Sex Diary

Feeling voyeuristic? What exactly do I get up to between the sheets? I invite you to peek through my window and find out, here in my sex diary at the Cara Sutra sex blog.

Much of my personal sex diary focuses on my varied, fun and wild sex life with my long-term partner. Despite having a fairly full household we manage to continue with an active sex life during the precious private moments we spend together. As we’re both extremely kinky and part of the BDSM community, a lot of our sex is naturally kink-influenced. Name-calling, specific fetishes, power exchange, bondage and spanking all feature regularly. The basis of our relationship, though, is the love and attraction we still have to one another, and which we love to celebrate through our passionate lovemaking sessions.

My partner and I are both bisexual. This is often relevant in my sex diary updates as some of the exciting write-ups feature other people… There’s that time I wrote about him being taken by a boyfriend, and the several anecdotal tales of my sexy fun with various girls. We’re both lucky to have a relationship which is founded on love and honesty, with very clear boundaries set.

These are very much the highlights from my sex life and I do my best to keep this area updated – after I’ve already exerted so much energy during sex, though, I often don’t have a lot left to write about what just happened! If you’d love to read more saucy tales, head over to my sexy stories area for some seriously hot erotica.

Girl date: The first fuck is the sweetest

I spread her puffy labia with my fingers, noting the wetness of her arousal leaking out on to my fingertips. I’d waited for so long and I was finally able to taste her. Lowering my head I silently offered a quick prayer to nobody in particular that I’d be good enough, then my tongue tip flashed over her clitoris while my lips sealed a circular kiss around the edges. Not content with giving just clitoral stimulation, worried it wouldn’t be enough, I slipped first the tip of my index finger inside her cunt, then my middle finger alongside it. Slowly and gently at first, I finger fucked her while my tongue danced over and around her clit.

Reclaiming his territory

He moved on his side to face me, both of us on top of the bed. His nose almost touching mine. There’s no argument which could ever be brooked with those dark eyes, brooding doesn’t even come close. Determined? Of course. Expectant. Dominant. In control. To be obeyed without question or hesitation. To stare into them means to know this is what you really want, to know your own mind and be strong enough to go where it and he leads. I'm proud enough to face those eyes openly and without hiding or running. They were out of focus range, suddenly… and his mouth was on mine, tasting and invading. The first penetration.

Spoons

Recursive ripples of pleasure emanating from our tangled form. My mouth taking in the pre-cum slicked tip of his cock, my lips wet by my tongue between taking more and more of his shaft until he’s fucking my throat. His freshly blown cock, still wet from a heady mixture of salty tears, cum and saliva, perfectly lubricated to slide balls-deep into my aching cunt. His generous cock which is always ready for more and never seems spent, completing the carnal hat-trick by flipping me over, smearing cold gel with finger tips and fucking my arse. Hard. While I sob from that addictive blend of exhaustion, need, pain and arousal, deep wracking cathartic sobs into the well-worn teddy of an ageplayer.

Pretty when I cry

Raising my hips in the usual way I can easily slip just the end of his still hard cock inside my incredibly wet cunt. Sucking him and making him cum hard down my throat always turns me on so much that my inner thighs are a sticky mess of arousal. I lean down to kiss him, my mouth still awash with the taste of his cum - but he loves the taste. It makes him kiss me all the more passionately, his tongue sweeping around my mouth, exploring, relishing every last remnant of his cum and combining that pleasure with kissing me because he loves me but lusts for me, and these moments are the culmination of that desire and emotion. I kiss him back harder, matching his passion, and at the same time sit down hard on his cock, my tight but slippery pussy offering absolutely no resistance whatsoever. He gasps and moans all at once, into my mouth as we're still kissing. So satisfying. I start to move, slowly at first, up and down on his cock and my tits hang down heavily, nipples brushing his chest hair. He moves his hands out easily from underneath my playfully Dominant hands on his wrists, there's nothing I could do to stop him. His fingers find my nipples and pinch them gently at first, then increasing in pressure until I'm the one moaning against his mouth in now intermittent kisses, gasping and moaning and squealing. Rising and sitting on his cock, my thighs clamped hard to his body, riding him on top and wanting more, always more, insatiable for his sex.

