How To Turn A Reluctant Partner Into Christian Grey
By Mel MacFarlane, Voluptasse
For those who are enchanted by the romance between Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey, a reluctant partner proves somewhat of a challenge. My inbox is full of disappointed lovers hoping for the Christian Grey bedroom experience, but struggling with their hapless partner who is quite clearly feeling the pressure.
Christian Grey is a billionaire. He rarely seems to do any work and he has an assortment of the fastest cars on the planet. He flies a plane, he owns (and also flies) his own helicopter and on top of all this, he turns women to moulds of jelly with just one glance in their direction. Yet we can’t seem to get our husbands to try and engage with this persona.
Well, do you blame them?
Recognise The Fantasy
Men are unable to compete with a fantasy – and let’s face it, Christian Grey is a fantasy. However, there’s no reason why you can’t enjoy your favourite Fifty Shades Darker fantasy at home. Once you remove Mr Grey from the equation, engaging a reluctant partner is much easier than you think.
With this in mind, let’s take a light-hearted look at the ways we can enjoy Fifty Shades Darker, and incorporate the fun into our own sex lives.
Have Make-Up Sex
In Fifty Shades of Grey, Anastasia fails to use the safe word during spanking and is horrified by the intensity of Christian’s urge to cause pain. As a result, they spend five excruciating days apart from each other. During that time, she also manages to start a whole new life and get a new job – even though she is a walking zombie because she is so heartbroken (I am trying really hard not to roll my eyes here).
This is a tried and tested method for me. In the name of art (and because I love you all), I started an argument about the housework (or lack of it). I didn’t have time to start a new life, and I much prefer being a freelance writer so there are no signs of a new job. This will just have to do. After getting the silent treatment for a few hours, I waited till the kids were in bed and initiated sex.
The result – It was very nice. But then, I always enjoy make-up sex anyway.
Add Food To Your Foreplay Routine
In Fifty Shades Darker, Christian challenges the ‘vanilla’ in ice cream by incorporating it into foreplay. The result is a powerful climax from Anastasia and top marks for Mr Grey.
Food play is really messy and leaves you feeling sticky, sweaty and desperate to do the laundry. However, it can be really fun! If you really don’t want to end up with a large dry cleaning bill invest in fluidproof sheets or try ice cubes. You can also try chocolate body paint. This is painted onto the skin of your lover and licked off, so you get great results but with a lot less mess. Again, this scene is featured in the books but as foreplay goes it’s relatively tame. That means you can enjoy the Christian Grey experience without freaking out your partner.
Ask Him To Insert Ben Wa Balls & Tease Him All Night Long
Before the infamous masquerade ball, Christian Grey slips a pair of Ben Wa Balls into Anastasia to gently titillate the G Spot every time she moved. Just knowing that she was a little hot under the collar made Christian wild with passion.
Before a night out, ask your partner to insert the balls for you and tell him exactly how hot they make you feel. If you can’t speak publicly, send a saucy text and describe every sensation that you’re experiencing. Before you know it, you’ll be enjoying the hottest sex ever.
Experiment With A Little Spanking
In Fifty Shades of Grey, Christian and Ana failed to communicate properly about their expectations. Anastasia also failed to use her safeword which wasn’t just irresponsible but quite dangerous too. This time around, the game was less carnal and more focused on pleasure.
Spanking can be really pleasurable but with all BDSM play, there has to be a lot of research and communication about your individual needs. That’s not to say that you can’t have fun, after all spanking can be lightheaded and fun. However, it can also be urgent and forceful. By communicating and experimenting with the kinds of play you’re hoping for, it can be a really lovely experience.
Shag On A Pool Table, Or Incorporate Sexy Games Into Foreplay
Fifty Shades Darker saw Anastasia’s curiosity about the Red Room reignited. Frightened of losing her again, Christian refuses and she challenges him to a game of pool. The winner gets their own way. Predictably, this game takes an erotic turn.
Taking sex outside of the bedroom is a natural aphrodisiac for those who have a sense of danger. Throwing a sexy game into the mix adds an edge of competitiveness and some light-hearted fun too. By a pool table, I really don’t encourage giving the local bar man Barry an eyeful of your nethers either; it’s just an example.
Get A Little Risqué In Public
Christian and Anastasia have a thing about elevators. If they aren’t bonking in them, they are nearly bonking in them. In one particular scene, they stand nonchalantly at the back of a crowded elevator with Christian’s hand firmly in the underwear of a squirming Anastasia.
Now, I’m not advising that you risk a criminal record for public indecency. However, the more adventurous couples may want to experiment with public titillation by wearing Ben Wa Balls, a remote control love egg or vibrating panties. By letting your lover control the vibration, get ready to enjoy a real treat – but try not to give the game away!
Treat Yourselves To A Bondage Kit And Let Your Imagination Guide You
Everyone is obsessed with the Red Room of Pain, especially Christian and Anastasia. However, this is particularly daunting for a lot of partners. Again, if kinky sex is something that you want to experiment with – establish lots of ground rules and remember to stay safe.
Want to experiment with bondage play but don’t have a lot of money? The Fantasy by Cara Sutra Beginner’s Bondage Kit is a great value, all in one bondage set which is perfect for newbies. Light-hearted and fun for those who want to play, it also offers a darker edge for the more serious participant.
– Mel MacFarlane
About the writer: Mel MacFarlane is an experienced adult industry copywriter, product reviewer and business consultant. You can find her at her own leading sexuality magazine, Voluptasse. You can also follow Mel’s work on Twitter and Facebook.
This article contains affiliate links