Motorhead Ace Of Spades Vibrator – Hella Rude Klittrature Review

6 out of 10
Price:
£29.99
Brand:
Motorhead
Materials:
Plastic

Motorhead Ace Of Spades Vibrator

Review courtesy of Hella Rude reviewer, Klittrature

Klittrature Hella Rude guest sex toy reviewsThe Motorhead Ace of Spades Vibrator was provided to Klittrature free of charge in exchange for this fair and honest review. 

Bands bringing out sex toys? Whatever will they think of next?

Well, actually, punk band The Vibrators have already brought out a… erm… vibrator, and unsurprisingly Rammstein included dildos fashioned after themselves with special editions of their album Liebe Ist Fur Alle Da. So when I found out Motorhead (a band with a song called ‘Orgasmatron’) had brought out a range of their own pleasure devices, I needed to see what all the fuss was about.

The Motorhead classic vibrators come in two flavours: Motorhead Overkill Vibrator in shiny chrome, and Motorhead Ace of Spades Vibrator in matte black, both with the iconic Warpig and band logo emblazoned upon them. Although made of rigid plastic, the matte finish on the black model gives it a slightly silicone-like texture, making it feel that little bit more luxurious.

However, it’s let down by the slightly cheap looking packaging which is merely suction-plastic on a cardboard backing – I’d expect something a little bit more showy, especially of something that could potentially be a ‘collectors item’ to some fans. When removed, however, it definitely looks the part – it’s not only a cool-looking vibe in the context of other sex toys, but is just a cool-looking object in general.

Klittrature Motorhead Ace of Spades Vibrator Review-small 1

So how does it actually perform as a vibrator?

The Classic has seven functions – three intensities and four patterns, controlled with a click button on the base. This thing is fierce. Even on the lowest setting it bucks around with the subtlety of a pneumatic drill, and when you turn it up to 11 it’s enough to make your hand go numb (never mind your nethers). You’d think a vibe with a very real capability of leaping from your hands and haring down the road would be a shoo-in for a guaranteed orgasm, right?

Actually no, or not in my case anyway. Although powerful, the vibrations the Motorhead vibrator creates are incredibly rattly, not like the fine vibrations of luxury toys. This makes it prone to losing oomph when pressed down, resulting in a disappointing first experience. I found a lighter touch was the key to making this toy work. If, like me, you’re inclined to over-enthusiastic vibrator mashing as you’re getting more excited, this might prove to be a problem. It’s also worth noting that another worriment of this vibe is the noise. I live with just my partner so noisy toys aren’t an issue, but if you’re in shared accommodation or have thin walls, proceed with caution.

So is this Mean Machine worth a punt? It’s the very epitomy of Fast and Loose, certainly Built For Speed but not so much for power. Unfortunately it looks like it might be a One Night Stand for the Classic and I, but if you want something you can Rock Out with that looks kick-ass on your bedside table, maybe it’s worth the investment.

Overall it’s a 4/10 for performance and 8/10 as band merch. If you’re likely to meet some of the Motorhead crew at any time, this is an awesome collector’s piece to get signed. Just make sure you put it somewhere safe to keep it MOC.


The Lovehoney Official Motorhead Ace of Spades Vibrator was provided for free in exchange for an honest review. It is available for £14.99 and Hella Rude fans can receive a 10% Lovehoney discount (follow the link!).

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