Decoding Your Kink by Galen Fous Book Review
By Pleasure Panel reviewer Wilf3564
I would like to thank Cara Sutra for sending me this book (Decoding Your Kink by Galen Fous) free/gratis as part of the Pleasure Panel in return for an honest and frank review.
Before I start I must first apologise to Cara and to the author, Galen Fous, for the time it has taken me to do this review. When I started reading “Decoding your Kink” I quickly realised that it is a self-help book and far from just a quick read. I also noticed that it was aimed at … “Me”. White, middle class, brought up High Catholic with an extra side order of guilt, in a 20 year relationship where my true sexual desires have been actively discouraged and shamed, and newly re-discovering the world of kink but not having any idea how to access or involve myself in it.
Decoding your Kink by Galen Fous also deals with the problems of the modern metrosexual man. Someone who has been brought up to be deferential to women and taught not to push his masculine wants and needs above theirs. A person who is therefore unable to ask for what he wants for fear of rejection or ridicule. Again….Me!
Consequently I decided that instead of simply reading the book I would “do” the book.
Decoding your Kink has many suggestions and techniques for discovering and accessing your own unique personal “Erotic Mythos” (the story that you are involved in when you are most deeply engaged in your sexual fantasies). Many of these involve listening to your body and subconscious self, which is all very well and good but not something, I think, that would be easy in most of us. Even the most malleable of subjects, if they had the attendant blocks and hang ups that would make the book relevant to them in the first place, would need time and effort to perfect and use these techniques. I have all of these blocks in spades and on top of that I am a very practical person, not disposed to introspection or analysis of my psyche. I have also found that I am not very suggestible and am totally resistant to being hypnotised etc. Not a good start.
Anyway, I received a polite note from Cara last week to remind me that I was actually supposed to be writing a review, so I ditched the “doing” for simply reading in order to get this out before next Christmas.
Despite all of this I feel that the advice and help found in the book has already made me start to look at things in a different way and I will keep trying with the deeper and more difficult techniques after this review.
So! The Book.
As I’ve mentioned, Decoding your Kink is a self-help book, however Galen Fous takes time to point out that he is a therapist. The start of the book is peppered with references to previous books and papers – and also links from which you can join in with his research into the problems encountered by people trying to access their own kink or trying to integrate it into their day to day lives. I did the anonymous questionnaires. #browniepoints.
Once the book starts properly it gives a series of descriptions of different types of people, psyches and suggests where and how you might fit in. This is followed by a set of systems and plans for finding your inner monologue, sexual “Mythos” and your sexual self or “sexcreature”.
Galen describes the problems encountered by “fetishsexual” people when the repression of their true desires either by trauma, upbringing or fear of revealing your true self to others in order to access that which you need, begins to manifest itself. He then suggests several ways of looking at things to make them more acceptable to the subject themselves in order that they can then begin to carefully examine the reasons for the repression of their desires and begin to build ways of overcoming them.
Much of the book focuses on being current and present in the moment. Conscious of the link between yourself and your partner and not just relying on simple “friction sex” but looking for the deeper connection that comes with true self-knowledge.
There are several examples of case histories that Galen has helped personally to show how progress can be made when all parties are engaged in the process and have overcome their fear enough to ask for help. (again…Me!)
Decoding your Kink is a very sex-positive and inclusive book that does not discriminate between cultural, religious or kink/fetish flavours. Galen states that he has lived through the trials and tribulations of confronting his own kink and bringing it into his everyday life and consequently into the open. He now purports to live the “life” full-time and in full expression of his kink and wants to help as many people as he can achieve this.
I don’t know if I will ever be fully “out” but I do think that Decoding your Kink is a book I will keep referring to in my journey to discovering my own personal Mythos and the authentic Me. It won’t be easy but I think it could be worth it!
I would give this book 9/10
Thanks to Pleasure Panel reviewer Wilf3564 for this review of Decoding Your Kink by Galen Fous (£8.56 paperback version, also available as an e-book)
This e-book was provided free of charge, in exchange for a fair and honest review by the Pleasure Panel, by the author Galen Fous. Thank you! 🙂
This review contains affiliate links.