BDSM Advice

My BDSM advice articles are here to give you the low down on everything kink-related. The world of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism is enormous. There are just so many kinks, fetishes, interests and D/s orientations of the consenting adults involved. BDSM newbies tend to have their curiosity piqued by something that arouses their kinky interest in the media, such as a bondage scene in an erotic book or movie, or bondage sex toys advertised on TV. Perhaps you’re in a relationship with someone who is already ‘into’ BDSM and you’d like to try it too, or maybe it’s a new interest both of you have decided you’re ready to explore. My beginners to bondage features are very popular, and I’ve written plenty about spanking and general BDSM safety advice too. From time to time I get specific questions from readers whether they’re BDSM beginners or veteran kinksters. I answer these honestly and as thoroughly as I can based on my own experiences and research, within various BDSM advice features. As I’m trying to provide a comprehensive guide to BDSM here on the Cara Sutra sex blog, I will often tackle a specific kink or fetish in its own dedicated post, such as forced orgasms, watersports & piss play, and the adult baby fetish. If there is an area of BDSM that I haven’t covered here, or if you have a specific kink-related question you’d like answered in full here on the blog (can be anonymous), then please get in touch and I’ll do my best to help. I hope you enjoy reading all my BDSM advice posts.

How I Dominate My Slaves: Domme Point Of View

How people perceive my domination, and the reality of it, is something which has fascinated me for some time. You would be amazed at some of the comments directed my way over the years simply for the ways in which I choose to enjoy my natural dominance, as well as how my actively consenting submissives enjoy it, too. Some of these comments are borne from ignorance, some from jealousy, some from malice, and others simply because the person spoke without properly thinking it all through.

Penis Chastity Devices Guide

Whether you’re looking for your first chastity device, or seeking to add a chastity cage to your *ahem* growing collection, it can be baffling when you realise just how many variants are available. This is particularly the case for lock-up fans who don’t have a Keyholder/Mistress/Top to guide them, and simply wish to explore chastity fetish by themselves. Welcome to my big guide to penis chastity devices!

Forced Orgasms: What Are They & Why Do People Enjoy Them?

I love the freedom to touch myself whenever I want –and I make the most of that freedom, as you can see by the thousands of sex toy reviews and erotic articles here on the blog. Chastity is definitely not for me, when I'm the one locked up I mean. How about the flip side of chastity: forced orgasms? There's still the element of external control -but rather than orgasm denial, I would be (consensually, of course) forced to orgasm over and over.

Kinky Watersports: Golden Showers & Piss Play Guide

Does mention of watersports conjure up innocent images of surfing and jet skis -or raise a knowing smirk? For the non-vanilla activity, "golden showers" is probably a more familiar term to most thanks to tabloid coverage of various celebrity/political scandals, as well as good old internet porn.
Understanding Adult Babies And The Adult Baby Fetish

Adult Baby Diaper Lovers (ABDL): Kinky Grown-Up Babies Fetish

Cards on the table: this is not my kink. Is it yours? As someone with an interest in another area of ageplay, I imagine that the adult baby fetish is viewed as extremely niche and is often misunderstood. Perhaps feared a little –even within the BDSM sphere.

Bound To Serve As A Sex Slave

After several months' training, both mental and physical, her slave was able to handle one of her ferocious whippings simply through tears, gritted teeth and with only a few sweary slip-ups. He'd learnt that lesson fast, she thought, her smile widening even further. An extra 5 minutes lashing for every curse he spat in her direction soon had him holding his tongue.

What Is FemDom? Is It The BDSM Scene Outsider?

FemDom is the Marmite of the BDSM world. Female Domination usually elicits a response firmly on one end of the scale or the other: yes please! or ...um, no thanks. While female submission has been warmly embraced by the masses, with sexualised imagery of restrained women now prevalent even in mainstream music and film media, FemDom is still viewed as extremely niche.  

Dacryphilia: Turned On By Crying & Tears

As the barrier crashes down within him, crumbling to reveal his true self, tears then finally begin to form. I see the subtlest glint and can't help wetting my own lips with my tongue in anticipation –in between my incessant tirade, the code to unlock his complete submissive self.  

Coming Full Circle

The spotlight centred on my naked, kneeling body is bright enough to just reveal the dark forms stood in a circle surrounding me. I feel the men's presence, rather than see them; I'm seeing the scene through my mind's eye in any case, with my eyes squeezed tightly closed, blocking out reality, even while it commands my full sensory attention. 

The Wedding: What’s Yours Is Mine

The whispers of those seated at the back were muffled by the whoops surrounding the drawn-out kiss of joy at the altar, until a natural settling revealed the click-clack of my heels on the stone. A wave of anxious whispers and angry mutters accompanied my approach to the still lost-in-each-other bride and groom, which turned to gasps of shock as I undid and threw off the hideous overcoat without breaking stride. 

What’s The Difference Between Kink And Fetish?

With increasing awareness of and interest in BDSM, much of the related jargon and terms have made their way into common parlance. Two such words are 'kink' and 'fetish'. They're often used interchangeably, but as they are two different words it's natural to wonder what the actual meanings are.

Submission Is Not A Sign Of Weakness – Quite The Opposite

Is submission a sign of weakness? Many are fooled into thinking so. I'm talking about submission in sexual or power exchange terms; submission as part of BDSM. 

London Fuck Doll: Fucked, Denied, Satisfied

I moaned aloud as he took me by the shoulders and drove the full length of his cock deep into my achingly hungry pussy. My slippery, soft labia were spread apart as they massaged his welcome penetration. My head turned to the side, flat on the bed as he pinned it there with his heavy hand in my hair, he rammed his cock into me repeatedly, frenziedly. This wasn't love-making. This was primitive, carnal rutting.

No Going Back

He was helpless. There was no going back.

Just An Hour

It was just an hour from when I got her message to when I arrived. Just an hour. Now, looking back, it seems almost impossible that there was just an hour of intermission between my old life to my new reality.

Chastity Cage Keyholding Services

By Cara Sutra: I've written various articles on the subject. What I get out of locking a guy up in a chastity cage. Female chastity. Slaves have written their experiences, and there are several chastity device reviews. This year, I'm focusing on Keyholding services.

Watching My Boyfriend Suck Another Man’s Cock

His mouth, with all its masculine bearded surround, enveloping the cock tip. My boyfriend's lips forming the O around the collar of his friend's dick, as if it were second nature. I moistened my own lips, as if in readiness. I could almost taste and feel every millimetre for myself, so familiar were the actions. I've sucked cock a thousand times and know the tricks. What I didn't know was that I'd been giving my boyfriend lessons.

What Are Limits In BDSM?

What are BDSM limits? And, in a BDSM relationship, is pushing limits OK? Or should both partners just find out what makes them tick and keep right on doing those things without moving the goalposts?

Chastity Release – Unlocking & Orgasm

He looked up at me from where he knelt on the kitchen floor, a solitary tear running down his defeated face. That just made my cunt even wetter in beautifully cruel empathy. Finally, he’d completed the distasteful task. His expert tongue protruded, but not out of rudeness or as a plea for pussy. On the tip was a small, very shiny key.

Chastity Release – Her Icy Response

Tilting his chin up so I could look into his embarrassed face properly, I relished the fight between humiliation, hate and the most intense arousal in his eyes. My other hand reached down and felt the weight of his chastity locked cock in my hands. He jumped as my cool hands came into contact with his hot straining balls under the metal device.