Testing the System JO Cranberry Massage Glide Lube turned out to be quite a journey for me. I went from loving it, to rather blasé feelings, and ultimately now find it quite a chore to use! Never before has a lube started off so promising and ended up being overlooked in the end by my other options.
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The Packaging
I actually quite like the small size of the bottle I received, as it is both practical and would be good value for money. Often large bottles of lube can go bad if they aren’t used quick enough, but you won’t find that issue with this bottle. It’s especially useful as it’s a flavoured lube so you could have a few different flavoured ones open at once so you don’t get bored of the same flavour.
If you were planning a trip away, or are even looking for something to keep in your handbag, the 30ml System JO Cranberry Massage Glide Lube comes in an ideal and discreet size. It is also marketed as a tattoo/skin moisturiser so if somebody did see it they wouldn’t automatically think lube.
I like the simple press top lid, as it is easy to use whether your hands are wet or dry, and even if it’s dark. It is also easy to wipe clean to prevent the build up of dry lube around the lid.
The Texture
I found the System JO Cranberry Massage Glide Lube to be quite watery when first dispensed, which often caused the lube to run everywhere and create quite a wet mess! It certainly spreads well, and a small amount is all that is needed to coat the penis. I mainly used the lube for oral sex, involving hand jobs, and as a massage “oil”.
When using my hands, I found that the lube only lasted a matter of minutes before it became greasy but slightly tacky to touch. It was almost as if it had all soaked into the penis, but not my hands. I needed to top up the lube 2 or 3 times per session to keep the friction at bay.
For oral sex, the lube was hit and miss. Whilst my saliva did its best to revive the water based lube, I still needed a sneaky top up. During oral the penis was lubricated enough for a smooth time, but the trouble appeared afterwards.
Upon finishing you cannot get away from the fact that this lube is so greasy that your lips are smothered in it. I felt as though I had just eaten a huge juicy burger! Not only were my lips greasy, but also very sticky as half of my hair found out! Tying your hair back is a definite must if you are using this lube for oral!
Heading to the toilet afterwards, I found it incredibly hard to lose the greasy feeling from both my lips and my hands. Even after a good scrubbing I could still feel it. My husband commented that it was even harder to remove from himself!
When we used the System JO Cranberry Massage Glide Lube on our skin (I don’t have any tattoos but tbh I wouldn’t put this stuff anywhere near a fresh tattoo as suggested, based on the added scented ingredients and the texture of it) it felt good whilst we were being massaged, but again left our skin feeling rather slimy and didn’t seem to soak in and moisturise.
Flavour
I really enjoyed the flavour of the System JO Cranberry Massage Glide Lube, as it was a subtle taste rather than a sickly sweet masking taste. I would describe the flavour as “fruity” and “refreshingly” although I wouldn’t recognise it as cranberry in a blindfold test. I think that is a positive as it is a rather neutral but pleasant taste that most people might enjoy. You can still taste the natural flavour underneath though so I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone who hates the taste of semen and needs a strong flavoured lube.
Overall
When I first tested the System JO Cranberry Massage Glide Lube I loved the flavour of it, and overlooked the greasiness as that seems to be quite common amongst flavoured lubes (they either go greasy or very tacky!). As I used it more I found the texture to be more and more off putting. I wouldn’t feel comfortable using it for anal sex as it doesn’t last long enough to be comfortable. In terms of vaginal use, although I’m not comfortable using flavoured/scented lubes, the texture wasn’t as issue as the vagina is self lubricating so reapplication wasn’t necessary.
I would give this System JO Cranberry Massage Glide Lube a 4/10 because it tastes nice and the bottle is convenient, but it’s too greasy, messy and not long lasting enough to replace my go to lube!
– JM88
Thanks to Pleasure Panel reviewer JM88 for this review of the System JO Cranberry Massage Glide Lube All-In-One (currently £4.99 for 30ml)
This massage oil/lube was sent free of charge, in exchange for a fair and honest review by the Pleasure Panel. Shop more System JO Lubricants here.
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