How To Write Spanking Into Your Sex Scenes | Erotic Writing Advice

How To Write Spanking Into Your Sex Scenes

Last time I tied you down, this time I’m going to spank you. Don’t worry you won’t feel a thing. Unless you take my spanking advice in point 3 that is. I’m going to give you some hints and tips on capturing corporal punishment that will turn your readers on not scare them off.

  1. Know your Audience

This bit of advice is used often for all different things but it’s especially important when you’re writing sexy fiction. You aim to turn your readers on so know who they are. What do they like? Use sales info and reviews to work out what your readers enjoy. If you’ve not got an established fan base decide what kind of readers you want to attract. This will dictate how intense you get with your punishment. If you’re known for sweet, sensual love making you probably don’t want to leap right in with a long, hard caning. If you’re audience expects hardcore filth there’s no point fannying about with a light slapping.  If your audience is just you, then write what you want to read. If you’re sharing with a partner, write what turns you both on.

Basically, go with your gut (or slightly lower) and write a story you want to be read.

  1. Know your Characters

When you’re reading you’re actively suspending disbelief. That’s what helps us feel like we’re escaping into another world and gives that magical feeling we all love from books. The worst thing is when you read something that kicks you out of that little magical world, it’s often hard to get back into a story and can turn people off not just that book but the author too.

So when you’re writing you need to know your characters. How will they react to spanking being introduced? Is it likely that some naïve virgin is going to want a stern chastisement straight away? It might be, if you build your character up so that desire is understandable. Don’t just throw a spanking in to spice up your story, it won’t work, it will be jarring. The spanking needs to have purpose and further the story just like any other plot point you would choose to use.

  1. Ouch, that hurts!

The whole point of fiction is to make things up but there has to be an element of realism for your scenes to be believable. If you’re a sub who loves a spanking then you’re going to know exactly how it feels to be slapped with a hand, a paddle or a crop but what if you’re a top or a spanking virgin?

Well this is where you need to do some slightly painful research. Hit yourself. No, not now, wait a minute.  First of all locate a suitable instrument. Might be your hand or if you’re lucky/kinky enough to own a paddle or a flogger you can use that or it might be something more domestic like a ruler or a wooden spoon or spatula maybe a belt. Okay, got it? Now locate a nice, fleshy bit of your body that you can reach.  Your thigh (inner or outer), the fleshy part of your inner arm (just below your elbow) somewhere like that. Avoid anywhere bony or locations of delicate organs. You’re not going to hit yourself too hard but you always have to be careful with this kind of impact play.

Now you can hit yourself, but not too hard at first. Gently does it. Slowly build up the intensity to experience the different levels of sensation. How does it feel? Do the sensations change the harder you hit? Is there a sting or a thud, is there a heat or a level of burning? Does your flesh tingle? Is it really painful and only painful or can you get the pleasure from it too?

Of course, if you have a willing partner you could get them to hit you. Establish your boundaries, use a safe word if you want, it could be a fantastic learning experience and who knows, you might find out you like it!

I was really lucky recently and got to experience an expert flogging and paddling from Mistress Cara herself. What I do in the name of research, eh? I’m very dedicated to my fiction. 😉

  1. Get Comfortable

Or uncomfortable depending on how mean your Dom is. Where is the spanking taking place? How easy will it be for the spankee to stay still? It’s these little details which will make your scene all the more realistic. If you want a long, session with the submissive in the same position you’re going to need to get them comfortable, if you want to up the stakes get them into more unusual positions, maybe on their toes or you could have them restrained (I’ve written something to help you with that) or resting somewhere a bit precarious.

spanking in progress

You don’t have to keep to domestic situations. Your characters could go to a BDSM club and that gives you a good excuse to visit one too or have a look online for photos of dungeons and dungeon furniture. The great outdoors also lends itself to spanking fun with the extra edge of being discovered.

Let your imagination run wild!

  1. Spank Spank Spankity Spank!

I’ve mentioned in every article how important it is to engage all the senses. The point here is that a big part of the sexy fun of spanking is the sounds. The noise of the crop cutting through the air, the sound of hand impacting on buttocks and the cries elicited from the person being struck.


Spank, spank, spank, spank, spank.

Isn’t sexy. Nope. Not slightly.

