Kinky Punishment: Spanking, Whips, Crops & Canes

Kinky Punishment: Spanking, Whips, Crops & Canes

Kinky punishment (aka corporal punishment) for adult psychological and sexual fulfilment still hasn’t been fully accepted in the mainstream mindset as being just as ‘everyday’ a bedroom activity as blowjobs, hand jobs and penis-in-vagina sex. The truth of the matter is that a whole LOAD of people around the world absolutely love sexy spanking activities, often opting for this type of sexual satisfaction over the vanilla activities just mentioned. I’d like to talk a little more about why we love sexy punishment via spanking, whips, crops & canes here today, and how it really hits our spot. Perhaps this intimate revelation will prompt more people out there to accept spanking and similar as being just as ‘acceptable’ as ‘regular’ sex antics, instead of mentally filing such habits as perverted, deviant and downright weird.

What Is Corporal Punishment?

Not heard this term before? Corporal punishment is the catch-all label for striking someone as punishment. Traditionally this was used most often when talking about spanking children. Those terrible old days when innocent children would be struck by people meant to be looking after them, like nannies or teachers at school, under the label of ‘discipline’. I don’t agree with the practice myself -but I know being dead-set against it is still controversial, for some reason, in some circles. Spanking may have been done with a hand while the person was over a knee, or using some form of implement like a slipper, belt, birch (branch), cane or ruler.

As is often the case in adult kinky sex interests, an activity which is totally wrong, immoral and unethical in a non-consensual environment becomes alluring, desirable and arousing when indulged in by consenting adults. An adult submitting to being spanked over the knee by another adult is so outrageously different to what most people expect of adult behaviour and everyday life, that the intrinsic shock value becomes a perversely fulfilling part of the activity. In addition, the punishing element of being struck consensually can feel psychologically satisfying, regardless of the physical pain endured, leading to a lasting sense of catharsis which is almost addictive.

Hence, there are many adults out there who love being sexily spanked and similar by another kink-interested adult, but the activity is obviously often seen as ‘extreme’ and kept filed under ‘alternative’ rather than being accepted as a mainstream sex activity.

The Types We Love

With what it is and why it’s awesome out of the way, I can begin to reveal what types of sexy corporal punishment my partner and I love, and why.

Over The Knee (OTK) Hand Spanking

Nakedly climbing into position over his lap, presenting my bare arse to him for his cruel attentions, is an act of submission. It feels thrillingly degrading and perverse in itself, then when his bare hand finally connects with my buttocks with a satisfyingly loud smack, I feel perfectly right and perfectly wrong all at once. Spanking results in a kinky cocktail of emotions which are satisfying to a deeper level than the superficial pain endured to unlock them.

His teasing before, during or after the vicious slaps -by exploring outside then between my vulval folds with his masterful fingers- help keep my arousal piqued and my body ready receive whatever he believes it deserves.

Pussy Spanks

In a similar way to traditional OTK spanking, he gives my pussy spanks with his generous hand. Obviously, these can’t be as vicious as the slaps to my fleshy rear, but are still delivered in effective short, sharp shocks. These catch the edge of my clitoris or are directly over it at times, which is extremely stimulating once I’m in the right mind-set and my body is fully aroused. Again, he tempers the pain and extreme activity by dipping his fingers inside me to keep my arousal levels fuelled and able to tolerate the harsh spanking.

I haven’t been as lucky as one of my girl lovers, who I was able to bring to orgasm by spanking her pussy (what a memory), but I still enjoy the vulnerability and trust of opening myself up for him this way. Not to mention the extreme sensations pussy spanking elicits.

Paddling 

When we do decide to move away from simply using his hand to dish up some sexy corporal punishment, another favourite method is paddling. This is simply using a paddle implement to deliver the cruel kinky smacks, giving his hand a rest while giving me a different spanking sensation.

He keeps paddling to my fleshy areas for safety; my buttocks or backs of my thighs. It results in such a beautiful dark pink tinge to my skin which can end up feeling on fire it gets that inflamed by the sharp stimulation and sensation. Paddling is also an effective way to break down cellulite as well – a kinky bonus!

Flogging 

We (ok, I) much prefer floggers to whips, because landing several tails rather than a single tail feels less vicious yet still satisfyingly stingy. I really don’t do canes (receiving) either! I love the swish a multi-tail implement has as well, not to mention the little ‘zips’ through the air when he wields it quickly to land one of those stinging blows.

Floggers are versatile in that they can be used to lightly slap against, or the tails can be softly drizzled over the skin, making them an excellent warm-up item.

Using a flogger lightly after a more extreme spanking or paddling can also feel exquisitely tortuous and cruel, prolonging the kinky element of what is a highly arousing and sensual play session

What We Get Out Of It

Our sexy corporal punishment sessions aren’t just about two people getting together for some ‘alternative’ sex acts. Nothing wrong with that of course, if that’s what you enjoy, it’s just not where it’s at for my partner and I. We find that indulging in our respective needs when it comes to sexy spanking in the bedroom (and bathroom, and on the landing, and in the kitchen and sometimes in the laundry room) helps to keep the romantic element of our relationship alive. We’re both unashamedly kinky, and we need more than the peg-in-hole, friction element of penis-in-vagina sex in order to be fully satisfied from our physical times together as sexually and psychologically fulfilled adults.

