Humiliating Objectification Fantasies: My Love/Hate Relationship
Do you have any guilty fantasies? I class myself as a very kinky person, but some of my fantasies shock even me. Scenarios are conjured up in my mind, and I find myself fussing over them mentally, tweaking details and layering the filth until I have a custom-fit fantasy too extreme to speak aloud. Guilty is the wrong word; I don’t feel guilty about any of my pleasures, as P!nk famously said. I feel weird, and wired, and demanding. I have a high-maintenance imagination. Most notably, I have a private love/hate relationship with humiliating objectification –as a kink and as a popular foundation for my most extreme fantasies.
Humiliating Objectification Kink
Some people enjoy humiliation as part of BDSM and consensual public/private roleplay in that type of relationship. Others may enjoy being objectified by their partner, again as part of consensual roleplay in BDSM. Objectification may be done in private though, between two people only -not necessarily with any additional audience and therefore an external humiliation layer involved.
It’s the combination of the two –being objectified but the humiliation of this also happening in a public setting or at least with some audience aspect – which sends my imagination into overdrive.
An imagination which is in sexual overdrive leads to a predictable outcome: physically stimulating myself to a glorious climax while fixating on the most humiliating aspects of whichever fantasy I’ve conjured up. It’s precisely the parts of the fantasy which I’d hate most in real life, which turn me on to the highest degree. As if I am some kind of kinky hermaphrodite, the parthenogenesis of a highly sadistic mind creating the perfect perversely repulsive fantasies for its own strong masochistic cravings.
I have long believed that to be an effective sadistic Dominant in BDSM, you need to be able to fully comprehend the psychological and emotional impact of the cruelty inflicted. Knowing precisely which buttons to press, the vulnerabilities, the sensitivities, leads to the tailored sadism that many submissives lust after. What better practice play-space than my own mind?
There are no limits when it comes to personal and permanently private fantasies. You can fantasise about absolutely anything you like, it’s safe. There are no unknown elements, no non-consensual unpleasantness. There aren’t any risk factors to consider at all, whether for emotional well-being or physical safety.
Therefore, the allure of delving ever deeper into the well of an endlessly kinky imagination is great indeed. I remain fascinated by the dark filth my mind can generate. The tendrils of these fantasies can begin to form from the smallest of prompts; something watched, something read, something heard, something said.
From Mind To Page
By now you might be curious about my extreme humiliating objectification fantasies –and ready for a few examples. I’ve written some of them up as erotic stories here on the blog and I’ll link to a few in the next section. These are the highly edited versions of the original fantasies my mind teased me with, and which I pondered over and perfected and orgasmed to several times in the weeks prior. Edited to make them publicly palatable –maybe not for the majority, still, but at least for some- and so they meet the real-life criteria of active consent and emotional/physical safety.
Plenty is assumed in personal mental fantasies which needs to be properly stated when translating the scenario for anyone else’s consumption. Consent is obvious in my mind – if I didn’t consent, then I wouldn’t be thinking about it. I wouldn’t dream up anything I didn’t consent to dreaming up, or find arousing in some way, and as it’s only all happening in my mind, I can instantly alter the scene and those in it. Or I can make everything vanish instantly and turn my thoughts to what to cook for dinner. Happenings which would be irresponsibly dangerous in real life are tested and evaluated in the scene in my mind, to be approved or tweaked as necessary. Or sometimes, left irresponsibly dangerous. Because I can. Because no-one will ever really get hurt.
So yes, the erotic story write-ups of my extreme fantasies aren’t exactly how they were in my head. They’re a safer, more comfortable version for you to read.
I’ve often wondered if I’m into the fornophilia kink – a kink for ‘becoming’ furniture – but the humiliating objectification fantasies are slightly different. Although some have an element of being human furniture, the main character is never simply left. There’s always heavy sexual use and abuse. I don’t personally get off on being trussed up and just left, but YKINMK.
A few examples of my blogged humiliating objectification fantasies:
A 2-part series of suit porn erotica, in which I am first used by him… then all of his similarly suited friends.
Walking past parked up white vans every day was the innocent beginning for this perverted kidnap and gangbang fantasy.
Taking the ‘babe on the bonnet’ scene to an entirely new level, this story explores what would happen if I were simply a fuckable hood ornament for multiple men.
A combination of a love for the Matrix movie and a fascination with forced orgasms gave rise to this futuristic, voyeuristic and exploitative fantasy.
