Last Updated on 27 March, 2026 by Cara Sutra
I must admit, I find buying lingerie that actually fits properly, feels comfortable and still looks how I want it to, a real challenge. My breasts have changed size many times over the years for a start, for a variety of reasons: pregnancy, weight gain/loss, hormonal issues. With some shops offering lingerie sets in dress sizes (which may or may not resemble the actual size stated), and others opting for the vague ‘small, medium and large’ style sizing, buying lingerie that fits and flatters your body can feel like an impossible task. Welcome to my guide to buying comfortable sexy lingerie, in which I provide points to consider before you shop, as well as my top lingerie shopping tips, giving you the best chance of finding beautiful lingerie that fits you well.
What’s the difference between lingerie and underwear?
Lingerie is a type of underwear, or clothing worn in private and intimate environments. Underwear is practical clothing worn underneath your day-to-day clothes; lingerie is designed with powerfully erotic aesthetics, sumptuous & tactile materials and is often structured to enhance curves and flatter your beautiful silhouette.
Why bother wearing sexy lingerie?
I enjoy wearing beautiful lingerie not only because my husband loves to see me wearing it, but also because it makes me feel more confident in my body, empowered and irresistible. My partner’s enjoyment of me wearing sexy lingerie is a combination of how it looks on me but also, importantly, how it affects my confidence levels and how it boosts my sexuality. Although I know he finds me sexy and attractive no matter what clothes I’m wearing (or not wearing!), erotic lingerie is a mutually fun and instantly effective way to accentuate our lusts and enjoy the strong physical connection we still share after all our years together.
There is so much choice when lingerie shopping; where do I start?
From comfortable cotton to exquisite lace, plush velvet and satin ribbons, there are countless options to choose from in the world of lingerie.
Setting some time aside to think about what you really want and need before you go shopping can prove invaluable and prevent you wasting money or suffering disappointment. Below, I’ve highlighted some factors to consider before you even set foot in a shop or visit that lingerie website.
Before You Start Lingerie Shopping
Know Your Measurements
Knowing your exact measurements, and therefore your dress size/bra size, is key before you go lingerie shopping. It will prove invaluable when buying comfortable sexy lingerie that enhances your natural assets.
There is a fantastic article by Belle Bisous here at the Cara Sutra blog, which you may find helpful in this regard. Check out her advice on how to measure your breasts & get the correct bra size.
I know it doesn’t help at all that so many brands differ when it comes to what should be standard bra or dress sizes. It’s infuriating, in fact. For example, I have jeans in 4 different dress sizes which all fit me perfectly. If you know your body measurements (measure your bust, waist and hips accurately), you can refer to a brand’s specific sizing charts to ensure you’re getting the item of clothing that actually fits your body, instead of going by your usual dress size and hoping for the best.
Consider Your Relationship With Your Body
“Dressing for your body type” seems an outdated consideration in this enlightened age of body positivity, inclusivity, acceptance and celebration of our uniqueness & diversity. Speaking for myself, although the cultural and media shift towards a more positive and welcoming vibe towards bodies of all shapes and sizes has helped me be more accepting of my own body, it hasn’t been a magic wand or instant cure that removes decades of negative conditioning which began in childhood as a young girl in the 1980s and 1990s.
I still have body-related hang-ups, a lack of confidence and areas I choose not to highlight when dressing to feel my absolute best. With that in mind, it seems likely there are other women out there who feel a new flavour of pressure to fully accept their bodies, to feel happy and confident no matter their previous lack of confidence, and who may feel they are letting down the current body positivity movement if they dare verbalise any personal body issues or areas of appearance they aren’t completely happy with. Remember that there is such a thing as ‘toxic positivity’, where undue, unsolicited pressure on others to feel happy, accepting, grateful and the like can become as suffocating, dismissive and diminishing as direct negativity.
Personally, I think I have a large bum. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I don’t love it. I don’t have slender thighs either. I have cellulite and I have scars such as stretchmarks. Also, my breasts have been through a lot over the years (pregnancy, breastfeeding, weight changes, the relentless march of time & gravity) and they’re not as pert as they were when I was in my early 20s. I’m a mid-40s woman and hey, my boobs are a bit droopy and saggy. There, I said it.
When I’m buying comfortable sexy lingerie, I opt for styles that I know make me feel more confident, rather than those which draw my attention to body areas I’m not totally happy with flaunting. Yes, I know the current media says that I should be happy with my body and confident regardless of how it looks, but that isn’t my reality. I’m grateful for body positivity, but also grateful that I have the right to choose lingerie that I feel best flatters the body I have.
My favourite styles of sexy lingerie are structured pieces such as bustiers or corsets, which cinch my waist and create dramatic curves, while supporting and giving lift to my breasts. I steer clear of unstructured pieces like very lightweight, fabric breast cups, or open cup styles, or mid-thigh stockings which I find pinch in uncomfortably and unflatteringly on me, as well as anything crotchless (just not my thing).
Think about your own body and areas you would rather highlight and anything you’d rather disguise, keep covered or which would benefit from structured lingerie.
Imagine Your Perfect Style
On a related note, spend some time thinking about what lingerie style you imagine wearing when you’re feeling at your most sexy and confident. Are you a playful lingerie wearer, all babydolls and peekaboo bras? Or are you more of a sultry corset wearer, teamed with stockings and suspenders for a classic look?
When wearing the lingerie, do you want form-fitting and structure, or do you prefer things loose with floaty materials? Is the lingerie going to be worn underneath other clothing or as a stand-alone outfit in the bedroom for a special occasion? Do you (or a lucky partner) need to remove it easily and quickly, or are tricky clasps and laced-up areas manageable for what you have in mind?
