Bare-faced chic – let’s talk about anonymity and sex blogging

Anonymity and Sex Blogging

Face. Bothered?

anonymity and sex bloggingI decided my anonymity level right at the start of my sex blogging life. I was semi-anonymous in my previous Fetish scene online persona and website, but upon evolving to and adding a sex blog I knew I still wanted to keep my home address private but it didn’t matter to me if people knew my real name or general location. My real name has become better known in general thanks to a large media story covering my work last summer, and I have also included it on my blog’s homepage for seo reasons, so it’s pretty easy to find it if you really must know.

My address is another matter and I will not put my home address on the internet as I believe it’s the safest thing to do – keep it private. I do have a PO Box address which products and other items can be posted to. Although I don’t let people know my home address in the public arena of the internet, I do give my home address to companies who want to send products for me to review and other promotional materials in relation to my adult industry marketer business.


When it comes to photographs I will show implied nude and most parts of my body (including my face) but I don’t do pink pics/full frontal/spread. Just my personal choice, everyone’s different.

This pretty open way of working on the internet has advantages and disadvantages. My blog and brand is very much me as a person rather than an abstract name, so there is very little that I can delegate to others. Emails and enquiries need to be replied to by myself rather than any admin support, and the majority of the writing at is undertaken by myself although I have recently added 5 regular columnists as well as the Pleasure Panel of product reviewers. My social media accounts are all 100% managed by me as well. As a growing business it’s difficult to juggle everything but I don’t want to lose my brand’s integrity and outsource areas which people trust to be my voice and my way of working.

Fetish Fantasy Spandex Open Mouth Hood ReviewI am also now very recognisable in the adult industry so if I ever wanted to change what I do for a living, say, work for an adult products company full time and simply blog on the side, this would be difficult to achieve. I wouldn’t be able to work for an adult company while showing who I was on the web because I believe this would negatively impact my site’s advertisers who could feel I was suddenly biased in favour of the company whose payroll I was on, instead of being neutral and independent.

It is also highly unlikely I would be hired to be the ‘face’ of any product ranges or promotional campaigns because I have such a strong brand of my own –which has my face attached to it.

However, the upside of showing my face and name – and yes, body sometimes – to the world is that my readers can see that I have a full transparency policy when it comes to my blogging. I am not hiding anything and they don’t have to wonder whether I am who I say I am, if the blog is being written by the same person all the time or not, or indeed who it even is that’s behind this website. Being able to connect with someone who has their face on the internet maintains a strong bond with my readers, in my opinion, and it also motivates companies to want to work with someone who isn’t afraid to be openly and publicly connected to the adult industry and related products. It also makes attending adult events easy as I don’t have to worry about having my photograph taken or being recognised either at the event or from photographs of it afterwards online.

Do you have concerns about your anonymity as a sex blogger? It’s understandable if so. Often there is more at stake than just consequences to yourself – what your family and friends will think if/when they find out, for one – and many sex bloggers have their own children of varying ages and access to the internet. It is not a decision to be taken lightly and without thought. When it comes to your personal ‘reveal level’, ask yourself which personal details you’re willing to share, from your real name and location to the explicitness of personal photographs. Should you change your mind in the future, make sure it’s a personal choice rather than peer pressure, because it’s ‘what sex bloggers do‘ or in a desperate bid to increase blog traffic – a decision you may later regret.




  1. Wonderful post Cara.
    I struggled for ages with my identity and felt like I wanted to be completely anonymous for my family’s sake. However, they are all very supportive. I’m slowly coming out of my shell and I have to say, I find you and the way you do things very inspiring when it comes to this area.
    I think your confidence breeds confidence in others.
    After all, I’m proud of what I do.
    Thanks for this post!

  2. Anonymity is something I thought about a lot before setting up my blog. I don’t have any worries about friends or family finding it but I do worry about employers or clients finding it. I have decided not to use my name or show my face. I may still be identifiable to people who know me well but there is no way someone could search my name and stumble upon my blog, which is enough for me.

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