Can I really have an orgasm in my sleep?

Upon properly waking up I don’t feel the muscle tension that usually comes post-orgasm. The orgasm I had in my dreams isn’t that lightning bolt zing from clit to throat. It’s more of a rippling wave from top to toe, a gentle lapping of pleasure which unfurls from… where, I’m once again not sure. The pit of my stomach, my clit, my mind. All I know is that when I’m awake the feeling is ebbing away but it might just be the fading of a dream, not a real orgasm. One of my exes could orgasm without touching herself. Whether on the bus or just before going to sleep at night. Wherever she was she could just think about it and make herself have an orgasm. What an enviable skill. But her orgasms were always when she was fully awake, never when asleep.

Why I won’t be sleeping in the wet patch

I know what I want to happen after sex. I want to lay together, body to hot sweaty body, post-sex heat our only blanket, clinging together in glorious love - well, mainly stuck together with the velcro of rapidly drying bodily fluids. I want it to be just like ‘in the movies’ (films, for us Brits). To immediately drift into the deep peaceful sleep of the newly-shagged, in candlelight (without any thought of the fire hazard) and wake up in the morning still clinging together. As if we were Jack and Rose. Only Jack didn't have to die and Rose let him climb on the damn door. My makeup would be absolute perfection through the night, until the sun’s rays gently woke us from nauseatingly romantic slumber. My pillowslip would most definitely not look like a clown’s washcloth. Nor would my face.

The Time I Made Him Make Me Safe Out

It hurts SO much. Is this all I can take? Would someone else be able to take more? Am I being a wuss? I want him to be proud of me. It hurts. Fuck, that hurts so much. Ok I am going to say red. Any minute now…

Let’s Play Ball

I got a new toy this week, but not the usual kind.

Whirlwind of Fire

The evening passed in the usual blur where time speeds up and excitement is at a high. We got closer and closer during the evening and exchanged flirty banter and those looks. You know the ones. Curious, daring, challenging, knowing. Time was escaping us, rushing past in an echo of Alice in Wonderland madness. Swept up in her crazy hotness and wild fire we rebelled and kissed - and our lips then tongues meeting was fire to fire. The taste of not girl, but woman. Full knowledge and comprehension of actions, not some naive innocent who will later regret.

From tired to wired with a wink and a wank

In the last quarter of orgasm he turned me again, even while I held the bullet to my clit to finish what had started. He found that freshly fucked and messy hole and shoved his unwaning hardness inside. Fucking me while I was still in the pleasure throes, he was quite clearly getting off on my war between pleasure and pain, the forced continuity of stimulation as my orgasm tried and failed to subside. It just carried on. He wasn’t done with me until he said so.

Friction burns, forgotten sex toys and a ball pool perversion

I found myself wondering what it would be like to have a more adult themed, strictly 18+ ball pool party. Or possibly even take over a play gym/soft activity warehouse for the night with some friends. Yeah, those kinda friends. Bikinis or naked? To add food play or keep it clean, skin to skin? Perhaps just a squirt of lube in the ball pool, help them glide over our bodies, frottaging and enjoying each others hands and bodies, both external and dipping tongues and fingers inside, a total perversion of what would usually be a scene of purity and innocence.

Masturbation Month Update – 3-6 May

My daily masturbation has been either a play in bed with Doxy or a fiddle in the bathroom with my iGino. Over the bank holiday weekend things were very ‘family’ and relaxing, and then more family turned up yesterday (Bank Holiday Monday) and staying til Saturday. So it’s quite a family kinda week. Great in some ways but trying to keep my thoughts meltingly hot and sex related when faced with family at every turn in the house is quite a challenge. I know I have family around anyway but with my kids I can somehow do the ‘turning a blind eye as a Mum’ that they’re in the next room but with my Dad staying over it’s a little different. I don’t really know why, it just is.

