By Cameryn Moore A lot of the advice out there about dirty talk treats it as a sort of accessory to “real sex”. It’s like putting a feather boa on: it’s all fun and tickly and exotic for maybe ten minutes, but at some point you’re gonna wanna tear it off because it’s getting in the way of the good stuff...
By Cameryn Moore Calling someone greedy, for example, and making them beg desperately for getting fucked, this is a classic domination combo. The same derogatory names that really hurt on the playground—“fattie”, “sissy”, “faggot”, racial slurs—can be put to good use in humiliation scenes. Even calling a person’s junk something that normally squicks them out—“cunt” instead of “pussy”—can flip your partner into a different and sizzling-hot headspace.
By Cameryn Moore In my last column, I laid out a few ways and reasons for you to sound like yourself when you’re having sex. Today, I’m going to share with you some ways to sound like someone else, in a short discussion of the vocal aspects of role-play.
By Cameryn Moore “I want to learn how to talk dirty, but I don't want it to sound cheesy, you know what I mean?" I think I know what people mean, but for my own information-gathering purposes, I have started playing dumb with that question. No, I don’t know what you mean.
By Cameryn Moore Folks tell me all the time: “I don’t know how to talk dirty.” Not, “I’d like to learn to do it better,” but, “I don’t know how to do it at all.” Or they say it about their partner: “They’re just so quiet. How do I get them to talk a little?” So this month, I want to look at starting from scratch with dirty talk.
Fear of being foolish is the death of fun in a relationship. If you can’t just go for it, in sex or in anything, then your sex life is on the fast track to a funeral, and the part of you that wants to play—everyone has this part—that is dead, too. Rather than, or in addition to, more structured sexual experimentation—a la “7 Sex Positions Every Woman Must Try”—I encourage you to try bringing plain ol’ nonsexual play back into your life.
By Cameryn Moore: You've probably seen improvisers on TV, creating whole hilarious scenes on the spot, based on suggestions from the audience. They don't look like they're making anything up, right? That's because they practice. Since good role-play and dirty talk are almost entirely improvisation, you too can practice, using principles from improvisation as guidelines. I suggest starting with: "yes, and."
When they find out I’m a phone sex operator, a lot of people tell me they struggle with dirty talk: “I never know what to say.” Here’s the thing: dirty conversations are a lot like regular conversations, in that if you don’t know what to say, ask a question. You can get lots of useful information about your partner and what they want, if you ask questions in the right way.