Adult Baby Fetish 101 | Complete Guide To Adult Babies & ABDL

Cards on the table: this is not my kink. Is it yours? As someone with an interest in another area of ageplay, I imagine that the adult baby fetish is viewed as extremely niche and is often misunderstood. Perhaps feared a little –even within the BDSM sphere.

The theory is that YKINMK (Your Kink Is Not My Kink, a statement of compassionate acceptance within BDSM), and that all consensual adult happenings within BDSM are equally welcome. The reality can feel rather different if your kink doesn’t happen to be one of the ‘headline acts’ -female submission, male chastity or bondage. I’ve talked about this before, from the point of view of Femdom within the BDSM scene.

Let’s take a closer look at adult babies and the adult baby fetish in the hope of understanding this kink a little better.

What Are Adult Babies & What’s The Adult Baby Fetish?

Understanding Adult Babies And The Adult Baby Fetish

The official term, according to Wikipedia, is paraphilic infantilism. It’s described as “a sexual fetish that involves role-playing a regression to an infant-like state.

There are two components of this description that I feel must be reiterated and understood before we go any further on this topic:

  • ‘sexual fetish’
  • ‘role-playing’

All areas of ageplay within BDSM are kinks and fetishes of the consenting adults involved. This is roleplay and not connected to or involving anyone underage. Neither are ageplay or the adult baby fetish a manifestation of any paedophilic interests or desires.

Like Wiki says, those who identify as adult babies, or who like to engage in the adult baby fetish, enjoy role-playing as infants. The way I see it, this could be because of the psychological elements, the physical manifestations of infant-style dependency, or a combination of both.

Why Some People Find It Sexy

Sexy is a bit of a misleading term when it comes to many kinks and fetishes, in my opinion. ‘Sexy’ is the adjective that most sexually active and/or interested adults in the world are familiar with when it comes to activities of purely adult enjoyment; things related to allure, seduction, arousal and pleasurable psychological and/or physical climax.

Understanding Adult Babies And The Adult Baby FetishIn terms of ageplay, which includes the adult baby fetish –and many other areas of BDSM- I find the word ‘fulfilling’ to be a more suitable term. Fulfilment, or psychological satisfaction, is the primary aim, with physical satisfaction (such as sex and orgasms) often secondary to that main driving desire.

When you understand that those ‘into’ the adult baby fetish are gaining psychological fulfilment from it rather than using it to chase orgasmic release, it becomes easier to understand the potential allure of it –even if it isn’t and wouldn’t ever be your thing.

I’ll repeat here that the fetish is nothing to do with actual babies or children; it’s about the psychological, emotional, and yes at times physical, fulfilment of consenting adults only.

Babies and infants are entirely dependent on an adult, and for those with the adult baby fetish, it’s that total dependency aspect which is enticing, exhilarating and ultimately –when roleplayed with a happy, willing adult partner- fulfilling. It’s a different flavour of TPE (Total Power Exchange) which is enjoyed by many Dominant and submissive partnerships within BDSM.

As I’ve mentioned, the fulfilling aspects of adult babyhood in BDSM can sometimes simply be due to the psychological dependency element; acting like a baby, non-verbal apart from crying noises, or baby babbling, having no adult pressures or responsibilities, and instead handing that all off to the ‘responsible adult’ play partner.

Understanding Adult Babies And The Adult Baby FetishOr, the fulfilment may come from not only taking the role of the ‘baby’, but also combining other kinks with the dependency aspects. Diaper-loving adult babies – adult babies who wear ‘nappies’, as we call them in the UK – bring optional piss play/watersports and/or scat elements to proceedings.

I’ve spoken with adult babies who consciously decide to fill the nappy they’re wearing, so it needs changing by the ‘adult’ partner in the roleplay. Some just urinate, others go the ‘whole hog’, so to speak. And I’ve spoken to other adult babies who prefer to be ‘forced’ to do their toileting in the nappy; put in bondage so they’re unable to visit the loo and instead need to endure the consensual torment and consequential humiliation of wetting their nappy.

