Doc Johnson Vibrating Dual Dancing Bullets Review
By Captain Meow
I had been planning on trying love eggs for a while now as I liked the idea of my partner being able to take control of my toys and use them on me. When I came across the Doc Johnson Vibrating Dual Dancing Bullets on Lovehoney, it looked like The Perfect Egg had materialized in front of me: it claims to be powerful, has long cords, is quiet, and has a simple enough dial to operate. To top it off, there are two eggs, which meant they could be used for simultaneous external and internal stimulation, or even on both my partner and me! At just about £15, I figured there was nothing to lose.
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These eggs run on 2 AA batteries (these are not included in the order) that sit in the back of the controller. The controller itself is about 4 inches in length with a speed dial to turn it on, off, and adjust speed settings. The eggs are 2 inches in length and 3. 1 inches in circumference. All of them are made of plastic with a glossy, reflective finish. A cord about 20 inches long connects the eggs to the controller.
The Doc Johnson Vibrating Dual Dancing Bullets came in a plastic packaging with a clear window to showcase the product. There were no instructions in or on the packaging, but it’s a simple enough toy to operate unassisted. Holding it in my hands, it felt like a low quality product: it was very light and just seemed a little tacky. I have definitely had toys in this price range that were better built. The opening to the battery compartment on the back of the controller appeared quite flimsy as well, and I was very cautious with it lest I break it before I had even started!
As I turned the Doc Johnson Vibrating Dual Dancing Bullets on in my hand, the first thing I noticed was that it was very quiet (although when both eggs touched each other, they obviously clattered off quite noisily). This was immediately followed by a realization that the vibrations felt very weak. I’m a bit of a power queen, so this was quite a concern. Nonetheless, I decided to give it a go and gradually crank the speed up. Or at least that was the plan.
As I placed one egg on my clitoris, I did not feel anything. I turned the dial to medium speed, and barely felt the vibrations. I thought that maybe it needed a little help from its dancing partner, and placed the other egg on my vulva. Still barely any sensation. I cranked the dial all the way to the end, and it felt like the lower settings of a bullet I own.
Thinking that maybe I was rushing into it, I decided to put it aside then and revisited it later in the day, when I was more aroused. Still nothing. So I removed the batteries, cleaned it up (it’s not waterproof, so no running it under the sink), repackaged it ready to be returned for a refund.
However, at this point I should add that despite being rather weak for me, I noticed that it had lovely rumbly vibrations, the kind that travels deep rather than the more superficial buzzy kinds that I tend to dislike.
This toy did not bring me much pleasure, but those who prefer milder, rumbly vibrations may benefit from it. Apart from solo play, I could probably see this being incorporated into the early bit of foreplay, or as something to use in conjunction with other toys.
Pros: Rumbly vibrations, easy to operate, two eggs which work in tandem
Cons: Cheap-looking, weak vibrations even at highest setting
– Captain Meow
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