Cara Sutra Sex Blog

Sex advice, pleasure guides, erotic stories and intimacy insights - all in one place.

Welcome to my main blog hub on Cara Sutra. This is where my guides, personal essays, relationship reflections, sex advice, erotic fiction, kink-aware discussions and behind-the-scenes posts all live together, in date order. If you landed here from search and you are looking for real-world, sex positive writing that does not talk down to you, you are in the right place. This archive brings together decades of writing across sexuality, relationships, pleasure and personal experience, with hundreds of articles spanning sex, intimacy and real-life experience.

Sex Advice, Pleasure Guides and Real-Life Intimacy

This category gathers my non-review content across sexuality, confidence, communication and connection. Some posts are practical and straight to the point, others are personal and reflective, and some are sensual and story-led. The goal is the same: to help you explore pleasure and intimacy in a way that feels safe, informed, and actually doable in real life.

What You Can Expect From the Cara Sutra Blog

  • Practical sex advice and how-to guides you can use without needing a handbook and a spotlight
  • Pleasure education grounded in anatomy, consent and real experience, not judgement or performance
  • Intimacy and relationship insights - communication, desire shifts, libido wobbles, and everything in between
  • Kink-aware, consent-forward discussions that keep emotional safety in the frame
  • Sensual and erotic stories exploring fantasy, desire and emotional intimacy
  • Personal essays and honest life updates when the story behind the advice matters

Where To Start

Not sure what you are after yet? Here are a few simple ways to explore.

  • For practical help, look for guide-style posts with clear steps and takeaways
  • Personal essays and relationship reflections are a good place to begin when you want connection or reassurance
  • Curious about kink? Start with posts focused on consent, communication, power dynamics and emotional aftercare
  • Prefer to explore freely? Scroll and follow whatever catches your attention - there are plenty of rabbit holes here

My Approach

I write from lived experience, with warmth and straight talk, and I don't pretend sex is one-size-fits-all. Bodies vary. Histories vary. Energy, confidence, hormones, disability, stress, trauma, ageing, parenting, identity - it all shows up in intimacy, whether we want it to or not.

This blog focuses on the real version of sexuality, not the polished one.

Featured Topics

Browse sex advice, pleasure guides, erotic stories and relationship topics to jump straight to what interests you most.


Scroll down to read the latest posts from the Cara Sutra blog and discover new ideas, insights and intimate conversations.

How to Jelq: Can Jelqing Enlarge Your Penis?

Got a penis? Want a bigger one? Who doesn’t, right? In my recent features showcasing the Bathmate penis pumps collection and my main penis pumps guide, I mentioned a penis enlargement technique called jelqing. Can jelqing enlarge your penis? In today’s sexual health article, I discuss the jelqing technique, covering how to jelq, if jelqing can really give you a bigger cock - and any potential side effects.

My Sobriety: Choosing the Sober Life When You’re Not an Alcoholic

Now I’ve leapt off the booze merry-go-round, I see alcohol for what it really is, in the stark and sober light of day.

Being deaf: High-Frequency Hearing Loss & Me

I’m not sure how may of my readers know this, but I’m deaf. Not 100% deaf, but certainly enough deafness that it impacts my everyday life.

Perimenopause Update 2024: The Year I Fought Back & Changed My Life

2024 has been the year I fought back against the tricky beast of perimenopause, but the fight has taken a different form to my usual stubbornly defiant style of battle. I now understand why they call it the change; not just because of the physical changes imposed upon me, but because I have had to change how I live in the everyday, and the change has been both monumental and magnificent.

Temperature Play in the Bedroom: Blow Hot and Cold for Pleasure

As the darker nights of autumn and the frosty chill of winter sets in, staying cosy at home and enjoying the romance of candles or fairy lights is extremely appealing. Today I want to share my guide to temperature play in the bedroom, advice which will help you blow hot & cold during sex no matter what the weather is like outside your bedroom window.

How to Buy Comfortable Sexy Lingerie That Feels Sensational

With some shops offering lingerie sets in dress sizes (which may or may not resemble the actual size stated), and others opting for the vague ‘small, medium and large’ style sizing, buying lingerie that fits and flatters your body can feel like an impossible task. Welcome to my guide to buying comfortable sexy lingerie...

Nipple Play Toys Guide & Our Nipple Clamp Reviews

In today’s guide, I am exploring this intriguing area of sexuality, and the nipple play toys that can maximise your pleasure during solo or shared sexual playtimes. As well as discovering the various types of nipple stim toys (tickle, suck or pinch), you will find links to helpful nipple clamp reviews from the community and myself.

