The Frenchman Vibrator (Ramblin’ Brands Smile Makers) – Pleasure Panel Review

7 out of 10
Price:
£29.99
Materials:
Silicone

Smile Makers The Frenchman Vibrator

Pleasure Panel review by Scandarella

I’d never heard of Ramblin’ Brands or their products before getting this vibe (The Frenchman Vibrator), so I had a browse on the net to find out what the craic was. I discovered that the Smile Makers range – which is comprised of the Fireman, the Frenchman, the Tennis Coach and the Millionaire – is based on classic women’s fantasy characters. I don’t know how I feel about this approach to be honest. Part of me thinks it’s quirky and fun, but the devil on my shoulder is thinking it’s a bit insulting and smacks of stereotyping. My personal top 5 fantasies don’t include any of those characters. In fact, they don’t even feature anywhere in my top 10.

The Frenchman Vibrator Review Ramblin' Brands Smile Makers Cara Sutra Pleasure Panel Scandarella

I dunno, maybe I’m being too sensitive, or am missing the point in some way. I mean, why on earth would a woman be offended by sex toys that pretty much suggest her gender is made up of helpless, cheating, gold digging adulteresses?

But yeah, that’s enough about how I’m not sold on the thinking behind this range. On to the product itself *hears all the people cheering that the rant is over*

The Frenchman Vibrator is a plastic lady finger type vibrator, thinly encased in soft silicone. A super thin, petal like piece of silicone rises from the top of the slim shaft, making the whole thing loosely resemble a pale blue calla lily.

The Frenchman Vibrator Review Ramblin' Brands Smile Makers Cara Sutra Pleasure Panel Scandarella

It’s powered by one AAA battery, which is inserted via a screw off cap at the base of the toy. You don’t need to look closely to see the little smiley face debossed into the silicone on the cap. That pissed me right off. I have a deep dislike for sex toys that remind me of children’s toys, and smiley faces in pastel colours make me think exactly that. But to be fair, I’m not a particularly flexible gal, so I’m never gonna see that smiley face when I’m getting down to business with the vibe, though knowing it’s there still annoys me.

When I ran through the four vibration intensities and one pattern powered by that single battery, I found them to be buzzy and weak. I’m not a power queen by any stretch of the imagination, but I don’t like buzzy and weak either. I like rumbly, and maybe just a shade off arrogantly powerful. I like to feel my labia shaking when I hold a toy against my clit, and that wasn’t ever going to happen with The Frenchman Vibrator. So yes, I was wholly prepared to not like this vibrator, but the fact is, I do.

The Frenchman Vibrator Review Ramblin' Brands Smile Makers Cara Sutra Pleasure Panel Scandarella

My first thought on stroking it over my arms was, oui oui, monsieur, you’re not as limp as I thought you were gonna be. Yes the vibes are still crap, but that silicone petal transforms them into something entirely unexpected. It makes them feel good. Goosebumps flourish wherever you stroke it, and using it as part of a sensual massage is heavenly. The vibrations aren’t strong enough to penetrate deeply, but they do reach just beneath the surface of the skin and it feels lovely.

Using The Frenchman Vibrator on my more sensitive regions is lovely too. It feels amazing when lazily skimmed over nipples, and slowly stroking it over the inner labia is eye-crossingly good. Pressing it against my clit does nothing for me, but holding the edges of the petal against it and alternating between sweeping strokes and teasing touches makes me wriggle. The petal doesn’t seem to even vibrate in the usual sense of the word. It feels more like a speedy flutter, and the Frenchman has become the first ‘weak’ toy to bring me close enough to orgasm before sex that I’ve been able to come on the first thrust.

The Frenchman Vibrator Review Ramblin' Brands Smile Makers Cara Sutra Pleasure Panel Scandarella

The Frenchman Vibrator is waterproof, so if you want to take him in the bath with you, you can. I wouldn’t recommend it though, as you need a good splodge of water-based lube to get the right sensations from the petal and it would get washed away in the bath or shower. Being waterproof does make it easy to clean though, and a soapy wash or spritz with toy cleaner is enough. There isn’t a storage bag included, so that’s something you’ll have to think about buying yourself.

As much as my inner warrior wanted to stomp all over everything about this toy, I can’t. I do like it, and I do recommend it to those who see the fun side of them. They’re touted on the Smile Makers website as being the ‘friendliest collection of vibrators on the planet’ and maybe someone who is light-hearted and not a grouchy reviewer like me will be able to see it from that perspective.

– Scandarella


Thanks to Pleasure Panel reviewer Scandarella for this guest review of the Ramblin’ Brands Smile Makers The Frenchman Vibrator (£29.99)

This sex toy was sent free of charge, in exchange for a fair and honest review by the Pleasure Panel, by Superdrug Health.

Ramblin Brands Smile Makers The Frenchman The Millionaire Vibrators

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