How to calculate your average number of lovers
Determining promiscuity through sexy maths
I had a silly idea about a sexual equation to create an Averaged Singleton Statement to determine a single person’s average number of lovers.
A true reflection of our sexual habits would take into account the number of relationships we have had, how long those relationships last and the number of years we have been sexually active, so why not use that information to create a generalised representation of our single habits? Can it really be less of a representation of our single habits than a bed notch count?
I want to state that this is just a bit of fun. The person who can best understand your habits is yourself… or a qualified professional. This sum provides a little interesting reflection and nothing more.
How to find your Averaged Singleton Statement
Firstly, calculate how much time you’ve spent in relationships, how many relationships you have had, how many lovers you’ve had (including those with whom you had a relationship) and how long you have been sexually active for. Record all timescales in months, not years.
Number of months sexually active: 156
Number of lovers including those with whom you had a relationship: 16
Number of relationships: 7
Number of months spent in relationships: 134 (The summation of all 7 relationships)
The sexy maths
Subtract the months you have been in a relationship from the months you have been sexually active to find out how long you have spent as a sexually-active single:
(number of months sexually active) – (number of months spent in relationships)
156 – 134 = 22 months
Subtract the number of lovers you’ve had outside of relationships from the number of sexual partners you have had to find out how many lovers you have had sex with without commitment:
(number of lovers – number of relationships)
16 – 7 = 9 lovers outside of relationships
Divide the number of lovers you’ve had outside a relationship by the number of months you’ve been single. This gives you an average of how many lovers you’ve taken per month as a single person:
(Number of lovers ) ÷ (number of months single)
9 ÷ 22 = 0.4 lovers per month
If less than one per month, increase the time span over which lovers are counted.
0.4 lovers = 1 month
0.8 lovers = 2 months
1.2 lovers = 3 months Approximately 1 lover for every 3 months of single life
Does your average number of lovers matter?
Completely devoid of intervening factors, this sort of thing could never be taken seriously. Nor can the number of sexual partners you’ve had. Someone who has slept with hundreds of people may have had a committed relationship which lasted for a year and has not formed a relationship since. Another person may have spent their years in a single relationship and cheated dozens of times, cheating the equation too. Perhaps they’re a fricking porn star still involved with their first true love?
Relationships and human interactions are complex things dependent on infinite factors and are further complicated by a number of interpersonal relationships of varying depths, time spans and frequencies. Environmental factors, habitual factors, emotional factors, how we grow and change, the people we meet and the circumstances in which we find ourselves are just a few reasons why we shouldn’t be judged by a shitty number.
These sorts of things are nonsense and shouldn’t be taken seriously by anyone worth their salt. Judge your lover by their actions toward you and around you, not by their sexual past.
About the author: Hella Rude works as a freelance writer, model, adult e-commerce consultant and occasional TV presenter and actress. You can find her sassy, sensational and downright sexy writings at her author page here at Cara Sutra.