Lovehoney Sqweel 2 Oral Sex Toy Simulator – Hella Rude Review

10 out of 10

Lovehoney Sqweel 2 Oral Sex Toy Simulator

Review by Hella Rude

Lovehoney Sqweel 2 oral sex toy simulator reviewDear Trevor Murphy,

Forgive me, for I have failed. It has been many months since Sqweel 2 was released and I have ignored it to some extent. I cooed over your redesign and approved wholeheartedly of your changes, but I still didn’t bother to spend any time with Sqweel 2 or its original incarnation. What a foolish, foolish bitch I was.

What can I say? I made a mistake. Sqweel 2 is one of the best sex toys I’ve ever had the pleasure of using and abusing.

Far from being the oral sex simulator I feared it would be (haters don’t hate, I’m very picky about oral and I’m usually not impressed), Sqweel 2 is in fact something way more amazing – it’s your own mini orgy in a handheld device.

Big claims, I know, but here’s the deal: No one person can do what Sqweel 2 does. Not ever. Not if you’re Gene Simmons on speed… you can’t do it. The speed, the pressure, the consistency and the ability to flip, reverse, speed up or speed down at your whim – it’s like having at least two telekinetic lovers at your beck and call.

With batteries on their last legs, this thing feels like impressive oral. With 3 fresh AAAs it’s a whole other world, like nothing you’ve ever experienced… fuck, like nothing I’ve ever experienced.

There is definitely an oral sex element to the mix, but it isn’t the whole story. There are fingers and there is an uncanny tailorable aspect that is absent from any other sex toy I’ve tried. Press harder and the speed slows but the pressure increases, press one button and the direction changes or flits between forward and back and press the other and the speed increases. It’s a control freak’s dream and it isn’t going to get shirty if you change your mind about what you’re after 10 times over.

For the best Sqweel 2 experience use plenty of lube, fresh batteries and take your time. Start slowly. Amp up, amp down, change direction, flick between more settings. It’s a slower builder than a bullet but the resulting climax is more akin to something you’d share during an awesome session with a partner. How many sex toys can offer that consistently?

The Sqweel 2 is available for £39.99. Hella Rude fans can click to enjoy 10% off at Lovehoney.

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