Choose Your Material
Lingerie comes in a variety of fabrics, each with its own look and feel. Silk and satin are timeless choices that exude luxury and sensuality. Lace adds a touch of romance and femininity. For everyday comfort, consider cotton or microfiber blends. Think about the occasion and your personal preferences when choosing the material that suits you best.
Pay Attention to Details
The devil is in the details when it comes to lingerie. Look for unique embellishments like bows, ribbons, and embroidery that add a touch of charm and elegance. Adjustable straps and closures ensure a comfortable fit and allow for customisation. Consider the back design as well, as it can be an alluring feature. Thoughtful details can make a simple piece of lingerie feel extraordinary.
Embrace Your Favourite Colours
While black and red are classic lingerie colours, don’t be afraid to venture into other hues when buying comfortable sexy lingerie. Explore a range of colours that complement your skin tone and make you feel confident. Soft pastels, vibrant jewel tones, or even a daring neon can add excitement to your lingerie collection. Experiment with different colours to find what makes you shine.
Comfortable Sexy Lingerie Shopping Tips
With the above factors clear in your mind, you’re ready to go lingerie shopping! So, what should you consider when actually buying comfortable sexy lingerie? Here are my top tips:
Prioritise Your Comfort
As I get older, I realise there’s no need to tolerate uncomfortable (or sometimes actually painful) clothing. Suffering to be beautiful is out, comfortable confidence is in. When shopping for lingerie, your top priority should be how it feels when you’re wearing it. And by that, I mean how comfortable it is to wear, as well as how confident and sexy it makes you feel.
If you buy sensationally sexy but ultimately uncomfortable lingerie, you’re not likely to wear it often and may even actively avoid wearing it. What a waste of money! Consider factors such as sizing, the straps & fastenings, the materials and how close-fitting you’d like the garment to be.
Invest In Quality
You might think that cheap or sale item of lingerie is an unmissable bargain, but do you really want that piece, and will it stand the test of time? When it comes to clothing worn directly against your intimate regions, that is supposed to make you feel your most confident and sexy during wear, only the highest quality will do.
Invest in well-made pieces that will last through the years, over the course of many wears and washes, that will continue to make you feel utterly amazing every time you wear them. Look for reputable brands known for their high standards of quality, craftsmanship & attention to detail. Although the best quality lingerie may have a higher price tag, it will prove to be a worthwhile investment in the long run.
Trust Your Instincts
Keep in mind that you’re buying comfortable sexy lingerie – ie. lingerie which feels good and fits well on your body. Noone else knows your body better than you, so trust your instincts and opinions when lingerie shopping. They are the best guide when it comes to choosing the right lingerie for you.
Buying lingerie should be a fun, exciting, empowering and confidence-boosting experience. Try your best to embrace and celebrate your body, as it is the vessel for your beautiful soul through life and is the only one exactly like it in the whole world.
How To Look After New Lingerie
After all the work you’ve put in researching, finding and purchasing your new beautiful lingerie, it’s essential to take care of it properly to ensure it lasts as long as possible to provide you with years of confidence-boosting and sensual pleasure enjoyment. Take note of the washing instructions on the garment labels. I often like to remove labels inside lingerie to maximise comfort during wear, which would mean losing and undoubtedly forgetting these important care instructions. It’s helpful to take a photo of the label before disposing of it, ideally in a way in which you can identify the lingerie item it relates to, so that you can easily refer to it when required.
Due to the delicate nature and small fastenings on many items of lingerie, you will find a lot of them require handwashing rather than being able to cope through a washing machine cycle. If the garment states it can be machine washed, but still feels rather delicate to me, I pop the item into a laundry bag before putting it through the machine cycle. This helps prevent any small hooks getting caught on fabric or small ribbons and bows becoming detached.
Looking after your carefully acquired lingerie will preserve it over many years and help you see maximum benefit from your initial investment.
Where To Buy Comfy Sexy Lingerie
I deliberately haven’t included any product recommendations or shopping links in this guide. Why not? Because everybody really is different. I can’t link you to a magical lingerie set which will feel amazing on absolutely every single person reading this. You likely have your favourite brands already and know where to find them. If not, you’ll likely have heard of the big names in the lingerie world, with word-of-mouth lending weight to the good reviews of successful retailers.
Time for a surprising admission on my behalf: I don’t believe sex shops are the best places to get comfortable sexy lingerie. Sexy lingerie? Yes. Cheap as chips lingerie? Yes. Comfortable lingerie which is true to size and stands the test of time? Debatable at best.
Therefore, this guide contains advice relating to what to consider before you shop, and while shopping, rather than hoping to guide you directly to your perfect lingerie solutions.
Final Thoughts
Armed with this helpful guide, you’re ready to go out and find lingerie that ticks all the right boxes – comfortable, well-fitting, confidence-boosting and exquisitely beautiful. Lingerie shopping shouldn’t be overwhelming or an experience filled with dread, it’s a chance to celebrate your unique body whether for yourself, or to share with your partner during romantic intimate liaisons.
Whether you’re hunting for classic elegance, playful styles or a dramatic diva statement, the perfect lingerie for you is out there. The key is knowing your measurements, embracing your uniqueness and focusing on how the lingerie makes you feel.
Although lingerie can be a stunningly erotic adornment for your body, the sexiest thing you can wear is confidence. Whilst wearing comfortable, gorgeous lingerie that fits & flatters just how you like it, feel proud of your body and complete the outfit with a smile. Here’s to buying comfortable sexy lingerie – and enjoying every moment of pleasure it brings.
