Happy New Year 2019 (& My Vague New Year’s Resolutions…)

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! New year, new you, new me, new everything. Out with the old, in with the new. Ringing the changes. Freshening up. Clearing the clutter and focussing on plans, goals and conquering the world. Not just me who thinks that way after the streamers and paper hats have been tidied up, right?

I hope you all had an absolutely fantastic Hogmanay, and enjoyed a midnight New Year’s kiss with someone special (yourself in the mirror absolutely counts, you beautiful soul you -as does a cuddle with your fave kitty or pupper).

Happy New Year 2019 (& My Vague New Year’s Resolutions...)

Now that it’s 2019, thoughts are of course turning towards shrugging off the excesses and carefree times of Christmas the holidays, and knuckling down to some Serious Self Improvement plans. New Year’s Resolutions. Do you have any?

Year after year I try not to make New Year’s Resolutions which feel ‘set in stone’ – giving myself little leeway seems to just set me up for failure. I naturally rebel against rules –just to see if I can- so New Year’s Resolutions seem at cross-purposes to the way I work in life. That said, I have recently started with the gentler sounding ‘goals’ each year. Call them vague New Year’s Resolutions if you wish.

So what are my personal goals for 2019?

Use Vibrators Less

What?! Renowned sex toy tester Cara Sutra committing to using vibrators less? That can’t be right. Shocking, in fact.

Happy New Year 2019 (& My Vague New Year’s Resolutions...)Yes, I’d love to use vibrators less in 2019 –and just generally in the future, to be honest. There’s more to sensual satisfaction and shared pleasure during sex than using a buzzy to attain the highs.

Years ago I put myself through a 60 Day Vibe Chastity in order to regain my ability to orgasm manually. After using vibrators regularly and over such an extensive period of time, my body –my clit in particular, the centre of how I usually orgasm- gets lazy and relied on the vibrators/vibrations in order to reach climax. That’s not to say that I lose the ability to orgasm manually, it’s just… temporarily forgotten about by my body and mind, because they know vibrators are a short-cut to the top.

I would love to just put vibrating sex toys to the side for a little while, let’s say a few months at first, and concentrate on regaining my ability to orgasm manually once again (hopefully not resulting in a Dry January). More than that, rediscover the joy in stimulation through other things… my imagination, my own anatomy, my partner and shared fantasies leading to play-sessions.

This self-regulation when it comes to vibrators won’t include bondage toys, which don’t interfere with my manual ability to climax or give me a feeling of mental or physical reliance.

There’ll still be plenty of vibrator reviews coming your way (as it were) here at the Cara Sutra sex blog –courtesy of the brilliant Pleasure Panel team.

Get A Therapist

There are various issues I have, even now in my late 30s, that I’m just about ready to get help with. It’s been a tough call, and tougher admitting it, but to be honest I feel good about reaching the point where I am able to say that therapy isn’t a negative or bad option to consider.

Happy New Year 2019 (& My Vague New Year’s Resolutions...)In years gone by I carried a lot of anger about my childhood, the way I was raised in a strict religion (more like a cult), then anger about bad relationships I had once I reached adulthood. I was too angry to seriously consider therapy, even though these elements from my life do affect how I live my life, how I view various situations and my feelings of trust in other people and security in the world at large.

Then there was the difficulty element –I’d tell myself it would be far too difficult a process to get a therapist, the NHS is very slow, there are other people more in need, I’m doing ok anyway, right? It would take months or years… what’s the point… But now, and especially after being able to source a private chiropractor clinic for my physical issues, I feel able to look into getting a therapist appointment in spite of NHS issues. Don’t get me wrong, I love the NHS and it’s a wonderful, wonderful institution. But demand on its resources is great, and therefore waiting times are long. It will be good to find a therapist and pay for a monthly meet –and see how I get on from there.

Learn To Drive

Yes, this is my 2019 Big Challenge! And no, I can’t drive yet! But that may (hopefully) all be about to change…

Happy New Year 2019 (& My Vague New Year’s Resolutions...)Perhaps it’s because I’m nearing the big 40, like conquering a previously insurmountable-seeming challenge per year is my version of a midlife crisis. Or perhaps I’m just so spurred on by my success conquering the main goal I set for myself between January-July 2018. I decided to lose the weight I’d put on first from stress, then from contentment (our house purchase had a lot to do with all of the above!) and actually managed it. I know it’s seemed like I’ve been mentioning it at every opportunity (sorry) but the truth is I’m mainly shocked that I was able to actually achieve my goal of losing over 4 stone in half a year.

So, when it came to setting myself a new major challenge to beat during 2019, and thinking of how accomplished I could feel afterwards, there was one project which immediately sprang to mind. Something I’ve never got round to, and which I’ve always regretted not accomplishing earlier in life. Learning to drive.

I believe this will provide an amazing amount of freedom – not just for myself, but my family too. Watch out world, Cara will be on the roads sometime next year! I could be coming to (or in, knowing me) a town near youuuuuu….


Well there you have it – those are my main hopes and goals (vague New year’s Resolutions if you will) for 2019. What are yours? Care to share? Feel free to comment below, I’d love to hear all about them.


Happy New Year 2019 (& My Vague New Year’s Resolutions...)

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  1. I am also having a hard time reconditioning my body to achieve an O manually… It’s almost like I’ve forgotten how to do it after 4 years, or maybe it’s that I give up after 10 minutes… It’s frustrating, and I’m trying to figure out how to do it. Please share when it happens for you, and how long it took, and if you did anything differently. But damn, Dr Ruth’s Eroscillator is powerful!

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