BDSM Articles

My BDSM articles are here to give you the low down on everything kink-related. The world of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism is enormous. There are just so many kinks, fetishes, interests and D/s orientations of the consenting adults involved.

BDSM newbies tend to have their curiosity piqued by something that arouses their kinky interest in the media, such as a bondage scene in an erotic book or movie, or bondage sex toys advertised on TV. Perhaps you’re in a relationship with someone who is already ‘into’ BDSM and you’d like to try it too, or maybe it’s a new interest both of you have decided you’re ready to explore. My beginners to bondage features are very popular, and I’ve written plenty about spanking and general BDSM safety advice too.

From time to time I get specific questions from readers whether they’re BDSM beginners or veteran kinksters. I answer these honestly and as thoroughly as I can based on my own experiences and research, within various BDSM advice features. As I’m trying to provide a comprehensive guide to BDSM here on the Cara Sutra sex blog, I will often tackle a specific kink or fetish in its own dedicated post, such as forced orgasms, watersports & piss play, and the adult baby fetish.

If there is an area of BDSM that I haven’t covered here, or if you have a specific kink-related question you’d like answered in full here on the blog (can be anonymous), then please get in touch and I’ll do my best to help. I hope you enjoy reading all my BDSM articles.

Sexy Name Calling: Goddess, Bitch Or Slut? What’s In A Name?

By Cara Sutra: A shared post on Facebook this morning turned my attention to the subject of sexy name calling. Not in a trolling or abusive way, although this post which was shared to my TL by the brilliant sexual educator that is Charlie Glickman does focus on in appropriate behaviour in what should have been a protective and safe environment for all who attended. As much as the actions of the sexist, inappropriate guy talked about in the post disgusted me, it was one word in particular which made me stop and think.
2019 Reflections: Goodbye To Another Year; Happy New Year 2020

Is Being Kinky Genetic? Do You Have Kink In Your DNA?

Those in the BDSM scene often describe being kinky as a part of who they are -but is this something that could be taken literally? Do you have kink in your DNA? Also, can you inherit a kinky orientation? These are fascinating questions, as I'm sure you'll agree. Perhaps there is a 'kinky gene' in the human psyche, I don't know. I can't say for sure, as I'm no scientist. As for the question, is being kinky genetic? I'd have to say that I believe so, yes.
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Shouty Dominants: Kinky or Abusive?

By Cara Sutra: Are shouty Dominants kinky or abusive? When you think of shouting in a the usual sense, you will probably experience certain visualisations. A couple mid-row. A parent chastising a child. Maybe you recall a personal, perhaps painful, memory.

Will Britney Spears Reveal Fifty Shades of Grey Riding Crop On TV?

...visual references to kink such as collars and leashes, bull whips and mouth gags, Britney Spears has not been backwards about surging forwards into the fetish scene. She's definitely making the most of the effect from the 50 Shades books - not to mention the official 50 Shades of Grey sex toys - on the media and the commercial consequences on various industries in modern culture.

Fifty Shades Of Grey Bridges The Gap Between Vanilla And Kink

How do you feel about 50 Shades? My take on how Fifty Shades of Grey bridges the gap between vanilla and kink

Is Submission A Sign Of Weakness?

Is submission a sign of weakness? Many are fooled into thinking so. I'm talking about submission in sexual or power exchange terms; submission as part of BDSM. 

What Does BDSM Stand For?

What Does BDSM Stand For? BDSM is a term you may have already heard, perhaps conjuring up thoughts of dark, mysterious sex acts that good boys and girls like you would never get up to....

Does Female Chastity Exist? How Can Women Enjoy Orgasm Denial?

The chastity fetish is a BDSM topic very close to my Mistress heart. I've written plenty about male chastity over the years, as well as a guide to chastity devices and several chastity cage reviews. What about women? Does female chastity exist? And how can women enjoy orgasm denial?

Beginner’s Guide To BDSM | BDSM Tips For Beginners | BDSM 101

The enduring popularity of BDSM cannot be attributed in its entirety to the relatively recent appearance of Fifty Shades Of Grey, no matter how much the media would love for that to be the case. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism are all power exchange activities, either including sex or entirely and deliberately absent of it, which have been practiced for centuries.

His Journey To Cocksucking

By Edward Cantor: In a way, my trip could be described as crossing the ocean just to be taken. It wasn’t really that simple, but it was a rather fun way to think of it.

Watersports 101 | Complete Guide To Golden Showers & Piss Play

Does mention of watersports conjure up innocent images of surfing and jet skis -or raise a knowing smirk? For the non-vanilla activity, "golden showers" is probably a more familiar term to most thanks to tabloid coverage of various celebrity/political scandals, as well as good old internet porn.

Do You Feel Guilty About Secret Sadistic Desires?

By Cara Sutra: “I’m a vicious sadist - and I secretly harbour cruel, sadistic desires.” It sounds like the opening line in some sort of therapy group for criminals, doesn’t it? However, there are plenty of people out there who have sadistic desires in a consensual, power exchange way. Do you identify as a sadist in the BDSM community? Do you ever feel guilty about your sadistic desires?

BDSM Relationship Advice For Parents

I hope you feel reassured to hear that many other people certainly do have problems maintaining any sort of intimacy when they start a family or have differing routines. And by intimacy I mean kink, “vanilla” sex, quickies, play – anything sexual. It all gets affected when people experience life changes, stress and time pressures.

High Heels Fetish: The Next Step In Sexy Fashion

It seems that an extraordinary amount of people, myself included, have a fascination or near obsession with shoes - sexy, alluring, high heeled shoes in particular. What is it about these simple pieces of footwear that tug at our heart strings (or clit nerve endings) so much? Is there such a thing as a high heels fetish?

Turned On By His Tears

As the barrier crashes down within him, crumbling to reveal his true self, tears then finally begin to form. I see the subtlest glint and can't help wetting my own lips with my tongue in anticipation –in between my incessant tirade, the code to unlock his complete submissive self.  

How To Find A Dominant Partner

So many of the emails I’ve received over the years have been from men looking for BDSM advice. Many men really want to find a Dominant woman to help them realise their kinky fantasies, or encourage their partner to become a Mistress –or alternatively, a female submissive. Did you know that there is an easy way to find a Dominant partner? Read on and I’ll let you in on the secret.  

Forced Bi Fuck Buddy Slaves for Mistress

By slave penny: I had learned to arrive punctually when fulfilling any command my Mistress had imposed. She could not abide tardiness. It was exactly 7.45 pm as I entered the large entrance to the hotel.

Happy Birthday Daddy

My Daddy is very big and so very strong. He has big hands to hold me tight and strong warm arms to wrap around me tightly and make any bad things go away. Daddy always has zillions Happy Birthday Daddy From Your Dirty Little Girlof cuddles and huggles for his little girl.

What Are BDSM Limits? Is Pushing Limits OK?

What are BDSM limits? And, in a BDSM relationship, is pushing limits OK? Or should both partners just find out what makes them tick and keep right on doing those things without moving the goalposts?

The Conversion: A Male Chastity Story

Time no longer had relevance. There was a time he recalls being locked in this physical and mental cage. He vaguely remembers the drink that made him feel so weak and compliant. He can recollect the smug smile on her face as she led the way down that corridor as he was helplessly, virtually carried along by other slaves. He could also recall the arousal induced by that smile, the click and clack of those sexy high heeled boots as she sauntered along that hard tiled corridor and that derriere that shouted "Woman. Beautiful desirable woman". There was apprehension and some fear but it was indicative of the power of this woman, that arousal was the sensation he remembers most.