How difficult is it to balance being a mother and a sex toy tester?
An interview with “A”
Being a mum is a hard enough job in itself, but mothers around the world take on a second job for a variety of reasons. Adding ‘sex toy tester’ to your CV might seem a strange choice, but what better balance to the challenging nature of motherhood than the pursuit of pleasure? I see more and more women balancing being a mum and a sex toy tester all the time, and as you can probably tell from this blog, I’m a sex toy tester myself. I’m also a mama to two beautiful boys.
It’s lovely to be able to introduce another sex toy tester to you today, who writes anonymously and has opted to be known only as “A”.
“A” has kindly answered some questions to give us a different perspective into the challenges of being a mother and a sex toy tester.
Perhaps we should start with a little about you… where do you hail from? How long have you been a sex blogger or sex toy tester?
I was born in Bristol in a little house with 3 brothers and 1 sister! I now live in South Gloucestershire with my two daughters and partner of 15 years.
I’m much more of a sex toy tester than a “blogger” as such, I review toys and lingerie on a few sites, each under a different name to hide my identity. I did have a sex blog but it’s currently hiding in the shadows.
How did you get started in the world of sex blogging?
It all started with a couple of purchases from Lovehoney. I created a community account and wrote a couple of reviews. This was in 2010 and I received my first “tester” item. It kind of rolled on from there.
What challenges do you face as a mum and a sex toy tester? Do you have any difficulties or worries about hiding it from the kids?
Funny story, when my kids were 1 and 6, I caught them in my bedroom, looking in my cupboard and my youngest had a bottle of lube in her hand and my eldest was holding a spanking paddle! Oh, the embarrassment! Thankfully I managed to get a bigger box to conceal my toys in and they’ve been a little less snoopy since!
It can be tricky with the deliveries coming in, but I do order a lot of bits and bobs from eBay too, so they don’t really notice it.
I think it’s just about being clever with them, especially on weekends and school holidays, finding time to be together as a couple is hard enough, never mind adding toys to the mix! A lot of the time it’s about opportunity and spontaneity with us.
I also have a part time job, so it can be a multi-juggle. It’s a challenge, and I embrace it!
In your opinion, what makes being a sex toy tester different when you’re a mum – as opposed to when you don’t have any children?
Really, I don’t like to categorise myself against people without children, I have a friend who is very young yet has a full time job and cares for her mum, and she has just started using toys and finding herself, so I’d say she’s busier than me! But I think from a parents prospective, when you don’t have children, there’s that little bit more freedom to not have to hide things or explain what this big collar is doing in the bedroom and what that noise was last night! Hindsight, being a crazy cat lady would’ve been easier! I do think having children of my own makes me see my own education growing up as a waste of time. And owning toys and gadgets has definitely made me think that I should educate my girls when the time comes.
If you have a partner, what do they think about you being a sex toy tester?
He’s all for it, he doesn’t get involved a huge amount, only when I require a penis or another bottom’s point of view on a toy. And I like to have his opinion on lingerie or clothing, he is honest with me and I usually make sure I can see his member’s reaction to any outfit I’m wearing. Standing to attention means it’s a good choice!
What steps do you regularly have to take in order to hide the fact you’re a sex toy tester from the children?
I have boxes in my cupboard which are bland and boring so no one is tempted to have a look inside. It’s stored next to camping equipment which isn’t the most interesting of places. Opening some boxes will have to wait until after their bed time, some I open whilst I’m cooking or when they are preoccupied with something. My eldest is approaching an age where there will be questions soon, and has learned which stair creaks (we’ve all done that, right?) so she can sneak up the stairs to see what we are up to! Everything I do for reviewing etc, is on my phone, and they don’t really use it or come into contact with it. But I do take the precaution of deleting any photos that may harm their eyes and scar their childhood memories!
Do your friends and family know that you’re a sex toy tester? What do they think? Do you think people judge differently when you’re a mother?
Most people that I’ve told have thought that it’s “awesome” or “cool” being a parent hasn’t really been an issue within these conversations. I’ve had very little judgement from them with regards to it, more admiration than anything.
What’s your favourite thing about being a sex toy tester?
I have endometriosis, I’m 5’2″ tall, and a size 30AAA bra. These stats aren’t very common, so I just enjoy reviewing and looking at things from this prospective, mostly the lingerie, there are a lot of women who are less endowed than others and I like to think I’m giving something useful to them.
How long do you plan to continue in your sex toy tester role?
I’m currently having a little break from it since moving house and having a couple of issues with my personal life, I’m hoping to get back into it soon. I’ve been lucky enough to be sent an item from a blogger friend for a guest review, and it’s given me the bug back.
How would you feel if, later on in their adult life, your child became a sex toy tester? Would you care/want to know or rather they didn’t tell you/hid it from you?
I’d love to know about it. I’m hoping they’d feel comfortable with me to talk to me about it, I would try and advise them as much as I can without getting in the way!
Do you feel more limited in achieving all your sex toy tester ambitions because you’re a mother? Does it stop you from doing things other sex toy testers or sex bloggers without children are able to do?
No, I don’t think so, the only issue I have come across is taking good photos, not easy with little ones around.
Give it a go! It’s worth at least trying it! One thing I’ve found is how lovely and friendly the reviewing and blogging community is, everyone supports each other rather than competing with each other. It’s not as scary as it looks.
Before you became a sex toy tester, were you given any advice on how to get started? What was the best/most useful piece of advice you received?
I didn’t have any advice but I did a lot of snooping of others reviews to get a good idea on how others write. But I’ve found that writing like others didn’t work for me.
The best advice I’ve had is to be yourself.
When you write for fun, what’s your favourite sexy topic write about? (sex toy guides, product reviews, writing erotic stories, giving sex advice, writing up your sexual adventures, writing up a diary entry on BDSM life and adventures?)
Definitely product reviews, I’ve tried stories but it didn’t really work very well for me, I think my imagination isn’t working with my brain to put it into words!
What are your top three favourite sex toys and why?
Ooh tough one.
1. Magic Wand Vibrator. I owned one for a year before using it and I have no idea why. Once I used it for the first time, I ended up forgetting a few other toys existed. I’m a power queen and it’s perfect for me.
2. Metal jewelled butt plug. Many reasons why I like this one, firstly, it’s a butt plug, secondly, it’s aluminium, and finally, it’s got a pretty gem at the end!! I love love love it!
3. We-Vibe Tango. Power in my pocket. That is all.
What’s your best sex tip?
Be open with your partner and yourself. Explore your fantasies and kinks as best you can. Don’t be afraid to ask for advice and help.
Do you have a blog? Where can we find it? Also, are you on social media?
Currently sleeping. Will revive/create new soon hopefully.
Thanks “A” for giving us a little insight into the challenges behind being a mum and a sex toy tester.
Are you a parent? Would you like to explore pleasures of a more adult nature to provide a refreshing contrast in your life? You could be a sex toy tester too. Read my advice on how to become a sex toy tester, then take a look at how to join my Pleasure Panel of guest sex toy reviewers right here at CaraSutra.