Happy Valley Joe Rock Butt Plug Review
By Pleasure Panel reviewer Kitten Boheme
You always remember your firsts; your first kiss, your first school dance, your first break-up, and of course your first butt plug. Right? We can all remember our first butt plugs can’t we? I know I sure do, it was the Happy Valley Joe Rock. A bright red hunk of silicone that I shyly purchased from one of my favorite local retailers – The Smitten Kitten.
I really had no idea what I wanted in a butt plug, I didn’t even realize that there was such an enormous variety of toys that one could stuff up one’s butt. So, a bit overwhelmed by all my choices I ended up reaching for the first traditionally butt plug shaped toy I saw, which happened to be the Joe Rock.
It was bright red, which I thought was fun and it had a slightly tapered shape that I thought made it look easy to insert, also at under 30 bucks, it was right within my budget.
So, I quickly nabbed the butt plug, paid for it, and ran out of the shop as fast as I could. Since then I have become a lot less coy about shopping for butt plugs, I will fondle every toy in the store and make eye-contact with everyone as I do it. VIVA LA BUTT PLUGS!
Happy Valley, for those unfamiliar with the company, is an awesome sex toy company from Canada that specializes in creating high-quality silicone products. I would consider Happy Valley the Tantus of Canada! Top notch silicone toys, great people and a pretty cool selection of sex toys for both butts and vaginas! Also, they are pretty similar to Tantus in that I kind of want everything they make. I want to put all their toys in my butt and vagina… possibly even at the same time. If you are already familiar with Fuze toys, then I am happy to report you have already made Happy Valley’s acquaintance!
I really thought I would love this plug, I thought the Joe Rock and I would ride sunset together to live happily ever after in anal bliss. I was positive my anus would be singing its praises for decades to come, that I would tell my great-grandchildren about the Happy Valley Joe Rock as I lay in my deathbed recounting all the wonderful memories of my life. I had high hopes for this plug.
And dangnabbit, it didn’t live up to a single one of them. Okay, maybe I am being somewhat over dramatic, it wasn’t all bad. Girth-wise, the Joe Rock was almost perfect.
Joe Rock has a fairly generous bulb (if you are familiar with my current favorite butt plug, Tantus Ryder, it is somewhat smaller than that), with a girth of 1 1/4 inches the plug was small enough that I was able to slip it on in without any warm-up (I’m impatient), I was able to just lube it up and just go for it (hooray!), but overall it was still large enough to feel filling after inserted (but not in a “I have to poop” sort of way). But after that, the plug kind of falls apart for me.
First off, the shape… there is something about the shape that my butthole says NOPE to. Once inserted if feels… pointy… not in a sharp, painful sort of way… but rather in a “huh, something is uncomfortably stabbing at my colon” sort of way. The Happy Valley Joe Rock isn’t an abnormally long plug or anything, but I think because the silicone is very firm I can feel it just that much more and having that firm tip stab at my insides is not my idea of a good time.
The base of the plug also gives me all the frowny faces. Sure, the base is flared and keeps the Joe Rock from disappearing up my butt… but the shape, ugh… the shape of it is terrible. The base of the Joe Rock is a thick rectangular block of silicone that does not sit comfortably between my butt cheeks at all. I’ve tried rotating it every which way but could not find an angle where the weird base felt good. It poked my cheeks, it pinched flesh when I walked, and it was always incredibly noticeable which made it hard to just get lost in the delightful feeling of the girthy plug. So, the weird base coupled with the firm silicone and pointy body… I could not sit down with this plug without causing great discomfort and I couldn’t walk around without feeling irritated. BOOOO!
Then there is the neck of the plug…. yes, my butt and I even took offense to the neck. Just looking at the Joe Rock you would think that the neck looks perfect, it is narrow, it is long, it looks like it should be a sphincter’s wet dream… and yet, when inserted the neck felt weird. Sure, my butt griped it and held it in place with no issues, but if felt weirdly long like it was hanging out of my ass. I’m sure it wasn’t and that everything was where it should be, but it felt very odd to me. Also, the firm, matte silicone also gave me issues here, it felt like my butthole was being rubbed raw when I walked. Which ruled this plug out as something I would wear for any extended period of time.
So… that’s three strikes and you’re out. Long neck, weird base, and stabby tip? Sorry Joe Rock, my butt is closed and you are now on the no fly list. I wanted to love you but we were just not meant to be. At least I still have the Tantus Ryder!
All in all… the Happy Valley Joe Rock butt plug was a huge disappointment. While the girth of the plug was spot on the firmness of the silicone and the shape of the base and neck just made the entire thing too uncomfortable to really enjoy. I’m such a fan of butt stuff that this unusable butt plug really hits me hard, I can feel the disappointment to my very core. However, all butts are different! So if you really like firm silicone or want a plug with a longer neck, there is the possibility that the Joe Rock would work for you! Quality wise this plug is stunning, the silicone is feels smooth and is very well crafted… it’s just the design just leaves me wanting something different.
One a scale of 1 to 10, I give the Happy Valley Joe Rock a 4/10. It gets points for quality and girth!
– Kitten Boheme
Where To Buy
Thanks to Pleasure Panel reviewer Kitten Boheme for this contributed review of the Happy Valley Joe Rock Butt Plug.
You can buy yours in the Smitten Kitten store, or online purchase it here at Aslan Leather.
Unsponsored, unaffiliated review