Fifty Shades of Grey Heavenly Massage Bullet Vibrator Review
By BarginHunta
We really weren’t sure what to expect from this Fifty Shades of Grey Heavenly Massage Bullet Vibrator. Was it just going to be a generic product that had jumped on the 50 Shades bandwagon, or could this be the perfect smooth bullet?
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Related: Read all our Fifty Shades of Grey reviews
Whilst cautiously sceptical of anything that has been branded based on the success of a book, we already had experience of other items in the 50 Shades of Grey “Weekend Collection”, so had hopes that this could be quite promising.
Once removed from the discreet plain shipping the product box can be seen in all its subtle class. Those familiar with the collection will instantly recognise the branding as being part of the ‘set’; from the dark grey background and red accents , to the straightforward but classy image of the product on the front of the box. There are no ‘in your face’ crass pictures here of half-naked women, but rather just a simple presentation of the product.
The power source for the Fifty Shades of Grey Heavenly Massage Bullet Vibrator was simply classed as ‘included’ on the product listing, so we hoped that it would be of a battery type that we already had. Sadly this was not to be the case as it uses three coin cells of the LR44 type. However this will not ruin your weekend, as not only does the bullet come pre-loaded with a complete set of three batteries, but the box also includes another complete set of replacements. It might only seem like a small gesture, but it can make all the difference when you realise there is no need for battery anxiety!
Inside the box the three spare batteries are in a shrink wrap plastic to ensure they won’t be lost, and the bullet itself is hygienically sealed in a foil bag.
Removing the Fifty Shades of Grey Heavenly Massage Bullet Vibrator from the bag, the first thing we noticed was how smooth the coating of the bullet was. The surface feels almost velvety soft to the touch, but with the rigidity of solid plastic. The bullet design is that of a main body, with a simple screw cap end which incorporates a push switch to turn the vibrator on and off.
The two body parts meet with a simple O-ring which ensures that the entire toy is 100% waterproof, meaning that you can use this anywhere you like, and cleaning is straightforward.
Looking over the bullet it has a very slight circular seam on the end, which although it can be felt, is in no way distracting as the material is so smooth.
In use this little bullet is surprisingly powerful!
In terms of vibration, it is most definitely falls into the high end of the ‘buzzy’ class; presumably due in no small part to its compact size.
Personally we found that whilst this intense buzzing feels amazing to start with, after a while it can start to feel more like a pins-and-needles sensation, almost numbing. This is a shame because when it first makes contact with your clitoris the sensation is intense and very pleasurable, it just doesn’t stay that way for long enough!
It is also fairly loud in comparison to other bullets we have experience of, probably again due to the combination of its small size and intense power. It has a very distinctive audible buzz to it.
The Fifty Shades of Grey Heavenly Massage Bullet Vibrator is very compact and the smooth surface of the bullet feels great against your body, and even more so with lubricant added to the mix, but these factors also combine to a downside for the little buzzer.
Due to the relatively small size of the bullet your fingers are quite close to the action during use, and once you get any lube onto your fingers or the part of the bullet that you are trying to hold all bets are off! Ideally it could have done with a feature, or texture, on the screw cap to allow you to grip the bullet easily once things started getting slippery, but instead this little powerhouse will keep trying to make a run for it, slipping from your fingers at the most inopportune moments!
The final point, or rather lack of it, is the tip of the bullet and this is probably just personal preference.
The tip of the Fifty Shades of Grey Heavenly Massage Bullet Vibrator is a snub rounded affair, most un-bullet like, and therefore very difficult to accurately position. With other more pointed bullets the tapered tip can easily be rested next to your clitoris, or placed directly on it with pin-point accuracy if that’s what you like. However with the stubby nose of this bullet any chance of anything better than just being in the correct general area is off the cards, especially once the numbing effect of the high pitch buzzing starts to set into both your fingers and your lady parts.
This was a great bullet to get in the mood with, but I always found myself reaching for something else to finish the job before the buzz induced numbing set in.
In summary this is a lovely, compact bullet vibrator with a gorgeous smooth black lustre coating, considerately packaged along with a complete set of spare batteries which gives great first impressions. However in use the combination of a number of minor issues that would be negligible in isolation unfortunately amount to the Fifty Shades of Grey Heavenly Massage Bullet Vibrator just not ticking the boxes for us.
– Mr & Mrs BarginHunta
Thanks to Pleasure Panel reviewer BarginHunta for this review of the Fifty Shades of Grey Heavenly Massage Bullet Vibrator.
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Related: Read all our Fifty Shades of Grey reviews
This vibrator was sent free of charge, in exchange for a fair and honest review by the Pleasure Panel.
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