BDSM Articles

My BDSM articles are here to give you the low down on everything kink-related. The world of bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism is enormous. There are just so many kinks, fetishes, interests and D/s orientations of the consenting adults involved.

BDSM newbies tend to have their curiosity piqued by something that arouses their kinky interest in the media, such as a bondage scene in an erotic book or movie, or bondage sex toys advertised on TV. Perhaps you’re in a relationship with someone who is already ‘into’ BDSM and you’d like to try it too, or maybe it’s a new interest both of you have decided you’re ready to explore. My beginners to bondage features are very popular, and I’ve written plenty about spanking and general BDSM safety advice too.

From time to time I get specific questions from readers whether they’re BDSM beginners or veteran kinksters. I answer these honestly and as thoroughly as I can based on my own experiences and research, within various BDSM advice features. As I’m trying to provide a comprehensive guide to BDSM here on the Cara Sutra sex blog, I will often tackle a specific kink or fetish in its own dedicated post, such as forced orgasms, watersports & piss play, and the adult baby fetish.

If there is an area of BDSM that I haven’t covered here, or if you have a specific kink-related question you’d like answered in full here on the blog (can be anonymous), then please get in touch and I’ll do my best to help. I hope you enjoy reading all my BDSM articles.

Beginner’s Guide To Bondage | Complete Bondage 101 & Top Tips

Despite Fifty Shades of Grey helping to spotlight the joys of BDSM in the mainstream in recent years, plenty of people have been enjoying the physical, psychological and emotional liberation that the power exchange in D/s role-play offers. Due to the recent sharp rise in mainstream interest, I wanted to share my bondage top tips and advice in this beginner's guide to bondage today. Welcome to my complete bondage 101!

Beginner’s Guide To BDSM | BDSM Tips For Beginners | BDSM 101

The enduring popularity of BDSM cannot be attributed in its entirety to the relatively recent appearance of Fifty Shades Of Grey, no matter how much the media would love for that to be the case. Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism are all power exchange activities, either including sex or entirely and deliberately absent of it, which have been practiced for centuries.

Why We Love Sexy Corporal Punishment

I'd like to talk a little more about why we love sexy corporal punishment here today, and how it really hits our spot. Perhaps this intimate revelation will prompt more people out there to accept spanking and similar as being just as 'acceptable' as 'regular' sex antics, instead of mentally filing such habits as perverted, deviant and downright weird.

How To Have A Kinky Valentine’s Day

Even if your plans consist of a couple of hours together tonight, without work or the kids, possibly with a cheeky tipple, a pizza and a DVD, you may be wishing for a more exciting way to spice things up between you and your partner. There is. Read on for some practical & romantic BDSM tips which will teach you how to have a kinky Valentine's Day.

Kink Compatibility In BDSM Relationships

You crave nothing more than her largest strap-on wedged firmly up your ass. She, on the other hand,  insists you spend the day doing the dishes dressed in sissy frills and heels. However, you're not a sissy and she doesn't own any strap on harnesses. How could things have gone so wrong? It's time to talk about kink compatibility in BDSM relationships.

Humiliating Objectification Fantasies: My Love/Hate Relationship

Guilty is the wrong word; I don't feel guilty about any of my pleasures, as P!nk famously said. I feel weird, and wired, and demanding. I have a high-maintenance imagination. Most notably, I have a private love/hate relationship with humiliating objectification –as a kink and as a popular foundation for my most extreme fantasies.

My Domination: Perception Vs Reality

How people perceive my domination, and the reality of it, is something which has fascinated me for some time. You would be amazed at some of the comments directed my way over the years simply for the ways in which I choose to enjoy my natural dominance, as well as how my actively consenting submissives enjoy it, too. Some of these comments are borne from ignorance, some from jealousy, some from malice, and others simply because the person spoke without properly thinking it all through.

Big Guide To Penis Chastity Devices, & Our Chastity Cage Reviews

Whether you’re looking for your first chastity device, or seeking to add a chastity cage to your *ahem* growing collection, it can be baffling when you realise just how many variants are available. This is particularly the case for lock-up fans who don’t have a Keyholder/Mistress/Top to guide them, and simply wish to explore chastity fetish by themselves. Welcome to my big guide to penis chastity devices!

