboo, or emotionally conflicting? I'm asking because I'm one of those people, and I've spent a long time trying to make sense of it. The idea of humiliation, in any real-world sense, repels me. I hate the thought of being genuinely shamed, looked down on, or made small. And yet my biggest, most reliably arousing fantasies are built around exactly that: being shamed, exposed, humiliated, reduced to something to be laughed at or used...

Rethinking Vaginal Orgasms

Let's tackle the myth of vaginal orgasms. The myth isn't whether or not they're possible, but rather that everyone with a vagina must be able to climax from vaginal stimulation. If you don't orgasm from vaginal penetration, please don't panic. You're not alone. I don't orgasm that way either.

How I Dominate My Slaves: A Domme’s Perspective

How people perceive my domination, and the reality of it, is something which has fascinated me for some time. You would be amazed at some of the comments directed my way over the years simply for the ways in which I choose to enjoy my natural dominance, as well as how my actively consenting submissives enjoy it, too. Some of these comments are borne from ignorance, some from jealousy, some from malice, and others simply because the person spoke without properly thinking it all through.

Strap-On Harnesses Guide

Strap-on sex (sometimes known as pegging) is enjoyed by many adults and within various types of relationship; for example, lesbian/bisexual sex, in BDSM as part of FemDom, or to help a penis-owner pleasure their partner in different ways. There are many types of harness available to help you achieve your sexual pleasure aims – welcome to my big guide to strap-on sex harnesses.

Penis Chastity Devices Guide: How to Choose and Use a Cage

Whether you’re looking for your first chastity device, or seeking to add a chastity cage to your *ahem* growing collection, it can be baffling when you realise just how many variants are available. This is particularly the case for lock-up fans who don’t have a Keyholder/Mistress/Top to guide them, and simply wish to explore chastity fetish by themselves. Welcome to my big guide to penis chastity devices!

Forced Orgasms in BDSM: What They Are and Why People Enjoy Them

I love the freedom to touch myself whenever I want –and I make the most of that freedom, as you can see by the thousands of sex toy reviews and erotic articles here on the blog. Chastity is definitely not for me, when I'm the one locked up I mean. How about the flip side of chastity: forced orgasms? There's still the element of external control -but rather than orgasm denial, I would be (consensually, of course) forced to orgasm over and over.

Sex Machines & Fucking Machines: The Complete Buyer’s Guide

The sex machine market has shifted considerably since I first published this guide. New brands have entered, several older products have been discontinued, and the quality standard across motorised sex toys has risen. Whether you're researching a ride-on machine, a full thrusting machine, an automatic thrusting dildo, or a handheld thrusting toy that sits somewhere between a vibrator and a proper machine, this guide covers them all.

Are There Different Types Of Orgasm?

For so long, I didn't really think about how I was orgasming – beyond whether it was with my fingers, their tongue, one of my sex toys, etc – I just... orgasmed or didn't, as the case may be. Whew, there's another orgasm out of my system, and boy did that feel great, kinda thing. It's only relatively recently that I've spent some time thinking about my different types of orgasm.

Watersports Kink: Curious About Piss Play and Golden Showers?

Does the mention of watersports conjure up innocent images of surfing and jet skis, or raise a knowing smirk? If you're here, I'm guessing it's the latter. For the non-vanilla version of watersports, "golden showers" and "piss play" are probably the more familiar terms, thanks to tabloid coverage of various celebrity and political scandals, and a healthy dose of internet porn.