And, of course, there are adult baby fetishists who don’t take to the diaper/nappy element at all, opting to be fulfilled by this kink in other, less messy, ways. Dressing up in baby-style attire (available from niche fetish retailers), using a pacifier/dummy, engaging in baby/toddler activities like being in a playpen or cot, or colouring in and suchlike.

As is so often the way with labels, each person who identifies as an adult baby (or in some way with the adult baby fetish) is entirely unique. Therefore, how the kink manifests and how it is best tailored to them will differ in the details.  There’s an AB/DL community: Adult Baby/Diaper Loving. Some are ABs, some DLs, and some both.

The main takeaway is that adult babies enjoy relinquishing the pressures and responsibilities of adulthood while engaging in this ageplay roleplay, just like other forms of submission can often be a way of feeling ‘free’ of worldly pressures and responsibilities. It’s just a different way of reaching the same destination, whether you (as a kinkster) choose to travel there by 24/7 submission to an owner, session submission to a Top, bondage, wearing a chastity device, caning, boot worship –whatever floats your particular boat.

YKINMK: It’s Ageplay, But Not As I Like It

I now sincerely hope we can now speak about adult babies and the adult baby fetish freely, without any sour lemon or ‘don’t make me eat those sprouts’ faces. Your Kink Is Not My Kink, sure –and that’s absolutely fine and fabulous; one of the main things I love about the BDSM world is the huge diversity when it comes to interests and kinks and preferred routes to satisfaction.

For me, there’s a difference between the ageplay of adult babies, and the ageplay of my personal DDlg kink (Daddy Dom/little girl). When roleplaying the ‘little girl’ to his ‘Daddy Dom’, I play on a reduced awareness of adulthood and the world at large, and the vulnerability that comes with the innocence of youth, while obviously both remaining fully aware, consenting adults. I don’t get off on feeling like I can’t make any decisions myself, or the diaper/nappy & pacifier/dummy elements of adult baby play. Sex is very much part of the DDlg kink for me, as well as the edgy taboo of ‘seducing’ Daddy with my little girl wiles… something that I don’t feel fits with the adult baby fetish.

I’ve written about the Daddy Dom little girl kink on other occasions, as well as erotic fiction to help people understand the hotness I see, if you’re interested in finding out more.

Each to their own; you do you, and I’ll do me. Or he’ll do me, more to the point. As long as these activities are enjoyed between actively consenting adults, with the usual BDSM safety aspects taken into consideration, then it’s all good in my opinion.

I hope that this article has, at the very least, opened a few minds to a fetish often described by the media as ‘bizarre’ or worse. Something which isn’t as palatable for the masses as a millionaire having his cock sucked by a wrist-cuffed pretty girl with jiggle balls up her. I believe that all kinky interests and activities between consenting adults deserve equal respect, even if you’re not into it personally, and/or don’t fully understand how someone else could find it appealing.

What are your thoughts on adult babies and the adult baby fetish? I look forward to reading your comments below.


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  1. This is very well written and well researched piece that helps to demystify a very niche paraphilia.

    I would add that the ‘surrender’ element whilst being comforting is also a form of ‘control’ as the ‘parent’ is at the bec and call of the child. Toiletry habits, I believe, are also part of this paradigm.
    But I have also found in my work as a Psychosexual therapist that there is an aspect of ‘inner child healing’ that may not be the primary motivation for this form of play but certainly contributes to the sense of empowered healing. Being seen as mad,bad,sad as a child and treated as such has such a destabilising affect on future attachments and attachment styles , some of which can be worked through by the caring ‘parent’ in A/B play.

    Thanks for the post and for raising this very misunderstood form of play and also for disclosing your personal play themes and frequent links to consent and boundaries.

    • Thanks so much for your comment! I agree about the control from the pov of the child part. And the empowered healing aspect rings true with me, in my own experiences and interest in ageplay.
      Thanks again

  2. Hi there,am a Transwomen who is also a Abdl girl,living in PDX, really trying to find a Abdl Mommy to take care of me&other Abdl boys to have bondage anal diaper sex with.i feel very safe&secure when wearing adult baby plastic diapers&adult baby plastic diaper covers for hours or a few days,I really like to masturbate in the very wet adult baby diapers,it really makes me very sexually aroused.

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