Bukkake is another kink which has intrigued me, but which I’m only willing to explore on a fantasy level. This one does exactly as it says on the tin.
His summertime birthday turned my thoughts to garden parties, and a centrepiece… a specially commissioned triad statue for all the guests to enjoy.
Forever Fantasy, Or Potential Reality?
When you read sex advice columns and sexual help material, there’s often tips on ‘making your fantasy a reality’. While this can be fantastic for people who would love their sexy dreams to happen in real life, but simply don’t get the opportunity or aren’t sure how to broach the subject with their partner, I don’t believe all fantasies should necessarily become reality.
Private fantasies are a sign of a healthy imagination and sex drive, but there certainly shouldn’t be any pressure felt to turn fantasy into reality if you or anyone else would be negatively affected by that happening. And I feel I definitely would be negatively affected if any/all of my humiliating objectification fantasies became reality. To clarify, I can’t think of one fantasy I enjoy in this category that I’d consent to in real life. Enjoying a fantasy in that safe space within my mind, where absolutely any facet can be tweaked or made to vanish at any time, is entirely different from being in the same or similar situation in real life where you have very little control over happenings (other than the agreed safing out method).
While safing out should always be an option in BDSM scenarios, this does stop the scene/action immediately and entirely. Which is a good thing, it’s the whole point. Mentally, with the fantasies, I don’t ever safe out. Because I can change something slightly to better suit my mood or depraved needs without affecting anyone else, the scene seems to always run smoothly. I can be bound and gagged upside down, but if being anally fisted by a faceless stranger feels a little too much, I can switch it to being face-fucked by my partner. I can go from being painfully gagged with my own urine-sodden knickers to being free to scream an orgasm, as I choose. Real life is very different from the fantasy world.
As much as I enjoy the humiliating objectification fantasies I create, and those I’ve chosen to share with you here on the blog, I severely doubt I’d ever consider attempting any of them in real life. It’s all the sadistic action my masochistic mind loves to hate to love.
Inclusion In My Sex Life
Although I’d never want any of my humiliation & objectification fantasies to become reality, there are ways in which that kink becomes evident in my sex life and sexual needs.
- Dominant & submissive sexual roleplay, often via the perversely nurturing roles of DD/lg kink
- ‘Abuse’ such as name-calling and hair pulling
- Having my bottom spanked –and in times of high arousal, vulva spanks
- Gangbang roleplay with multiple holes filled – DP with the extra option of a dildo gag
- Loss of control but in a safe, consensual way – bondage and mouth gags
- ‘Made’ to ask permission before I orgasm
- Public play flirtation, through wearing an anal plug/nipple clamps/rope harness beneath clothes for him while out in public, or the risk element of not wearing any underwear while out in public
We enjoy discovering ways in which both of our private fantasies can be satisfied to a still acceptable level within our sex life. Although our boundaries and limits can change over the years, we’re still careful not to cross any, whatever they may be at that time. We talk about what we find sexy a lot, so this ongoing communication helps us both to not fall into a sex life rut and to feel free to safely experiment with facets of fantasies that we can make ‘real’.
Face-to-face discussions about such things can be a little daunting (even when you’ve been together nearly a decade!); we find it much easier and more comfortable over a messenger like WhatsApp or Skype. Somehow it’s easier to be entirely honest about my depraved needs when my partner isn’t actually in the same room at the time. Communication from one perverted mind to another, with nothing yet spoken aloud.
Of course, reading my erotic stories here on the blog gives him a pretty good idea of what gets me off too…
I do wonder whether my love/hate relationship with humiliating objectification fantasies and kink is fairly common, or if it’s all just a me thing. Perhaps I’m just weird. Or it could be that humiliating objectification is the ultimate perversion for me, and therefore the depraved variations of it conjured by my sadistic mind is simply what turns me on the most –whereas it could be something entirely different for every other person.
One person’s forever fantasy could be another person’s daily reality. It’s not necessarily that YKINMK, but your kink may not be my acceptable reality –but still provides me with powerful mental stimulation and overwhelming orgasms without a word of them ever having to be spoken aloud.
Dare to share your thoughts…
- Do you have a love/hate relationship with any kink? Perhaps it’s something extremely taboo –no specific details required.
- Do you have fantasies which you will never, ever make reality –but which you regularly, privately enjoy?
- Does your mind tease you with these extreme situations, scenarios which repulse you and which you’d never consent to in real life, but which fuel your most explosive orgasms?
Looking forward to your comments below.
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