8 Things All Men Do During Sex Which Spells The End Of Your Relationship

Things All Men Do That You Should Be Worried About (Apparently)

Can the world please stop caring so damn much about what (supposedly) all men do? Or what all men think? And how, all these things ALL MEN DO! Or ALL MEN THINK! are immediate and obvious signs that you, as a woman, are unattractive/unloved/neglected/totally shit in bed and should go and live under a rock with only a masturbatory twig for company?


I feel a bit guilty over the (somewhat hypocritical) click-bait title on this one, but you have to admit that it got you here and reading. Did you think there were specific and noticeable things all men do during sex which means the end of a relationship? Or were you just scandalised that I would dare presume such nonsense?

This honestly isn’t a ‘shove your patriarchy’ type post, although I do despair over how much attention is apportioned to men’s opinions of absolutely anything rather than women’s. In this case though, I’m as pissed off on men’s behalf as I am women’s. To be blunt, I am sick of seeing ‘things all men do’ articles.

‘Things all men do’ articles are designed to prey on women’s body issues, relationship insecurities and other intimate vulnerabilities. They presume that all women are hetero and cis, and that all people are gender-binary. They’re also bloody insulting to men. Articles along the lines of:

  • What are men really thinking during sex?
  • What do men really feel about women with small tits?
  • Is he finding your jiggly thighs unattractive during sex?
  • 10 ways to stop your man from noticing you’ve had Botox
  • Best positions to hide your baby belly from your man during sex
  • Why all men hate it when you bring your vibrator to bed
  • Does your man watch porn? 8 tell-tale signs
  • 25 things all men do when they’re having an affair

Sure, I can understand that when people are worried, they turn to the guru also known as Google for help, for advice… for some relief that they’re not losing it. God knows we’ve all done the 2am panic-search through WebMD.

There might be signs that your partner is losing interest in your relationship. There could be signs that your partner is thinking certain things during sex. There might even be signs that your partner watches porn – whether you agree with the habit or it makes you feel sick to your stomach. There’s an easy way to find out and it doesn’t have anything to do with the ‘advice’ churned out in internet articles similar to the titles I’ve mentioned above.

Ask them.

Don’t hide yourself away with Google, fretting over what the internet says. Talk to your partner. Only they can tell you for sure what’s really going on in their head and heart.

Your man isn’t all men, is he? Or did you really want to be in a relationship with a clone? Is your partner really that boring that his characteristics can be summed up by a stranger on the internet? Is he that predictable that someone who doesn’t even know that you’re going to be reading their article knows precisely how your partner will act during sex and what is going through their mind at the time? Seriously?

Content mills (who invariably are the major source of these low quality internet hooks) need to get a bit smarter. I know that these ‘OMG! All men do this and think that!’ articles are wonderful click-bait, but please. Stretch your imaginations a little further. Respect your readers. Give advice to people who have such low self-esteem, such low confidence in themselves that they feel the need to scour for articles like this – which rarely do anything but perpetuate the low confidence/sexual shame/body negativity/relationship paranoia cycle. All men might not, in fact, be secretly repulsed by your wobbly thighs which is proven by the fact his cheek twitches when he orgasms. Perhaps it would be better to encourage people to communicate with their partners and find out exactly what is going through their very unique mind, instead of assuming we’re all generic clones. Presuming all women are worried they’re fat, neglected and unloved, and presuming all men (to whom these articles are just as insulting, as I’ve mentioned) are all 100% sex-focused, always cheating in their relationship or at least considering it, watching porn on the sly and aren’t in love with their partner at all, actually.

Official Stampy Pants RantI would love to think that most people skim-read these ‘things all men do’ articles, if they ever happen to click on them at all, with a well-deserved tut and eye-roll. Sadly, I have to draw the conclusion from the sheer popularity of this type of article that there are plenty of people out there who not only seek out these ‘things all men do’ articles but take the content of them way too seriously. Feeding insecurity and body issues in this secret way – instead of talking to your partner and encouraging open communication – just breeds paranoia and resentment. Resentment about issues you might think you see or be persuaded by the internet that you spot in your sex life and relationship -but which might, in reality, not even exist at all.

Don’t let these ‘things all men do’ articles attempt to teach you about your man, your partner. You were interested enough to get to know your partner by yourself at the start of your relationship – why take any notice of negative, body-shaming, stereotype-perpetuating articles on the internet now?



Click to read more Cara Sutra stampy pants rants


  1. Hooray for you Cara! When I saw the title I was thinking, ‘Cara no!’ – But of course not! You’re fab. and right. Love this post. It’s all about communication x x

    • Thanks Tabitha! Saw yet another of these ‘things all men do’ articles the other day and it was the last straw!

  2. This is excellent in all possible ways. I’m going to read it aloud to my man in bed. I suspect it will blow his mind =)

  3. Knowing the kind of things you write I knew there had to be more to it than a list of things and that is what made me click on it.

    Thank you for not making another one of those useless lists and reminding people that as always communication is the key. X

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