How Women Get Pleasure From Pegging and Strap-On Sex

I don’t enjoy a slave’s physical stimulation from being anally pegged, it is more about a display of my power as the Top, a physical conquest of their body as well as their mind, plus there is always a chastity requirement in place with my submissives so they are not allowed to reach or experience orgasm.

Forniphilia: The Human Furniture Fetish

I wanted to write about being treated like furniture in the BDSM world not only because I have a personal interest in this kink, but also to help you understand the human furniture fetish from both the rigger and recipient’s point of view.

Guide to Prostate Massagers & P-Spot Toys

Although I spoke briefly about P-spot stimulation devices in my recent blog post, today I want to offer a deep delve into prostate toys. Welcome to my guide to prostate massagers, where I’ll outline what specifically makes a toy a prostate massager and the most effective P-spot toys available.

Prostate Milking Guide: Health Benefits and P-Spot Stimulation

Last Updated: September 2025 - Stimulation of this fascinating part of the anatomy can not only lead to the most powerful orgasms you’ve ever had, but there are also various health benefits as a bonus. Welcome to your simple guide to prostate milking, in which I’ll also examine the potential health benefits of P-spot stimulation.

Velvet Thruster Thrusting Dildos Prime Silicone Tops Collection

The Velvet Thruster Thrusting Dildo is ingeniously modular, meaning you can buy the base toy and choose which of the silicone attachments/toppers you’d like to use with it. There’s a wide variety of silicone tops to choose from, and the generous team sent me the whole collection to try out. Welcome to my Velvet Thruster Thrusting Dildos Prime Silicone Tops Collection showcase!

Lovehoney Sex Toy Advent Calendars 2024 (12 & 24 Day Options Available)

Are you ready for the sexiest Christmas countdown ever? Lovehoney have launched their brand-new sex toy advent calendars for 2024, and I’m excited to share all the exquisitely erotic details with you! The star of the show this year is the Lovehoney 24-Day Womanizer Sex Toy Advent Calendar 2024.

Adult Halloween Party Games: Spooky Game Ideas for Grown-Ups

For all those planning a Halloween party for their adult friends, I thought I’d ‘treat’ you to some of my favourite adult Halloween party games. These games are perfect for those who are a little older, but can be adapted for younger children to play too. Enjoy!
Sexy Halloween Ideas for Couples

How To Have A Sexy Halloween: Flirty Ideas for Couples, Solo & At Home

Sexing up seasonal events is just so much fun! Halloween is no exception thanks to the wicked fun and seductive costumes this time of year traditionally offers. Do you need some saucy Samhain inspiration? Then you’re in luck… read on to discover how to have a sexy Halloween – whether you're single or part of a couple.

Sexy Halloween Costumes Guide: Flirty & Outrageous October Outfits

Welcome to my Sexiest Halloween Costumes Guide! If you're struggling to decide between witchy, vampy or seductively feline dressing-up outfits for this spooky time of year, my saucy Halloween outfits 101 is here to help. Below you'll discover a showcase of some breathtakingly sexy Halloween costume ideas, at great prices & with discreet delivery from your favourite online adult retailers.

Halloween Sex Toys & Spooky Pleasure Guide: The Best Kinky Treats for October

Halloween sex toys are the perfect excuse for spooky pleasure. In this updated guide I round up glow-in-the-dark treats, monster dildos, app-control thrills, BDSM and e-stim ideas, plus hands-free machines for a deliciously wicked night in.

How To Write Erotic Fiction & Sexy Stories

I love to encourage people to write. It’s a wonderful creative release and there’s a great sense of achievement when you’ve got a piece of fiction in front of you that you’re proud of. It’s all the better if that story is sexy. I’m an erotica author; I’ve got to say that. Writing erotic fiction with great sex scenes is not as easy as you might think, so I’m here to give you some pointers to help you avoid the pit holes and find your way to writing something orgasmically good.

The Best Erotic Authors: My Top 5 Sexy Story Writers

There doesn’t seem to be an end to the amount of erotic fiction novels, short stories and flash fiction being published across various platforms. Perhaps it will help you if I share some of my favourites? This feature introduces my top 5 sexy story writers - in my opinion the best erotic authors around - as well as their bestselling erotica books and where to buy them.

8 Reasons Why You Should Read Erotic Books

What about the saucy sizzle of erotica? Should you take them seriously as a literary option? Also, can erotic books improve your sex life? Absolutely. Read on to discover 8 reasons why you should read erotic books.