7 Ways To Recapture Your Honeymoon Sex Life
Busy lives and long-term relationships have a habit of forming the perfect recipe for a stale sex life. If you’ve been in a relationship with your partner for a while, you might have noticed that sex isn’t quite as exciting as it was when you first met. Is there any way to recapture your honeymoon sex life? Whether legally married or living as partners, many couples wish there was something they could do to reignite that new-couple spark in the bedroom.
With that desire in mind, I’ve put together 7 ways in which couples can recreate the excitement of a honeymoon sex life.
Seduce Them All Over Again
I don’t mean you have to dress in your best cocktail bar outfit and pretend to be strangers (until one of you loses it to a fit of giggles), although of course you can if you want to. You can simply ramp up your seduction at home.
I know as much as anyone how comfortable you can get in a long-term rel. Sometimes it’s like there’s no boundaries anymore; especially after children come along. But what about if you didn’t strip off completely naked -while asking if the bins have been put out- before collapsing into bed at night? What if you held a little back, dressed yourself up a little bit with new, sexy underwear designed to elicit a wanton response (plus, change the topic of conversation!)?
Don’t underestimate the sexiness of a surprise now and then either, whether it’s a gift or a special day out together, or even just a saucy text when apart and the intimacy of a snatched cuddle in the midst of your busy lives.
Try A New Sex Position
Less rutting and more ‘in a rut’? Although practice makes perfect, doing it the same way over and over again can heavily contribute to a stagnant sex life. Perfection for you might not mean finding the best way to have sex then abandoning all other ways; after all, variety is the spice of life.
Small changes can have a big impact, so don’t worry if you’re not quite an Olympic gymnast. Not all snazzy sex positions involve plaiting their pubes with your tongue then finishing with a clitoral pirouette on their eyelid, or whatever Cosmo reckon is this week’s Life Changing Sex Move.
Always go doggy? Try spooning instead. If you’re a fan of missionary, then one of our faves, the folded deckchair, might take it to the next level. When you’re mid sex don’t be afraid to experiment with changing up your position either, see how it feels if you move your leg this way or if you face that way instead.
Remember that there’s no law against talking during sex: tell your partner how you feel, and what you’d like to try, so you avoid any awkward misunderstandings about suddenly shifting your limbs around!
Try A New Sex Location
Again, you don’t have to try for anywhere too outrageous – there’s a point where the fear of being caught changes from steamy possibility to brutal reality. Instead of grabbing the lube and heading for the roof of your local Tesco, start with a different room inside your home.
My article Forget Sex Positions, Hello Sex Locations gives in-depth advice on where to experience different sex sensations with your partner.
Introduce Sex Toys
If you’re a regular Cara Sutra reader then you’ll know I’m the teensiest bit in love with sex toys. However, I know not everyone shares my obsession.
Perhaps you use sex toys during masturbation but have never dared talk about their existence with your partner. Some people even think that using sex toys while in a relationship is tantamount to cheating.
Or maybe you just don’t have any sex toys – you might not have ever used a sex toy and you’re really not sure where to begin.
1) Talk to your partner first, and out of the bedroom setting. A vibrating XXXL butt plug at a choice moment isn’t one of those sexy surprises I referred to earlier.
2) Go slow. You don’t have to buy and try everything at once. What’s the rush? You could have fun shopping together for a new toy to try, say once a month, on payday. Get a bullet vibrator to see if you both like vibrations in your intimate areas, then branch out to other dildos, cock rings and teaser strokers.
Read this bite size guide to sex toys and bedroom essentials to find more practical advice and product suggestions.
Sampling a taste of kink in your love life can open the door to a whole new world of both physical and psychological sensations. The spectrum of BDSM play is enormous, so don’t feel you have to be a fully paid (& gimped) up member of the local dungeon in order to be ‘doing it properly’.
Discussing the introduction of a kinky twist during sex could change the way you view and enjoy sex from thereon in. Or, turning it kinky could just be an enjoyable extra you indulge in every so often.
The easiest and therefore most popular ways to try a spot of kink in the bedroom is via bondage and spanking. Restricting your partner’s movements with fabric wrist cuffs can bring out the tiger in you, and the submissive sex kitten in them. Likewise, a spot of hand spanking on their bottom is a very physical demonstration of just how naughty they are, and how much they crave your corrective ‘discipline’.
Sound hot? You can find out more about why everyone is so obsessed with spanking & bondage in my related article.
Just as you obviously prioritise your partner’s safety and comfort during sex (and all aspects of your life together), so too with kinky activities. Due to kink often involving restricted movement and speech capabilities, extra safeguards need to be discussed and put in place before you begin, so that everyone is both safe themselves and assured of the other person’s safety/comfort at all times.
These safeguards typically involve pre-agreed limits, a safeword (or action) so someone can ‘safe out’ of any activity where the word ‘no’ might not really mean ‘no’, only using suitable bondage accessories, and abiding by the principles of active consent at all times.
Sate Both Appetites
Hunger and lust are often compared, and now there’s no need to choose between the two. Bring some food into the bedroom!
…and no, sharing a kebab atop the duvet doesn’t count, nor do those myriad toast crumbs between the sheets (shudder).
If getting kinky (see above) has left you hankering for more, then you could very well turn into an all-out splosher (in which case you’ll need one of these handy fluidproof sheets). To keep the emphasis on romance, however, you can simply feed each other a few tasty morsels as part of your erotic foreplay.
Plan in advance. Buy foods which lend themselves well to being fed to another person, like chocolates and berries. Use a blindfold on each other to up the anticipation and excitement, and run the foods along intimate areas of their naked or semi-naked body to turn the session into an unforgettable stimulation fest.
Share & Indulge A Fantasy
To really heighten the intimacy stakes, there’s nothing quite like sharing a secret. A sexy secret, to be precise.
Sharing one of your fantasies with your partner, and learning about one of theirs, is incredibly exciting. It’s like uncovering another facet about them – just when you thought there was nothing else to learn.
Then you can, if you both want, take steps to make that fantasy reality.
Of course, if the fantasy would be dangerous in reality (or impossible, as fantasies have a habit of being), then you’ll have to improvise along similar lines. Or just use one feature of the fantasy, such as having sex in a different way, in a different place (geographic or anatomical) or while wearing a relevant costume to set your sexy times to sizzling.
In this article I’ve given just a few suggestions to help you recapture your honeymoon sex life. It’s about finding a new approach; not only to the act of sex, but to seduction, foreplay and the entire thread of intimacy in your shared everyday life.
Part of the excitement when you first get with a new partner is that you don’t know them all that well, and that mystique combined with the anticipation of finding out everything, trying out everything, leads to passionate intimate moments.
Although it might be impossible to go back to the almost-strangers that you were back then, you can use the foundation of your love for each other to experiment in the ways mentioned above. In doing do, your sex life will blossom anew, as the spark of passion reignites.
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