Forced Orgasms – The Flip Side Of Chastity

I love the freedom to touch myself whenever I want –and I make the most of that freedom, as you can see by the thousands of sex toy reviews and erotic articles here on the blog. Chastity is definitely not for me, when I'm the one locked up I mean. How about the flip side of chastity: forced orgasms? There's still the element of external control -but rather than orgasm denial, I would be (consensually, of course) forced to orgasm over and over.

Watersports 101 | Complete Guide To Golden Showers & Piss Play

Does mention of watersports conjure up innocent images of surfing and jet skis -or raise a knowing smirk? For the non-vanilla activity, "golden showers" is probably a more familiar term to most thanks to tabloid coverage of various celebrity/political scandals, as well as good old internet porn.
Understanding Adult Babies And The Adult Baby Fetish

Adult Baby Fetish 101 | Complete Guide To Adult Babies & ABDL

Cards on the table: this is not my kink. Is it yours? As someone with an interest in another area of ageplay, I imagine that the adult baby fetish is viewed as extremely niche and is often misunderstood. Perhaps feared a little –even within the BDSM sphere.

Bound To Serve As A Sex Slave

After several months' training, both mental and physical, her slave was able to handle one of her ferocious whippings simply through tears, gritted teeth and with only a few sweary slip-ups. He'd learnt that lesson fast, she thought, her smile widening even further. An extra 5 minutes lashing for every curse he spat in her direction soon had him holding his tongue.

Why Do We Fetishize Strap-On Sex? Here’s The Top 10 Reasons

The fact that many people do fetishize strap-on sex, and insist that for them, it's a kinky act, isn't wrong or offensive to me. Pointing out the many reasons why this may be the case, what may have contributed to this conclusion that strap-on sex is necessarily kinky, doesn't mean I disagree that it is. For submissive men who love the idea or reality of strap-on sex, the truth is that it is kinky – and therein lies much of the enjoyment.

My 5 Favourite Kinks – And Why I Find Them So Sexy

If I had to distil my love of everything (well, most things) kinky into a 'Top 5' compilation... what would make the list? Today I'm going to share with you my 5 favourite kinks, then explain why I find them so sexy.

FemDom: The BDSM Scene Outsider?

FemDom is the Marmite of the BDSM world. Female Domination usually elicits a response firmly on one end of the scale or the other: yes please! or ...um, no thanks. While female submission has been warmly embraced by the masses, with sexualised imagery of restrained women now prevalent even in mainstream music and film media, FemDom is still viewed as extremely niche.  

Turned On By His Tears

As the barrier crashes down within him, crumbling to reveal his true self, tears then finally begin to form. I see the subtlest glint and can't help wetting my own lips with my tongue in anticipation –in between my incessant tirade, the code to unlock his complete submissive self.  

Coming Full Circle

The spotlight centred on my naked, kneeling body is bright enough to just reveal the dark forms stood in a circle surrounding me. I feel the men's presence, rather than see them; I'm seeing the scene through my mind's eye in any case, with my eyes squeezed tightly closed, blocking out reality, even while it commands my full sensory attention. 

Reconnecting With My Slave

All that mattered was that it was you, and I was Me, and we were at last together again, present physically rather than two souls connected over long-distance solely through shared perversions, creative intelligence and our consistently passionate bond.  

The Wedding: What’s Yours Is Mine

The whispers of those seated at the back were muffled by the whoops surrounding the drawn-out kiss of joy at the altar, until a natural settling revealed the click-clack of my heels on the stone. A wave of anxious whispers and angry mutters accompanied my approach to the still lost-in-each-other bride and groom, which turned to gasps of shock as I undid and threw off the hideous overcoat without breaking stride. 

What’s The Difference Between Kink And Fetish?

With increasing awareness of and interest in BDSM, much of the related jargon and terms have made their way into common parlance. Two such words are 'kink' and 'fetish'. They're often used interchangeably, but as they are two different words it's natural to wonder what the actual meanings are.