Swiss Navy Massage Cream & Masturbation Cream Reviews
Reviews by Cara Sutra & Friends
Welcome to my Swiss Navy Massage Cream & Masturbation Cream reviews. I’m providing a dual review as these two products are in fact… the same thing! After my own review you’ll also be able to read the experiences of three of my reviewers as well as browse their photographs.
Enjoy all our Swiss Navy reviews
So, two products which are the same thing but titled differently… No, it’s not a conspiracy. Simply the same formulation sold in different ways to appeal to possibly different people, genders, uses. The ingredients are the same for each.
You’ll notice that they’re labelled as ‘creams’ rather than lubes – there’s a good reason for this. The formulation really is a cream rather than anything resembling the drizzly transparent stuff you get in a typical squeeze tube or pump dispenser of the sex lube variety.
The sachets are fairly easy to open – twist the top off and squeeze out the contents. I like the fact that as they’re a cream formulation the contents don’t drip out everywhere, you need to actively squeeze the sachets to dispense the cream. The hole left at the top of the sachet once you’ve twisted off the top is quite small, but not so small as to make dispensing difficult. Just small enough so that you could have fun decorating your or your partner’s body with designs or even spell out words if you want. Or, if you’ve fallen out, spell out a choice phrase on their pillow. The possibilities are (almost) endless.
As for using this as a lube, well… I don’t. It’s a cream (I may have said this) so for me it’s just too thick so be suitable for vaginal or clitoral pleasure during sex or masturbation with or without sex toys. I can’t comment on whether the ‘masturbation cream’ would be good for penile masturbation, it does seem more of a moisturising cream rather than a friction removing, slippery liquid.
As A Moisturising Cream
Speaking of moisturising cream, this formulation is brilliant. For just that. Moisturising. I found if I put it on dry skin areas or used it as a body lotion just out of the shower my skin felt much softer and more supple. This is probably due to the mineral oil and coconut oil elements. Think cocoa butter consistency and uses.
As A Lubricant
Using this as a lube – this formulation isn’t great for me. As a foreplay toy, massage cream and especially as a dry skin balm? Excellent.
I’ll rate the formulation 7/10 as it does have parabens in sadly – and it does nothing for me if I use it vaginally or clitorally. But then, it’s labelled as a cream not a lube (I’ve definitely mentioned that fact).
Now the reviews from three separate reviewers:
Minxy Mischief’s Review
I’d like to thank Cara for sending me some Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream and the Swiss Navy Massage Cream.
On receiving the Swiss Navy massage cream and Swiss Navy masturbation cream I had a look at the ingredients and realised they were in fact the same thing! The only difference is that the masturbation cream says it’s not for use with condoms and doesn’t contain spermicide.
The little sachets are really easy to open, just rip the top off. I really wasn’t sure about using a cream in my intimate areas so when my partner asked me to pass him some lube, I thought I’d give him one of the masturbation creams to try. It went on very thick but quickly warmed up and kind of melted to be more like a lotion. We were both very pleasantly surprised that a cream could be so nice. It really lasted and didn’t dry up at all. I thought I would give it a try and again it felt like it melted with my body heat. I felt really nice and soft and well moisturised. I expect that will be the coconut oil in it. It didn’t at any point get sticky or tacky.
Using the Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream as a massage cream is equally as nice. It’s not greasy and works into the skin really well. It leaves your skin well moisturised. If I had run out of my usual moisturiser I would be more than happy to use this as a substitute. I can’t really say anything else about it that I haven’t already said.
We don’t use condoms for contraception so this wasn’t an issue for us but for someone who does this wouldn’t be suitable if sex was on the cards unless you washed off the cream before putting on a condom.
Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream Summary
Pros – Long lasting, non greasy.
Cons – Not suitable for use with condoms.
Overall we both really liked this cream and the way it melted to a lotion with your body heat.
– Minxy Mischief
Lightweight Toucan’s Review
Well now, this is a lube I can get down with! The packet/tube it’s in is difficult to open (one handed, anyway) but it just makes the prize sweeter. The Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream slipped out on to my fingers, it didn’t drip or try to escape and ruin my clean sheets, but stayed where I had put it. It also didn’t try to slide straight off my clit and down my backside, unlike some more lively, watery lubes, and what a plus this is! Not having oily coldness sliding down onto areas I neither want to play with or have to mess about cleaning is a feature all lubes should have, but can’t seem to manage.
It kept its glide and water-like pliability, and this let me lose myself in fantasy, not worrying about it drying up and causing me to stop play. Using this Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream was awesome, it wasn’t tacky, didn’t smell…well, it didn’t smell at all, which can only be a good thing. Sometimes the smell of some lubes can pull you out of the moment, no such issue with Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream!
A pea sized amount of the Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream stayed silky and slippery for at least 5 minutes of play time with my husband, and around 10 minutes for myself (using the same amount each time) and it didn’t dry out fully or start peeling like some do.
The clean-up after using Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream was pretty simple, and this is just another plus. Using a little tissue to wipe it off between plays, or just using a feminine wipe cleaned it all off and it didn’t leave a residue or any tackiness.
I like this one, it can stay for as long as it lasts, which may be a while based on the staying power of Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream.
7/10, it won’t take my top spot, but the Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream is pretty damn good.
– Lightweight Toucan
Little Switch Bitch’s Review
I was sent the Swiss Navy Massage Cream & Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream to review for the Cara Sutra sex blog. They are samples from Swiss Navy. One is labelled as a “massage cream” the other “masturbation cream”.
On investigating them on the internet and the product’s own packaging, each Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream/Massage Cream has the same ingredients. The ingredients are each listed in the same way showing there is no difference in mass of each ingredient. As well as that they look, smell, feel and melt the same. I would like to point out , I’m not saying the company are lying but I’m struggling to write a review on the base of what I’ve discovered. So I am reviewing them as one product.
The main ingredient in the Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream is mineral oil and it does make a fantastic base for what we used it for. As a massage cream. It does it’s job well, more than well in fact. It last ages, doesn’t causes dragging or go sticky. It’s starts off as a thick cream, stays on the skin for a few seconds before it starts to liquify to an oil/silicone based liquid, so you don’t have to fight with it and it doesn’t spill anywhere. As well as that it’s rich in emollients and leaves the skin smooth, soft and non sticky. It soaks into the skin well. One sample of Swiss Navy Masturbation Cream was enough to be able to give one full body massage.
If you were to use the “Swiss Navy masturbation cream” for it’s intended purpose, keep in mind that a) it’s not suitable for use with condoms b) it’s not suitable for silicone toys as there is silicone in it (this will eat through your toy) and c) it’s got a fair few ingredients I wouldn’t be happy putting near my delicate regions but of course, each to their own. It contains glycerin (which is sugar and will feed thrush if you are prone to it), a few different parabens (synthetic preservatives which mimic oestrogen) , imidazolidinyl urea ( formaldehyde producer but has antimicrobial properties) and loads of other nasties that personally after researching it, I’m so glad I didn’t use it to wank off with.
As a massage oil, 7/10
As a masturbation cream, 0/10