Kinky Sex Advice

Kinky sex advice for safe, informed exploration, stronger consent, and pleasure that feels good in real life.

Welcome to my Kinky Sex Advice hub. This is where I keep my most practical guidance on exploring kink with confidence, care, and clear consent. Expect beginner friendly safety basics, realistic communication help, and deeper dives into power dynamics, play styles, gear, and specific kinks. Everything here is written for real people, real bodies, and real relationships.

For broader bedroom guidance, head to Sex Advice. For everyday techniques and quick wins, browse Sex Tips. For deeper reflections on desire, identity and sexuality, explore Sexuality Articles. For toy related kink gear, you might also like Sex Toy Advice and my Sex Toy Guides hub.

Jump straight to the section that fits where you are right now.

Start Here

New to kink, or returning after a long gap? Start with these. They cover consent, boundaries and safer frameworks, so the fun parts feel clearer and more relaxed.



Kink Basics

These are the grounding posts that help everything else make sense, especially when labels or expectations get muddy.



Types of Kink and Play

Hands on ideas, plus the safety context that stops curiosity turning into stress. Pick what suits your vibe and build slowly.



Power Dynamics and Relationships

Power exchange is not just “who does what”. It is trust, boundaries, compatibility, and staying connected when life is busy or messy.



The non negotiables. Clear limits, active consent, and tools for stopping or adjusting without shame or drama.



Fetishes and Interests

A grab bag of kink curiosities, explained with context and reality checks, without pretending every fantasy has to look the same in real life.



Where To Start

Not sure what you need? Pick the line that matches your current situation and start there.



My Approach

I write about kink with a strong bias towards consent, safety, and emotional reality. There is no single correct way to be kinky, and there is no gold star for intensity. Kink can be playful, gentle, intimate, awkward, and still deeply satisfying. The aim is to explore in a way that feels aligned, safe, and genuinely enjoyable for the people involved.

Real world factors matter here too. Stress, confidence, trauma history, disability, sensory needs, privacy, relationship dynamics, and experience levels can all shape what works. This space makes room for that, without judgement or pressure.

Browse popular themes and jump straight to what you need right now.


Scroll down to explore the latest posts in this category, and use the quick links above to jump to consent basics, play ideas, power dynamics, gear, or specific kinks.

Complete List of BDSM Fetishes and Kinks

For those who would like a handy list of BDSM fetishes and kinks, I believe I've found a fantastic resource. The UberKinky Periodic Table of Kink provides an easy to understand, visual representation of the majority of the recognised BDSM activities.

What Are SSC and RACK? BDSM Safety Principles Clearly Explained

What are SSC and RACK exactly, what are the main differences, how do they relate to general BDSM safety principles - and which one do you feel most comfortable with? Welcome to my easy understand guide to the two safety frameworks every kinkster needs to know. Don't get kinky before reading through and choosing whichever is correct for you!

Sexual Foreplay Guide: Hot Pre-Sex Arousal Tips & Ideas

Brilliant sexual foreplay can mean the difference between a stagnant, monotonous sex life and keeping the spice and magic of a relationship alive. Are you stuck for ideas for fantastic before sex arousal and supremely arousing foreplay? Welcome to my comprehensive guide to lovers' arousal techniques: my sexual foreplay 101.

Safe Words and Traffic Lights: How to Say Stop in BDSM

Due to the exciting explorations of trust and vulnerability in kink play, the words "stop" or "no" don't necessarily mean what they usually would. They can be said as part of role play, or to enhance the atmosphere of the scenario. How can someone in the middle of a kink session unequivocally communicate that they need to stop proceedings at once? Welcome to my guide to saying stop when you really mean it in BDSM. 

Female Chastity and Orgasm Denial: Do Women Enjoy Locking Up Their Pleasure?

Female chastity is a BDSM topic very close to my Mistress heart, and one I've been thinking and writing about for well over a decade. I've covered male chastity at length over the years, written extensively about chastity cage reviews and keyholding, and explored just about every angle of locking a partner up. But the question I keep coming back to, and one I get asked often, is this: what about us? Does female chastity really exist as a kink in its own right, and how can women genuinely enjoy orgasm denial?

International Male Chastity Day: Date, Celebration and Devices

As a proud kinkster and huge fan of the chastity fetish in particular, it gives me great pleasure to share details of an official annual celebration of this highly erotic kink. International Male Chastity Day (also known as International Chastity Day) is celebrated on the 15th February* each year.

Bondage Toys Guide: Best Gear for Kinky Play

What can you use to restrain someone (or enjoy being restrained) in bondage? That's where bondage sex toys and bondage accessories come into their own. It helps having some background knowledge of just what's available in terms of bondage equipment, and why it's important to use items specifically designed for bondage rather than any old belt, strap or rope...

Spanking Toys Guide: Implements, Tools and Techniques

Does the mere thought of a raised Dominant hand, or a spanking toy whistling through the air, stir the tendrils of arousal? You might be wondering which spanking tools are best for effective corporal punishment. Welcome to my big spanking toys guide, in which you'll also find links to all our spanking toy reviews.

