Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream Review
Enjoy my review of the Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream from the 50 Shades Sensual Care Collection
You’ve surely all heard of the book – well, the trilogy – and now EL James is an award winning millionaire, having made her fame and fortune by writing the book that seems to have finally unlocked that bridge between vanilla and kink for so many people out there.
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Related: Read all our Fifty Shades of Grey reviews
It didn’t seem to take too long before the merchandise was manufactured and marketed, the best selling of which has to be the Fifty Shades of Grey Official Sex Toys Collection. The past few months have also seen the release of the Sensual Care Collection, an extension to the sex toy range. This is a selection of bedroom and romance products which are also inspired by the trilogy.
I was recently sent various products from the 50 Shades of Grey Sensual Care Collection, free of charge, in exchange for my fair and honest review. What follows is my review for the Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream.
Presentation
As with the rest of the range the packaging is pretty, themed with the Fifty Shades type, colouring and style and you get a little information leaflet in the box for your trouble. The tub itself is larger than I was expecting; the typical screw top plastic tub which is similar to Body Shop moisturisers or the like. You get 50ml in a tub.
I really wasn’t expecting much from the Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream. I haven’t heard of a cream being developed specifically for after spanking before; then again, I and most people I know quite like the incessant throb after a good spanking session!
If you don’t like the burn, why get spanked?
Heaven Scent
That conundrum aside, this is still my favourite product from the range so far. Not for its use on my behind after spanking (we will get to that in a moment) but because it smells so damn good. You know when you’re out and you catch the smell of a man’s aftershave that makes your knickers twitch? Yeah, that. I keep thinking ‘sandalwood’ even though it’s not in the list of ingredients.
As it contains Vitamin E this cream makes one of THE best handcreams I have ever tried, and I have tried handcreams from Lush and The Body Shop. It’s just so thick and luxurious. It also makes your hands smell of attractive man (win). This could have the added effect of getting you spanked by your partner… which I guess is why you’d need the after spanking cream. That’s the Circle of Spanking Life for you.
Post-Spank Sensations
Which comes to the after spanking part. I don’t know if it’s because I just have a huge fat arse or whether it’s because I just don’t get spanked right (after that comment I am sure I will find out later), but there was no ‘cooling’ effect that I could sense when this Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream was rubbed in after a spanking sesh. It felt good being massaged there though. Enjoy it… if you can persuade your spanker that you deserve cream rubbing in after spanking.
It all seems a bit … not kinky. More like erotic massage, if I am honest. But the ‘is Fifty Shades culture anything remotely like real BDSM’ argument is one for another day.
The tub of Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream will set you back a tenner, so I hope you like the smell as much as I do if you choose to buy your own. I am not one to be easily impressed by products so yes, I can see through the merchandise blag and the fact you’re paying for the particular brand and the themed packaging. I still stand by the fact that this is a lovely product even if I choose to use it as a luxury hand and body cream rather than specifically to cool my blushing rear after spanky times.
Ingredients
The ingredients are stated online as being 96% natural which is a pretty high percentage. If you want the full list, they are:
Deionised Water (Aqua), Helianthus Annuus Seed Oil (Sunflower Oil), Cetyl Alcohol, Glycerine, Cocos Nucifera Oil (Coconut Refined Oil), Cetearyl Alcohol, PEG-100 Stearate, Glyceryl Stearate, Theobroma Cacao Seed Butter (Cocobutter), Prunus Amygdalus Dulcis Oil (Almond Sweet Oil), Simmondsia Chinensis Seed Oil (Jojoba Oil), Arnica Montana Tincture, (Arnica Tincture (1:10)), Calendula Officinalis Flower Extract (Calendula extract (1:1)), Parfum, Chondrus Crispus Extract (Carageenan), Potassium Sorbate, Benzyl Alcohol, Phenoxyethanol, Tocopherol (Vitamin E Natural), Bisabolol, Butylphenyl methylpropional, Limonene, Alpha iso methyl ionone, Linalool, Coumarin, Evernia Prunastri (oakmoss), Citral. Product code FS40191.
Buy Yours
Ready to experience the unique sensations of having a post-spank cream applied by a loving Dominant hand? Buy your Fifty Shades of Grey Soothe Me After Spanking Cream through the following links, with discreet packaging and fast delivery.
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Related: Read all our Fifty Shades of Grey reviews
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