The odd spank will work in context but think of other words to describe the sounds. Crack, thump, clap, slap, thud, whip… there’s a few to get you started. Also describe the noises from the spanker and spankee. Panted breathing, giggles, squeaks, screams and whimpers could come from either source. Maybe your Dom laughs with delight with every welt she raises with her cane.  Maybe the sub of the scene squeaks when the Dom lightly runs her fingers across the flesh she’s just reddened.

Here’s a short snippet from my Totally Bound Novella, Something Brave, to illustrate what I mean.

She breathed moments before the impact of the first smack. She gasped in shock, but there was no real pain, just a soft clap of hand on flesh. She felt his handprint on her bum as he raised and dropped his palm again on the same spot. This happened a few more times, the weight in the slap increasing each time until a sting ran through her butt cheek. At that point, she twitched and hissed, and he swapped across to the other cheek and repeated the process. Her arms shook from holding herself up and her breath came in pants between gasps and hisses as he used his hand to warm her behind.

And her cheeks were definitely warm, approaching hot. He wasn’t being as gentle now. All his thwacks hit with the same intensity, and by the time she took the fifth in a row, she’d yelped from the intense sting of the impacts, and he’d move over to the other buttock. It was strange, but as the number of blows increased, the sting seemed to mellow into a constant glow that radiated through her pussy. She lost count of how many times he hit her. Tensed, she rode every blow, feeling the pool of warmth grow to encompass her whole arse.

Remember that your reader can’t see into your imagination. They don’t know what you know, you have to capture it with your words.

  1. How much?

I’ve given up reading many an erotic story because it’s gone from nought to blistering backside in the space of a few paragraphs. Be realistic with your spanking. Buttocks have to be warmed up, pain maybe enjoyed but be sure to add in some pleasure too. We write erotica, our spankings need to be sensual they’re meant to turn on the reader not make them cringe and roll up into a tight lil’ ball and whimper. I’m not saying you can’t get your evil, wicked punishment on, just let your readers know it’s coming and make sure you’re sprinkling liberal amounts of consent around, no one wants to think your Dom is a crazy psycho with more money than sense and mummy issues.

Wait, did I just make a… no, I wouldn’t would I? Good. Okay, moving on.

Keep a tally of what punishment happened and when. If your submissive has had her bottom well and truly paddled she’s unlikely to be able to take more a matter of hours later. There are other forms of pleasurable pain and I’ll cover those in another article. It’s the moment you go from believable to ‘that so couldn’t happen’ that you lose your audience. This is where a trusted pair of eyes other than your own come in handy. Let a friend or partner read the scene (someone you can trust to be honest) and ask them what they think about it.

  1. BondagePaddleVanilla Spanking.

Nope, not spanking with cupcakes or scented candles, vanilla spanking is when playful punishment happens between people who aren’t seen to be kinky. This can be quite a fun scenario to play with and is one I’ve used quite a bit. Sex is brilliant, right? But part of what makes it brilliant is the vast variety of sexy fun times out there to be enjoyed. Why stick to chicken fried rice every night when there’s a whole elaborate Chinese menu to sample, right?

So how does it work? Vanilla people aren’t necessarily going to have safe words and refer to submissives and Dominants because they might be completely unaware of all that. Well, No can mean no in such a scenario, consent can be ascertained by an invite to enjoy more spanking. Submissiveness can be indicated by calling the spanker ‘sir or madam’ or even just by using their full name.

If you’ve never written any spanking scenes before this could be a good place to get yourself warmed up. Try getting your characters mucking around in the kitchen with a wooden spoon or there’s plenty of fun to be had in a home office or over the dining room table. Get your vanilla characters out of the bedroom and into the mood for some sexy punishment.

  1. You can’t be serious.

Well, you can be. Punishment is of course a serious subject but you don’t have to be serious with a spanking. You can have laughter and giggling and mucking about. Things can go wrong (flogger in the face, cane strike misses) maybe there’s tickling or there could be some seriously staged play acting going on.

Anyone wanna wear a headmaster’s gown and send me to their office? Anyone?

Don’t resist opportunities to lighten up the atmosphere. It can work really well to ultimately build the tension. Build up the serious sexiness and break it again with a little humour and then build it again. Trust me, I’m the queen of Smut, I know about these things.

I hope these hints help you to write some seriously spankingly good erotic scenes. If you have any questions comment below and I’ll do my best to answer!



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