Bondage Beginner’s Guide: Safe, Sexy Rope Play Tips

Despite Fifty Shades of Grey helping to spotlight the joys of BDSM in the mainstream in recent years, plenty of people have been enjoying the physical, psychological and emotional liberation that the power exchange in D/s role-play offers. Due to the recent sharp rise in mainstream interest, I wanted to share my bondage top tips and advice in this beginner's guide to bondage today. Welcome to my complete bondage 101!

BDSM Beginner’s Guide: How Curious Minds Can Explore Safe, Kinky Fun

The enduring popularity of BDSM cannot be attributed in its entirety to the relatively recent appearance of Fifty Shades Of Grey, no matter how much the media would love for that to be the case. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism are all power exchange activities, either including sex or entirely and deliberately absent of it, which have been practiced for centuries.

Kinky Punishment: Spanking, Whips, Crops and Canes

I'd like to talk a little more about why we love sexy corporal punishment here today, and how it really hits our spot. Perhaps this intimate revelation will prompt more people out there to accept spanking and similar as being just as 'acceptable' as 'regular' sex antics, instead of mentally filing such habits as perverted, deviant and downright weird.

ElectraStim Sex Toys Guide: How to Use Electrosex Safely

Welcome to this ElectraStim Sex Toys Guide, brought to you by Joanne’s Reviews, an expert in electroplay and a trusted voice in the community. Whether you’re new to electrosex or curious about trying these unique toys, Joanne shares clear, practical advice regarding how to enjoy electrosex toys safely and confidently.

Being Kink Compatible: How to Find BDSM Relationship Harmony

You crave nothing more than her largest strap-on wedged firmly up your ass. She, on the other hand,  insists you spend the day doing the dishes dressed in sissy frills and heels. However, you're not a sissy and she doesn't own any strap on harnesses. How could things have gone so wrong? It's time to talk about kink compatibility in BDSM relationships.

Humiliation Kink: Why Does Erotic Shame Turn Me On?

Why does humiliation turn some people on so intensely, even when the fantasy itself feels shocking, taboo, or emotionally conflicting? I'm asking because I'm one of those people, and I've spent a long time trying to make sense of it. The idea of humiliation, in any real-world sense, repels me. I hate the thought of being genuinely shamed, looked down on, or made small. And yet my biggest, most reliably arousing fantasies are built around exactly that: being shamed, exposed, humiliated, reduced to something to be laughed at or used...

How I Dominate My Slaves: A Domme’s Perspective

How people perceive my domination, and the reality of it, is something which has fascinated me for some time. You would be amazed at some of the comments directed my way over the years simply for the ways in which I choose to enjoy my natural dominance, as well as how my actively consenting submissives enjoy it, too. Some of these comments are borne from ignorance, some from jealousy, some from malice, and others simply because the person spoke without properly thinking it all through.

Penis Chastity Devices Guide: How to Choose and Use a Cage

Whether you’re looking for your first chastity device, or seeking to add a chastity cage to your *ahem* growing collection, it can be baffling when you realise just how many variants are available. This is particularly the case for lock-up fans who don’t have a Keyholder/Mistress/Top to guide them, and simply wish to explore chastity fetish by themselves. Welcome to my big guide to penis chastity devices!

Forced Orgasms in BDSM: What They Are and Why People Enjoy Them

I love the freedom to touch myself whenever I want –and I make the most of that freedom, as you can see by the thousands of sex toy reviews and erotic articles here on the blog. Chastity is definitely not for me, when I'm the one locked up I mean. How about the flip side of chastity: forced orgasms? There's still the element of external control -but rather than orgasm denial, I would be (consensually, of course) forced to orgasm over and over.

Watersports Kink: Curious About Piss Play and Golden Showers?

Does the mention of watersports conjure up innocent images of surfing and jet skis, or raise a knowing smirk? If you're here, I'm guessing it's the latter. For the non-vanilla version of watersports, "golden showers" and "piss play" are probably the more familiar terms, thanks to tabloid coverage of various celebrity and political scandals, and a healthy dose of internet porn.
Understanding Adult Babies And The Adult Baby Fetish

ABDL: Inside the Adult Baby Diaper Lovers Fetish

Cards on the table: this is not my kink. Is it yours? As someone with an interest in another area of ageplay, I imagine that the adult baby fetish is viewed as extremely niche and is often misunderstood. Perhaps feared a little –even within the BDSM sphere.

Sensory Deprivation Kink: Complete Guide for Beginners

In this complete guide to the sensory deprivation kink, I'll explain exactly what sensory deprivation is, why so many people find it arousing, the different types of sensory play, popular BDSM equipment and techniques, essential safety considerations, and how beginners can experiment with sensory deprivation in a safe, consensual, and exciting way. This guide comes to you from the perspective of a midlife Domme; I've enjoyed engaging in consensually restricting or removing someone's senses in kinky power exchange sessions, as well as wearing bondage hoods, mouth gags and masks myself in sexual role play, for over twenty years.