Mid-work wank

I will need to get a bed in there at some point, I’m probably having about 80% of my orgasms stood upright. I say upright, it’s more a kind of gripping on to the towel rail, knees bent, legs spread as far as my ripped down just-far-enough knickers will allow me, squeezing my eyes closed to let the waves of fantasy and ecstasy roll over me as I fill myself with whatever shape of vibrating goodness I fancy today. Will it be a dual pleasure shape, a rabbit style, or desperately trying to hold on to a pussy vibe while grappling with a buzzing bullet for my clit? Perhaps it will be a cool, rigid, metal or glass or stone dildo shoved up deep inside, or a buzzing butt plug to tease myself with thrusting it deeper inside with my slippery fingers as the juices leak from my pussy to make a mess on my fingertips and on my soft inner thighs.

May is for Masturbation, Blogasm 500 and Star Trek porn-gasms

I also want to track any effect on my libido and sex drive with the increase in masturbation and resulting orgasms, as I don’t usually have an orgasm every single day. Just most days. I’ll be tracking my efforts through some poly love child of #MasturbationMay, #MasturbationMonth and a revisit of my shamingly neglected Blogasm 500 orgasms project (#Blogasm500).

I should write about my sex life more; it’s really fucking hot.

His cock tip at my hand-fucked, stretched entrance, my ankles hooked over his shoulders as we both love, and he's not even entering me. Just making sure he's in the right place, right by my wetness. He's looking right at me and I'm looking into his eyes, turned on and ready and for some reason ashamed and feeling very small all at once. And the keening wail of desperate need that rises in my throat doesn't help matters. He smiles, then. His signal. Pushing into me smoothly, determinedly, HARD. All the way up. Then he stops again. My legs move to interlock my ankles over his back. My hands holding on to his big shoulders and my nails digging into his hot skin. I look up and his dark hair is framing him like a deviant halo, his eyes have changed from soft melted-chocolate brown to midnight black. Black like sin.

Coming Together

...if he ties me up, spanks me and uses ‘dirty talk’ before fucking me. Telling me what he’s going to do to his filthy little girl, that I’m all just for Daddy and that there’s nothing I can do to stop him, he’s going to fuck me anyway, nothing I can do about it. No choice. Tied up and no way out, no escape. Just a little fucktoy, a ragdoll for him to use and abuse at will. That sort of thing.

Relationship, Work and Sex Decisions

Decisions to have anal sex at work, after hours, on cctv. Forcefully bending me over his desk, flipping up my short skirt and ripping my tights for access. Pulling aside my thong and using a lube coated finger (yes, he had lube on his desk) smeared across my hole to help guide him inside quickly.

Orgasms 30-36 and an evil 37th

Sitting up more now, to use both hands on them, mauling them and pinching them tightly to make the nerve endings send a juddering connecting all the way through my body, connecting with my clit underneath the battering of the wand vibe.

Am I Submissive? Let’s Talk About Female Submission

For me, female submission is an entirely sexual act, not a lifestyle choice or a facet of my personality. I submit to my partner for my pleasure, as well as for his. The act of him taking pleasure in my sexual submission or bedroom role-play keys into an underlying vanity. That's why I say I'm a secret female submissive... for his enjoyment only.

Nervous when he takes my breath away

Slut-fucking, where 'slut' holds only the right amount of shame, which is none, really at all, yet when he growls it into my ear with a bite of venom in his tone there is a shudder of a pride-humiliation mix that if you've never felt it, you won't understand. Proud to be humiliated in front of him like the sex object he enjoys me being, that I enjoy being, for him. Proud to be his slut, that term of derisive loving perverted endearment; hearing him say that word only to me, only about me, his special slut, no-one else is his slut, only I.