Exposing my vulnerable side to him in a playfully submissive way for ‘bedroom bondage’ and ‘sexy spanking’ intensifies the intimacy between him and I. Opening yourself up mentally and physically to someone during a kinky corporal punishment session, consenting to those acts and trusting them to respect your limits and desire your fulfilment and satisfaction connects you to that person like nothing else. Enjoying sexy corporal punishment as a regular part of our sex life feeds the trust element of our relationship and helps keep us close and our romantic bond strong.

Preparing For A Corporal Punishment Session

I need to be mentally prepared for a sexy corporal punishment session, as well as physically prepared. Just like with any intimate activity, really. It’s important not to feel pressured, obligated or otherwise ‘just doing it’ or ‘going along with it’ – active consent is an absolute must. On a very basic level, for me, if I am not fully ‘there’ mentally before a sexy spanking sesh then I just won’t enjoy it or get the fulfilment I’m seeking. Both of us need to be actively consenting and fully prepared for it before we begin.

Then there are the practical aspects. Is there enough time for what we want to do? I can’t fully relax if it all feels rushed. I can’t lose myself in the beautiful, intense, vulnerable moments of the session if I have a mental stopwatch on the go or I’m worried about a tap at the door any minute. Are we able to enjoy the session as freely as possible, with regards to noise levels, space and other comfort needs? I’ve written previously about the joys of silent sex, but it’s very difficult to keep sexy corporal punishment on the down-low, because of the natural noises spanking and suchlike produces –never mind the involuntary yelps and squeals from me.

Finally, is everything close at hand that we need, such as spanking implements, sex towels, wipes, soothing creams, lube, sex toys, bondage toys and anything else we might fancy grabbing during the session? And for safety, we always of course have a safeword set and traffic lights are in play.

Our Favourite Spanking Toys

With such a huge variety of sexy corporal punishment implements out there to choose from, in terms of types, brands, size and materials, it can be difficult to know what you’d enjoy using. Or what you’d enjoy being used on you, if you’re at that end of the whip. You can even buy them internationally and go for a fruta BDSM, if Italian brands are your thing.

Here’s what we enjoy using from our well-stocked spanking toy kit:

Spanking Paddles

Sportsheets Classic Paddle – We have the classic rectangular padde and it does the job very well.
Read our Sportsheets reviews

House of Eros Long Wooden Tattoo Dragon Paddle – This heavyweight paddle is well-made, gorgeous and lands a hefty thump.
Read our House of Eros reviews

Bondage Boutique Split Leather Paddle – A ‘tawse’ shaped paddle which is lightweight, easy to wield and can deliver a surprising sting.
Our Bondage Boutique reviews

Jack Boot Paddle – We just love the kinky and novelty factor of a boot sole paddle! This paddle is a great size, slim enough in depth to be easy to wield and delivers a fantastic thwack.
Read our Jack Boot Paddle review

Pictured: The Loving Joy Bound Noir Collection

You can also click to read all our spanking paddle reviews

Floggers

Kink Craft Flogger – I have a pair of these handcrafted paracord floggers made and sold by Kink Craft, and they have a beautifully heavy swish delivering your choice of punishing smack or a gentle tease.
Read our Kink Craft reviews

House of Eros Heavy Weight Flogger – A beautiful traditional heavy flogger made to exceptionally high quality. A kinky investment piece.
Read our House of Eros reviews

Icicles 38 Glass Dildo Whip (Flogger) –
Read our Icicles reviews

Pictured: The Bondara Lair Collection

Click to read our BDSM flogger reviews

The Importance Of Aftercare

After opening myself up for his cruel spanking attentions, I can feel at my absolute most vulnerable and raw. My skin is sore, aflame and sometimes bruised, and my mind is awash with emotion and trying to find the harmonic balance between physical pain and psychological fulfilment. In this time, right after the hitting ends, it’s important to realise the impact of any subsequent actions. The importance of aftercare.

I am physically hurting and emotionally vulnerable. I’m often crying; anything from silent tears running down my cheeks to ugly, racking sobs. This part of the spanking session is all part of the fully cathartic and overall enjoyable process I actively consent to.

Just as a hypnotherapy client needs guidance and support to return to a state of full consciousness, so too with the deeply intense state corporal punishment often induces. I can find myself in a trance-like state, caught in limbo between the purity of cleansing pain combined with heightened sexual arousal, and my everyday reality. I need his soft, caring physical touch, his warm reassuring embrace and calm words, to gently guide me back from that place until I’m able to once again see things properly. Both literally and figuratively speaking.

It can be emotionally damaging and traumatising to abandon a person in the depths of subspace without any comfort, reassurance and support to return to their everyday self – aftercare should be as much a part of the session as the type of corporal punishment you both enjoy.

Give It A Try

I hope this little insight into our sexy corporal punishment play frolics has given you a new perspective on spanking and how it’s not ‘weird’ or ‘deviant’ at all. Unless you enjoy those labels in a positive way, of course! I’d also like to think I’ve been able to motivate some of my readers out there to give safe, sexy spanking a try.

With clear communication about boundaries and what you’d both enjoy, a set safe word and when the time and situation is right, you could move beyond your usual sexy time routines and discover new and exciting ways to deeply connect with your partner and reignite the passion in your relationship.

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