Shower Sex: Is It Worth The Hassle?
By Cara Sutra
I’ve had some fantastic shower sex in the past. I’ve also had some pretty naff shower sex, and some shower sex which has been, quite frankly, dangerous. I’ve been thinking about shower sex recently because we’ve just moved into a sparkly new house, and have a couple of showers… one in the en-suite, and one over-bath in the family bathroom. Along with nostalgic memories of shower fun I’ve been thinking something else, too.
Is shower sex really worth the hassle?
Doing it in the shower always had a novelty appeal. The hot water pounding down, the slippery lather, the fact that you can get as filthy as you want (spit, piss, whatever) and it’s washed away instantly. Back in the honeymoon period of my relationship with my partner, we had sex in the shower fairly regularly. It’s not that we don’t want to have hot, wet, soapy sex any more, though; it’s more that back then we had a large walk-in shower. There was simply more room, which made shower sex much more comfortable.
In our last home, space in the shower was limited. In fact, that’s the understatement of the year; I could barely turn around in the en-suite shower even when alone in there, and trying to get sexy in an over-bath shower just doesn’t feel the same somehow.
Now we’ve moved, and although I’m still unconvinced about trying the over-bath shower, the en-suite cubicle is larger and there’s a lovely waterfall showerhead. Everything is brand new as well, rather than the desperately 70s décor of the last place. I do love a brand new bathroom. Perhaps it’s time to revisit our shower sex fun times.
Let me consider the pros and cons, from my shower sex experiences:
What’s great about shower sex
- The intimacy of sharing the wetness and warmth
- Washing each other is a fun but also practical form of foreplay
- No matter how filthy you both get, it’s easy (and fun) to get clean again immediately
- If you share the house with others, it’s somewhere with privacy & a lockable door
- Having sex someplace other than in your bed can be exciting & rejuvenating for your sex life
What’s not so great about shower sex
- Showers can be quite small so you don’t have much room to manoeuvre
- Soapy lather feels lovely but slipperiness + tiles is a health & safety nightmare
- If you need to use condoms, they can be difficult to put on in the shower
- It takes practice getting the angles for comfortable penetration right while you’re both stood up & there’s not much room to bend over
- If you need to steady yourself during foreplay, sex or after climax, there might not be much you can safely hold on to
As you can see, it’s not all steamy cosy romance when it comes to the practicalities and realities of shower sex. The movies might make out that you’ll both be entirely comfortable, have enough room to try 58 different sex positions and at no point will anyone slip over and smash their knee into the tiles, but it’s just not the case. As I’ve mentioned above, I really advise having a less than serious attitude when it comes to shower sex. Take it easy, and keep in mind that the first few tries might end with bruised shins, someone slipping over, not being able to achieve penetration (if that’s what you’re after) and at least one if not both of you dissolving into a fit of giggles over the whole thing.
So how can you improve your chances?
There was a range called Sex in the Shower made by Sportsheets some time ago which was basically hand rails and foot supports and that sort of thing. They twist-vacu sealed on to the smooth bathroom surface, giving you and your chosen partner some safe rails to hold on to so you can more easily and comfortably achieve happy shower sex. If you’ve got the money to spend on them, the room to put them up in your shower and (if you’ve got a family) don’t mind taking the more obvious ones down after each shower sex sesh, then they’re probably great. The thing about sex is that it’s not always planned. What about when you just want to take advantage of that spur of the moment desire without having to fix all the safety rails in place for 10 minutes first?
It’s important to remember that you really are having sex in a very different place and environment to your bed. The bed is supposed to be comfortable, it’s where you sleep. There’s room to move, it’s comfy to lie on/kneel on and everything’s pretty soft and cosy. The shower is a very different arena, with limited room, hard surfaces, the introduction of vision-limiting hot water into the mix as well as slippery soapy substances. Don’t rush into anything; take your time and if something doesn’t feel safe or comfortable, don’t be afraid to say so and try it a different way – or just finish washing and carry on in bed when you’re both semi-dry.
Silicone lube is often touted as the sex essential when it comes to friction-free bath and shower sex fun. Silicone lube doesn’t dissipate with water, so it will respond as lubricant even when you’re in the shower. This is all well and good, until you realise that staying slippery maybe isn’t the best thing in place which is surrounded by very hard surfaces and perhaps has a limited (if any) number of hand-holds to keep you upright. And if you do reach out to a rail for support, do you really want to have a still-slippery hand when you do it? I don’t.
I get by without using lube even if I want to masturbate in the bath by myself – I’m not really a fan of silicone lube for personal use as I just prefer the feel of water based – and I don’t want to add the risk of using it for shower sex with my partner, either. As my partner and I are fluid-bonded we have just used a bit of saliva if needed, and when I we’ve had shower sex in the past I was using oral contraception – no condoms.
If you need to use safe sex barrier methods during sex with your partner, whether that’s for contraceptive purposes or because they’re a new partner and you’re being safe all round, then penetrative vaginal/anal/oral shower sex isn’t the easiest and most comfortable choice. That’s not to say you can’t have any fun in the shower, but I’d recommend using the shower as an intimate, mood-enhancing foreplay which has the added bonus of making sure you’re both entirely clean, before moving proceedings to a drier, more comfortable place where you can easily reach and include safe sex barriers such as condoms and/or dental dams as required.
Shower sex is definitely worth the hassle – IF you bear in mind the limitations and safety aspects compared to traditional bed sex. A different location doesn’t just mean exciting new surroundings and that excitement of doing it somewhere new; there are various factors to consider such as safe sex, comfortable positioning, if you need lubrication, if you’d like to include sex toys and making sure no-one slips over or gets hurt in some way.
I’d be interested in hearing your anecdotes, tips and advice in the comments below too.
Now you’ll have to excuse me – I’m going to grab several towels and make sure the bathroom is clutter-free ready for a sexy shared shower this evening…
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